Having several participants in the marriage mass?

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Renae

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Hello, I believe this is my first post here, I have wandered around and read a lot of the topics, but haven’t had a question until now.

I hopefully will be getting married soon, so I am starting to think about the mass and all of the other things involved with the day. I’ve bought a few books for after the marriage (NFP) and one about understand catholic marriages.

I’m catholic, but my boyfriend is nondenominational. His mother has her Ph.D. and is a minister. I also have a best friend who is in college getting his masters in Theology and planning to become a minister. I know that the vows can only be made once, and without special permission, can only be made in catholic form with the priest. Because his mother is a minister, I would really like to include her in teh ceremony too, the same with my childhood best friend. They are both close to me and I want to have them be a part of this special day.

Other than having them do readings, prayers and possibly helping with the music, what other ways could I have them participate? As I am hoping that they can really feel like they have played a part in the wedding, as they have both made a big impact in my life.

Any advice is helpful, as I still have at least a year to go, I would like to get some opinions early! Thank you.
 
I presume those two individuals are baptized, and that you wish to have the Catholic form of marriage.

However, this would probably occur outside the Mass since your bf is not Catholic, and we do not know that he is baptized…

In any case, canonical form will require the priest to seek and receive your declarations of marital consent. In other words, he has to preside over the vows, and there can be nothing to suggest that it is the non Catholic minister who does so or takes those actions which create the marriage.

I recommend you simply contact your parish priest to discuss the possibilities that are allowed. He will consult the Ecumenical Directory and the particular norms of your diocese.

No. 158 of the ED provides in part, “Upon request of the couple, the local Ordinary may permit the Catholic priest to invite the minister of the party of the other Church or ecclesial Community to participate in the celebration of the marriage, to read from the Scriptures, give a brief exhortation and bless the couple.”

A similar provision would regard the theological student as a reader.

However, you may want to consider whether the mother of the groom should or will want to wear two hats.

Again, the priest will be aware of diocesan policy.
 
Thanks for the info.

Yes, all three individuals are baptized for your information.

The mother has indicated that she would like to have a part in our marriage. I have told her though that it will be a Catholic ceremony and I wasn’t sure what part she would play, but told her I would make sure she could be in the ceremony. (I did a reading for my friend’s wedding, so I was aware you could have others do readings during the mass.)

Anyways, thanks for the info.
 
Renae said:
Hello, I believe this is my first post here, I have wandered around and read a lot of the topics, but haven’t had a question until now.

I hopefully will be getting married soon, so I am starting to think about the mass and all of the other things involved with the day. I’ve bought a few books for after the marriage (NFP) and one about understand catholic marriages.

I’m catholic, but my boyfriend is nondenominational. His mother has her Ph.D. and is a minister. I also have a best friend who is in college getting his masters in Theology and planning to become a minister. I know that the vows can only be made once, and without special permission, can only be made in catholic form with the priest. Because his mother is a minister, I would really like to include her in teh ceremony too, the same with my childhood best friend. They are both close to me and I want to have them be a part of this special day.

Other than having them do readings, prayers and possibly helping with the music, what other ways could I have them participate? As I am hoping that they can really feel like they have played a part in the wedding, as they have both made a big impact in my life.

Any advice is helpful, as I still have at least a year to go, I would like to get some opinions early! Thank you.
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It is recomended that since one of the people getting Married and usually their family are unable to receive Holy Communion. The Rite of Marriage be celebrated outside of Mass. So as to not exclude “half” of those attending. The only possibility I can think of for participation is possibly one of the non-Gospel readings. They really cannot participate on any other way in the Catholic Rite of Marriage.
 
I was told that the readings and whatnot at any mass, wedding or regular, had to be performed by catholic people since it is a catholic ceremony. Is that incorrect? Also, since one person is catholic and presumably holds the eucharist in a high place in her heart, could they go ahead and have a full mass at their wedding despite the fact that the majority of the people there could not participate fully? Sorry if I’m taking this in a different direction than was intended, but I’m just curious.

You could always have those people play a big part in the reception if they can’t have a big part in the actual wedding.
 
Renae,

Don’t get flustered because it is your big day, OK? Talk to your priest or deacon, just like Deacon Lansing suggested. He knows what is allowed and what is not in your diocese, and he knows what is allowed or not in general. He can choose to invite your fiance’s mother to do anything ministerial. He will also know the best way to honor your friend through participation. He’s been trained for this. Let him do where he’s skilled.

Blessings on your soon-to-be new state in life!
 
what is allowed and what is not allowed-music, readings etc. will be covered in your marriage prep classes. the first thing you must address in your interview with the priest or deacon who supervises this is the fact you are marrying a non-Catholic since that dispensation must be applied for, and you must both be counselled on what the ramifications are, specifically the duties and promises required of the Catholic partner.

You will probably be strongly advised to have a ceremony outside of Mass without communion so as to avoid the problem of emphasizing the dis-unity among those present since half those attending may not receive communion. this way those aspects in which we are in union, the scripture proclamation for instance, will be emphasized.

I love the Hispanic customs which allow numerous friends and family to be involved in the non-liturgical cultural activities which accompany a wedding: giving the lasso, coins, Bible, flowers etc.
 
journey137 said:
I was told that the readings and whatnot at any mass, wedding or regular, had to be performed by catholic people since it is a catholic ceremony. Is that incorrect? Also, since one person is catholic and presumably holds the eucharist in a high place in her heart, could they go ahead and have a full mass at their wedding despite the fact that the majority of the people there could not participate fully? Sorry if I’m taking this in a different direction than was intended, but I’m just curious.

You could always have those people play a big part in the reception if they can’t have a big part in the actual wedding.
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Of course a Catholic could always celebrate their Rite of Marriage within a Mass if they want. The Lay Readers reading the non-Gospel readings during a Mass should be from the parish community or at least the Catholic community.
 
Non Catholics are forbidden to do the readings or be part of the Catholic ceremony.

It is different if you get a dispensation to get married in a Protestant ceremony under their auspices with a Catholic priest or deacon present-

Then again I wonder :hmmm: why a good Catholic would want such thing. I think I would croak if my daughter would desire such- heretics involved with such an important sacrament.

Ken
 
The reason I asked about the readings, if you’re referring to me, is because I converted a couple years ago. And while my faince is a cradle catholic, his family has about as many good, practising catholics in it as mine – in other words none as far as I know. We had been told that we could not have noncatholics do the readings and that we could have a mass with the wedding even though not many of the family guests will be able to participate. We’re going to invite the whole church where he grew up and the church in our college town now, the people in a club I’m in (alpha chi sigma – professional chemistry fraternity for those interested) and the newman members of campus too. I’m sure we’ll be able to find somebody willing and able to do some readings out of all of those people we’ll be inviting so it’s not a big deal, but it would have been nice to involve the family instead of just friends… then again, some of my family probably won’t be attending because it’s going to be a catholic ceremony, but I’m getting terribly off topic here so I’ll stop.
 
The Lay Readers reading the non-Gospel readings during a Mass should be from the parish community or at least the Catholic community.
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Indeed, this would be the norm. Just for further clarity though, the Church does understand the case of an exceptional occasion…

“Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms on Ecumenism,” Pontifical Commission for Promoting Christian Unity on June 8, 1993: “133. The reading of Scripture during a Eucharistic celebration in the Catholic Church is to be done by members of that Church. On exceptional occasions and for a just cause, the Bishop of the diocese may permit a member of another Church or ecclesial Community to take on the task of reader.”
 
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