Having Trouble Getting To Church

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naomanos6

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I haven’t been to church in three weeks.

Two weeks ago I had my children since they are so young, I will not bring them to church. They will not sit still and there is no cry room. My three year old would be up and down the pew and trying to walk all around. If I try and get her to sit still, she fuss, cry and make a commotion and then try and do the same thing as before I tried to get her to sit. The cycle would just go round and round. I would have to hold my 16 month old and that would make it difficult to control her anyway.

Besides, their mom doesn’t want me bringing them to mass as she does not believe in Catholicism. I have discussed this before in another thread. She is dead set against it and I am not one to make waves with her. I want to keep the peace if only for my kid’s sake as I have mentioned before.

Since I go to church alone, it would be very difficult for me. Last week was the weekend after the divorce and I pretty much just wanted to stay home and do nothing as I worked through those emotions. Didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I did read my Bible and prayed a bit though. Last week was also Father’s Day and since I didn’t have my kids that weekend, I spent time with them after work. By the time I left them, Mass was half way done.

This week, I have my children, I had both yesterday, so Saturday vigil was out and I work on Sunday mornings, and tonight while I only have my daughter, I hurt my back at work and am finding it difficult to move around, especially now that I have relaxed a bit after work. I am trying to rest it so that I don’t lose any time at work since I do not get paid time off and if my unpaid hours drop below 0, I lose my job.

I hate that I haven’t been to church, but when I have the kids I see no way to go. Last week was just me wanting to be introverted while I dealt with how I felt. This week I am injured and it sucks! Next week I will not have the kids, so that will means I can go.

Does God understand? That is what I am most concerned with.
 
Please talk to your priest about your situation and get counsel from him.

Of course God understands when we are unable to get to Mass through no fault of our own.
 
I haven’t been able to get to church either mainly because of car problems. We are in the middle of a heat wave and my car overheats. The temperature reaching 230 degrees! I don’t want my engine to blow. We live outside city limits so it is too expensive to take a taxi and no bus route out here.
I plan on emailing priest and explaining the situation.
 
naomanos6 said:
I haven’t been to church in three weeks.

Two weeks ago I had my children since they are so young, I will not bring them to church. They will not sit still and there is no cry room. My three year old would be up and down the pew and trying to walk all around. If I try and get her to sit still, she fuss, cry and make a commotion and then try and do the same thing as before I tried to get her to sit. The cycle would just go round and round. I would have to hold my 16 month old and that would make it difficult to control her anyway.

Besides, their mom doesn’t want me bringing them to mass as she does not believe in Catholicism. I have discussed this before in another thread. She is dead set against it and I am not one to make waves with her. I want to keep the peace if only for my kid’s sake as I have mentioned before.

Since I go to church alone, it would be very difficult for me. Last week was the weekend after the divorce and I pretty much just wanted to stay home and do nothing as I worked through those emotions. Didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I did read my Bible and prayed a bit though. Last week was also Father’s Day and since I didn’t have my kids that weekend, I spent time with them after work. By the time I left them, Mass was half way done.

This week, I have my children, I had both yesterday, so Saturday vigil was out and I work on Sunday mornings, and tonight while I only have my daughter, I hurt my back at work and am finding it difficult to move around, especially now that I have relaxed a bit after work. I am trying to rest it so that I don’t lose any time at work since I do not get paid time off and if my unpaid hours drop below 0, I lose my job.

I hate that I haven’t been to church, but when I have the kids I see no way to go. Last week was just me wanting to be introverted while I dealt with how I felt. This week I am injured and it sucks! Next week I will not have the kids, so that will means I can go.

Does God understand? That is what I am most concerned with.
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I see God being very harsh with you indeed. He will have no compassion for your situation, nor any mitigation in your very real desire to attend Mass as required. What nonsense.
It is important that we recognise our duty to attend Mass. However, this has to be balanced with the exigencies of life. I have not been to Mass for a long time due to illness. I expect my God to measure my oxygen tubing and realise that I won’t make it. Just as he will recognise your emotional stresses; your need to work; and your need to consider your heath in controlling a number of small children.
My only suggestion might be to gain assistance from someone in the Parish to assist you in controlling your children whilst allowing their right to attend Mass which must be a consideration even if it is hard.
Mention it to your priest in confession, but don’t beat yourself up. There will be enough people who will do that for you, all insistent that you attend Mass at any cost.
 
Petaro said:
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My only suggestion might be to gain assistance from someone in the Parish to assist you in controlling your children whilst allowing their right to attend Mass which must be a consideration even if it is hard.
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I think it should be clarified that the children do not have any obligation to attend Mass until they are about 7, just in case the words quoted above could be interpreted to mean that they do have to. Presumably you meant the person helping the OP?
 
paperwight66 said:
I think it should be clarified that the children do not have any obligation to attend Mass until they are about 7, just in case the words quoted above could be interpreted to mean that they do have to. Presumably you meant the person helping the OP?
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I have never thought of attending Mass as an obligation, more as a right. Sorry.
 
Petaro said:
I have never thought of attending Mass as an obligation, more as a right. Sorry.
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Oh, absolutely!

It’s just that several times I have seen parents on these forums getting very anxious that they can’t get their young children to Mass, and worrying that the children have an obligation to go and so they, as parents, are sinning by not taking them, and causing the children to sin as well.

I just thought it worth clarifying that young children are not obliged to go to Mass. I don’t know where the idea that they are has come from, or that families are supposed to all attend at the same time. This is not Church teaching.
 
I would say that, even if you don’t really want to go to Mass because you feel so sad and depressed, it does help to go. Even if you find yourself not properly disposed for Communion, just being there will get you graces from God. It will also help your depression, because following routines is important when you are depressed. You can probably find a “lurking area” or stand in the back, if you don’t feel up to sitting in a normal pew, but at least go.
 
Mintaka said:
I would say that, even if you don’t really want to go to Mass because you feel so sad and depressed, it does help to go. Even if you find yourself not properly disposed for Communion, just being there will get you graces from God. It will also help your depression, because following routines is important when you are depressed. You can probably find a “lurking area” or stand in the back, if you don’t feel up to sitting in a normal pew, but at least go.
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Thank you.

Just spending time with my kids on Father’s Day was enough to lift my spirits!
 
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