Having Three kids = Showing Off!

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washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/04/AR2008040403217_pf.html

As the father of four kids ages 8,6,4, and 2 I found this article hilarious.(pathetic but hilarious). It captures so well the materialistic mindset of our culture. Instead of kids being a gift from God and a sacrificial vocation as parents they are now statements of wealth.

The writer would consider anyone with more than 2 kids as a loser unless they were WEALTHY. That’s what i got out of it-what do you think?
 
Actually, the writer was making fun of the silly people who either think that having more than 1 or 2 children is selfish or a status symbol. It was spot on. She stated at the end of the article that she was giving her children the gift of a sibling and not material gifts!

I’m glad I live in the midwest where larger families are easier to have and support (but you get the loods and comments, don’t get me wrong!). Living in NY would be very difficult for large families now a days.
 
i think the author wants to say the opposite - eventhough she and her husband are not rich, they do want to have another child. and she is just commenting how wrong it is to feel that only rich people should raise children because they can afford 70 toys a year, private ballet lessons and harvard.
 
I don’t think the author is condemning parents with large families. I think she supports it. She is trying to make the point that society as a whole considers children accessories and anymore than 2 is a burden.

My wife and I are expecting #3 and we’ve already been treated like we’re insane. “You already have a boy and a girl. Why would you want any more?” They make children analogous with having a pair of shoes- 2 is the ideal number, expicially if you have one of each.
 
like the others have said, the writer is supporting larger families. I just didn’t like the part where she said
“But to me, a family with just two kids seems minimalist, and even a bit sad.”
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Why does she need to put down a two child family in order to make having more seem acceptable? it’s not sad to only have two children. It can be very happy and it has nothing to do with being selfish either.
 
You are all correct. it’s not the writer it’s the attitude that she is exposing. My bad.
 
I do think a lot of people would have another child, only the jump from 2-3 seems daunting. I know it does to me - especially that whole child seat thing. And, we have a two -bedroom house. In this country, houses are smaller. We can put two the boys in the same room forever but if we have another, then we risk having a girl, which would mean we’d have to move within the next five years or so.

People used to raise 12 children in one-room apartments in Glasgow, so I suppose it could be done. Of course, back then, kids ran around outside a lot more.
 
I don’t know if I’ll end up having kids (I might be discerning a call to the convent), but if I do, I’m going with God’s way on that one. I’m not going to buy them a million expensive toys or w/e. I’ll buy them a few that they can play with multiple times and put more money towards college (education is important to me and as of right now, my parents are putting me through school, though I intend to start making contributions next year and of course, I’m taking care of my study abroad expenses).

One of my guy friends always talks about the future kids he wants (so cute, he even has names already) and my household sisters and I have promised to babysit for each other when we have kids! Lol, I can imagine us all raising Catholic families together. That would be pretty sweet. Honestly, I think the 70 some-odd toys these parents are buying for these kids are much more of a “luxury item” than the kids themselves.
 
sanctamaria17 said:
I don’t know if I’ll end up having kids (I might be discerning a call to the convent), but if I do, I’m going with God’s way on that one. I’m not going to buy them a million expensive toys or w/e. I’ll buy them a few that they can play with multiple times and put more money towards college (education is important to me and as of right now, my parents are putting me through school, though I intend to start making contributions next year and of course, I’m taking care of my study abroad expenses).

One of my guy friends always talks about the future kids he wants (so cute, he even has names already) and my household sisters and I have promised to babysit for each other when we have kids! Lol, I can imagine us all raising Catholic families together. That would be pretty sweet. Honestly, I think the 70 some-odd toys these parents are buying for these kids are much more of a “luxury item” than the kids themselves.
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This begs the question…Are parents morally obligated to fund each child’s college tution?
 
Parents are morally obligated to provide their children with whatever they can afford - so long as it is within budget and not ludicrous expenditure!!! College tuition SHOULD always be a given!
 
sanctamaria17 said:
I don’t know if I’ll end up having kids (I might be discerning a call to the convent), but if I do, I’m going with God’s way on that one. I’m not going to buy them a million expensive toys or w/e. I’ll buy them a few that they can play with multiple times and put more money towards college (education is important to me and as of right now, my parents are putting me through school, though I intend to start making contributions next year and of course, I’m taking care of my study abroad expenses).

One of my guy friends always talks about the future kids he wants (so cute, he even has names already) and my household sisters and I have promised to babysit for each other when we have kids! Lol, I can imagine us all raising Catholic families together. That would be pretty sweet. Honestly, I think the 70 some-odd toys these parents are buying for these kids are much more of a “luxury item” than the kids themselves.
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Ahhh…the idealistic musings of the pre-parental set. I just LOVE reading these!!! Rational, frugal toy purchases, communal child care, and if I only had a dime for every time I heard someone say they were starting their kids’ college fund “next year…” Lotsa luck in getting your “household sisters” (!!!) to come forth at 3pm, much less 3am, when you’re each married, scattered and have responsibilities to multiple kids of your own. Pinch yourself, you’re dreamin’!
 
