Having trouble living with family

[NguyenKimPhat]

Dear CAF

I truly love my family and we have always prayed together. However, sometimes, when we fight or I feel hurt by one of my family members, there is this overwhelming feeling inside my heart to leave my home and go away to live by myself.

I feel as if I am being selfish because there must be sacrifice to be a part of any community… and I know in my head that I need to learn humility and die to myself. However, I don’t want this anymore. I’m tired of the constant fighting and yelling. I want to be alone.

I don’t know what to do in this situation. I’m tired. I don’t want to sin against God. Whatever is God’s will, I will do it, no matter what. I will always submit to God’s will in my life, but I don’t know what it is. How sinful is it to desire to leave one’s family. How awful is this desire.

Please help me. please give me advice.

 

[ACanthony]

Hello there. I hope I can provide some support in this post. What you are describing is not easy in the least! The ones we love the most can also hurt us the most too. There are so many broken homes and that ultimately is the work of the devil because I know the devil wants to end families. We must pray and then pray some more. I am not saying anyone in a broken home or a home that fights often is evil, but the discord present in families today is certainly a working of the evil one.

I think in families it is very important to forgive. And when we forgive and then get hurt again, we must, you got it, forgive. Keep forgiving and keep praying for patience and peace and to love God and your family more and more. This is not easy and in many ways it is a spiritual and physical and also emotional battle.

On a spiritual level, know that if you offer up the suffering, it will draw you closer to Christ. Pray to God and to St. Joseph, patron saint of families. Pray for peace and more wisdom as well. On a physical level, practice patience, and when there is fighting, are you bringing your worries immediately to Christ? Or are you bringing them to Christ after hours or days of fighting? We must practice the ability to persevere in prayer, that is, to pray even during tough times. It is very easy to love during easy times. Even the pagans do that. We must learn to love and forgive in tough times too. Once again, I am not discounting the amount of fighting that is in your household and I’m quite sure it is very painful for you. You also must do whatever you can for yourself to stay mentally aware and at peace. In tough times, maybe drive to a chapel? Go for a walk. Do something to distract yourself. Do anything positive. Oftentimes, it is not the reasons for the anger in the families, but rather the consequences from the anger that get us in big trouble.

Keep praying to St. Joseph. Carry this as your cross and pray also to the Blessed Mother for strength to carry your cross. It is not easy. You will inevitably fall while carrying the cross. Christ fell while carrying His, but He got up and He got up and He eventually died on the cross and rose from the dead. In our tough times, we must not look to the weight of the cross but rather the strength of the One who carried His cross for us.

May God give you and your family much peace and happiness.

 

[Catholic1954]

If you are over 18 and can afford it, you should think about moving out on your own. It is nice to live with family, but you also need to go out into the world and live your own life. It will raise your relationship with your family to a more mature, adult level.

 

[HolyRosaryChild]

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++

God’s Spirit is in my heart,
He has called me and set me apart.
This is what I have to do,
what I have to do.

He sent me to give the Good News to the poor,
Tell prisoners that they are prisoners no more,
Tell blind people that they can see,
And set the downtrodden free
And go tell everyone the news that the Kingdom of God has come,
And go tell everyone the news that the Kingdom of God has come.

Just as the Father sent me,
So I’m sending you out to be
My witnesses throughout the world,
The whole of the world.

Don’t worry what you have to say,
Don’t worry because on that day
God’s Spirit will speak in your heart,
Will speak in your heart.

 

[leeleea]

I can so relate, but don’t have any easy answers either. We are here together for some reason, but I don’t understand why it must be so hard, so often. I, too, can no longer take the yelling an disrespect.

I have seen a counselor about these things and I have been told to focus more on myself and to take care of my family the best I can, but realize that some things that people in the family do will not change.

Good luck to you. I will share what I can of what I experience. Perhaps it can help.