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I have been praying for a friend for three years, but more frequently during the last six months.
She has a history of suicidal thoughts and depression, and recently almost attempted suicide until I calmed her down. For long and complicated reasons, her family ARE NOT people she can ever turn to when it comes to dealing with this.
In the last year, she has increasingly turned towards sex and alcohol to find happiness. She left the church long ago, but her family was never that religious to begin with. She does not pray and has no one in her life praying for her (her friends and family are not religious).
She also has emotional problems stemming from her depression and a very traumatic childhood, and frequently kicks people out of her life in a rage. I was her closest friend for years, until she kicked me out for no reason.
But then she always returns when she has hit rock bottom. It’s a terrible cycle. Right now, I’m on the outs with her. I live on the other side of the country for work, so when she kicks me out, I really have no way to contact her since I get blocked everywhere.
I pray for her and am currently in the middle of a St. Dymphna novena. I pray God helps her open her heart to him and the virtues of the Holy Spirit, that she can find the help she needs, that she realizes there are people out there who do care about her.
I have never prayed this hard or constantly for someone before. But the last year, I keep having thoughts pop into my head questioning or discouraging me from praying for her when I pray.
What is going on?
They are starting to happen daily when I pray for her. They always include:
I am also aware that God cannot interfere with a person’s free will, that we are asked to pray for others, that he answers our prayers on his terms if he decides answering them is best at all and requires patience, etc.
But this is starting to really bother me that I keep having these thoughts during the rosary/chaplet and novena.
She has a history of suicidal thoughts and depression, and recently almost attempted suicide until I calmed her down. For long and complicated reasons, her family ARE NOT people she can ever turn to when it comes to dealing with this.
In the last year, she has increasingly turned towards sex and alcohol to find happiness. She left the church long ago, but her family was never that religious to begin with. She does not pray and has no one in her life praying for her (her friends and family are not religious).
She also has emotional problems stemming from her depression and a very traumatic childhood, and frequently kicks people out of her life in a rage. I was her closest friend for years, until she kicked me out for no reason.
But then she always returns when she has hit rock bottom. It’s a terrible cycle. Right now, I’m on the outs with her. I live on the other side of the country for work, so when she kicks me out, I really have no way to contact her since I get blocked everywhere.
I pray for her and am currently in the middle of a St. Dymphna novena. I pray God helps her open her heart to him and the virtues of the Holy Spirit, that she can find the help she needs, that she realizes there are people out there who do care about her.
I have never prayed this hard or constantly for someone before. But the last year, I keep having thoughts pop into my head questioning or discouraging me from praying for her when I pray.
What is going on?
They are starting to happen daily when I pray for her. They always include:
- Why are you praying for someone when you yourself were once very sexually active and still struggle to remain chaste? (Urges my old, promiscuous self do return every now and then)
- Shouldn’t you be praying for yourself right now? You’re no saint.
- It’s unrealistic to think someone this far from the church can have the conversion you’re praying for.
- Were you even trying to pray? (I seem to believe I wasn’t praying hard enough sometimes)
- It’s a waste of time to pray for this person. She has to turn to God on her own free will, so this is pointless.
- This is taking forever. It’s not working.
- You’re tempting the Lord by asking him to answer your prayers for someone.
I am also aware that God cannot interfere with a person’s free will, that we are asked to pray for others, that he answers our prayers on his terms if he decides answering them is best at all and requires patience, etc.
But this is starting to really bother me that I keep having these thoughts during the rosary/chaplet and novena.