Not necessarily morally but without my parents’ help, I don’t know what I would do. In high school, I took so many classes and was involved in so many things that I had no time to work (or I would have failed said classes). And the thing is, you almost are required to have a college degree.

My family wanted to me to go to the best possible school for what I wanted to do (I wanted something international, hence, I moved to DC). They told me that they’ll help me with loans, etc. but they wanted me to do what I wanted to do and not try and worry about pleasing others. I’m already looking for jobs and paid internships for next year in order to further my independence, I’m designing my own major, and I picked the country I’m doing my abroad experience in. I’ve already decided that I’ll find ways to pay for my time in Italy and I promised to cover books, etc. I take ownership over that, as well as my grades. It would be an entirely different thing if I spent all my time partying, but I’m not the partying type.
 
MommyJJ said:
Parents are morally obligated to provide their children with whatever they can afford - so long as it is within budget and not ludicrous expenditure!!! College tuition SHOULD always be a given!
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My mother couldn’t afford to pay for my college. I paid for college with loans, financial aid, and a part time job. Based on what it costs now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to put my kids thorugh college. I don’t think that makes me a derelict parent.
 
Island_Oak said:
Ahhh…the idealistic musings of the pre-parental set. I just LOVE reading these!!! Rational, frugal toy purchases, communal child care, and if I only had a dime for every time I heard someone say they were starting their kids’ college fund “next year…” Lotsa luck in getting your “household sisters” (!!!) to come forth at 3pm, much less 3am, when you’re each married, scattered and have responsibilities to multiple kids of your own. Pinch yourself, you’re dreamin’!
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Not my kids’ college fund! My own! And we were just kidding around!
 
Island_Oak said:
Ahhh…the idealistic musings of the pre-parental set. I just LOVE reading these!!! Rational, frugal toy purchases, communal child care, and if I only had a dime for every time I heard someone say they were starting their kids’ college fund “next year…” Lotsa luck in getting your “household sisters” (!!!) to come forth at 3pm, much less 3am, when you’re each married, scattered and have responsibilities to multiple kids of your own. Pinch yourself, you’re dreamin’!
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Could you make your point without making fun of Sanctamaria? I’m sure you were just as idealistic when you were younger, and I’m sure that you still have hopes and dreams for your children that may not play out.
 
Thanks, Seeker Jen.

By the way, my sisters are part of a Catholic women’s group I’m in on campus and yes, we are sisters in the spiritual sense of the word. We’ve been there A LOT for each other, even when we are scattered (one is in Germany, one was in Ireland last semester). And when I say a lot, I’m talking about sexual assault, parents dying, etc. While we may not end up having communal babysitting (especially since at least three of us are discerning religious life as a possible vocation), we still will be there for each other, no matter where we are. We’ve already proven it.

OK, sorry for hijacking, but I don’t like it when others make fun of my sisters (and yes, they are, if not biological, and we’re more than just a sorority). They’ve been there for me a lot and helped me when I was going through a lot of tough times and stress this year.
 
SeekerJen said:
Could you make your point without making fun of Sanctamaria? I’m sure you were just as idealistic when you were younger, and I’m sure that you still have hopes and dreams for your children that may not play out.
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Oops…someone has their sense of humor turned off today.
 
I did read this article…it was pretty interesting to see how wealthy Americans in that part of the world view children as “status symbols”, apparently. I don’t know what that is about, but as long as they have lots of kids for whatever reason, I say go for it! 😃 Our birthrate in this country should be higher.
Anyway, I got the definite feeling that the writer was making fun of the materialism involved, as it should be.
We just had a lot of kids, we didn’t stop to figure on how much they cost. Now, twenty-odd years later after paying for Catholic school and what have you, the writer may be right on the cost, but it was sure worth it. My only regret is not having more children!
 
sanctamaria17 said:
Thanks, Seeker Jen.

By the way, my sisters are part of a Catholic women’s group I’m in on campus and yes, we are sisters in the spiritual sense of the word. We’ve been there A LOT for each other, even when we are scattered (one is in Germany, one was in Ireland last semester). And when I say a lot, I’m talking about sexual assault, parents dying, etc. While we may not end up having communal babysitting (especially since at least three of us are discerning religious life as a possible vocation), we still will be there for each other, no matter where we are. We’ve already proven it.

OK, sorry for hijacking, but I don’t like it when others make fun of my sisters (and yes, they are, if not biological, and we’re more than just a sorority). They’ve been there for me a lot and helped me when I was going through a lot of tough times and stress this year.
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Oh good grief…puuleezee lighten up!! Post was meant as a bit of a joke…as in, you’ll get it someday…not an attack on your “sisterhood.”
 
Island_Oak said:
Oops…someone has their sense of humor turned off today.
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Not really. Your post underscored one of the things that I don’t like about these boards; namely, that the “vets” often laugh at those of us who are younger and more idealistic. I’ve seen posts where veteran moms make fun of soon-to-be first time moms’ wishes to outfit their nurseries or to go through labor without drugs, or where older posters imply or outright state that those of us who are younger don’t have valid opinions because we haven’t been alive as long.

This isn’t a competition, and I don’t see any reason to make fun of someone’s hopes and dreams, even if it is meant as a joke.
 
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