Having trouble with NFP..please help!

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Corki said:
In a perfect world, there would be nothing stopping a naturally fertile couple from having 20 kids. But we don’t live in a perfect world and there are many good reasons to delay having another child, including financial.
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Even in a perfect world I would not want 20 kids.
 
Try Iusenfp.com. They have good overviews of the different methods of NFP and they can point you to some good resources. It sounds like you need to try some different NFP methods. There is a method of NFP out there for everyone. It sounds like you have been using one that isn’t for you.
 
I want to pipe in and second the Marquette recommendation. You will probably be abstaining about 13-14 days per cycle when the cycles become regulated, but there is a lot less guesswork (and thus less pressure on your wife when it comes to interpretation). I bought my monitor secondhand for less than $100, and test sticks will be about $10 per month.

Also, the forum at nfp.marquette.edu has information on how to begin, and has a doctor and nurse who will answer your questions almost immediately if needed.
 
abstract123 said:
My wife and I really don’t want anymore children after the 3rd one and we just can’t get this NFP thing right. It’s not working for us. We’re still very young and if we keep going at this rate, we’ll have 20 kids.
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We KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!! After we converted we had three kids in three years, and were desperate to find a better way that still conformed to our Catholic faith. Fortunately we came up a method of augmenting the sympto-thermal method we were using. We call it the LH Method. You can take look www.OurNFPBlog.com
 
abstract123 said:
Which part contradicts? We can afford to have more children. We choose not to. I’m sure that any family who has 10 kids would be in a financial situation.

You’re right, I don’t know if we’re doing NFP right, or if we’re using the right methods, but do we really want to take that chance of my wife getting pregnant again? Sure, one more wouldn’t hurt, but we both agree that we do not want more children.

So, on the “rare” cases that NFP is not successful, then what to couples do? Cope with it?
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Yes, the couple finds a way to cope with it. What is a couple to do in instances in which hormonal contraceptives fail? Or the very rare cases in which sterilization fails? If a woman still has her reproductive organs, she can still get pregnant, no matter how many precautions you have taken.

Do you believe the method has failed you (in other words, you followed the rules and she still got pregnant), or are you finding periodic abstinence too difficult?
 
The_Bucket said:
The truth is that you’re going to have to seriously bolster your knowledge of NFP. If she breastfeeds then learn all about LAM. It’s pretty easy and highly effective. In most cases that gives you six months but not always. You’ll understand when you read up on LAM.

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LAM seems to either work fairly well, or it doesn’t at all. In my case (5 children), I get 11-15 months of infertility, which has been perfect spacing for me. I have at two friends, however, who get nothing. Each one has had a return to fertility at 6 weeks, with multiple children. One of them was even nursing 2 babies (10 month old and newborn) when her fertility returned. Yes, following all the rules of the method.
 
There is an application on Droid and iPhones called the free menstrual calendar. You (name removed by moderator)ut your menstruation days and it will tell you when you are probably fertile. You will need to chart for a few months for it to recognize the fertility cycle. Truthfully, the period of time you can get pregnant in the month is very small. We took natural family planning classes and in conjunction with the free menstrual calendar we have not gotten pregnant in almost 2 years. Natural family planning does work if you do carefully follow the guidelines.
 
I have two thoughts on your post. One, I find it highly unlikely that a couple would become pregnant three times in such a short about of time while using a legitimate NFP method, so I’m wondering which method you are using and whether you both are attending the training involved and following the method properly. You should probably reconsider what method you are using and how you are using it, just as one would if they were using the pill and it failed. No one can explain why your method failed over the internet, but your trainer ought to be able to give you some insight of what you are doing wrong if you let him see your charts. My second thought assumes that you believe you are following your wife’s readings accurately. I hope I’m not being insensitive, but are you putting alot of pressure on your wife regarding whether a day is usable or not? You don’t need to answer on the forums, but it is something to think about. It is really stressful for a woman to have to be the “boss” of the chart and tell her husband that it’s a white sticker night if he acts upset or overly disappointed. Sometimes, she might find it easier to say, “Well, I was pretty dry…and it’s only day five…I’m probably not that fertile” or something along those lines in order to avoid upseting or disappointing her husband. If you think this might be playing a part in the ineffectiveness of your NFP, you might consider having a talk with your wife about it.
 
My husband and I have serious reasons for using NFP. I would agree with the other posters that NFP, when practiced correctly, is very effective. My suspicion is that you and your wife are not practicing it correctly. No offense at all is meant, it’s just that it seems clear that three unplanned pregnancies (resulting in beautiful children!) is just too unlikely to happen when NFP is practiced correctly. I’ve used the Creighton Method. I’m sure your local Catholic Church (well, I hope) would be able to instruct. We went through pre-Cana in India, and the priest was very helpful at explaining NFP.
I’ll keep you in my prayers!
 
Hi - I think I can help as the great support for natural family planning methods is Lady-Comp - I use this great device and it’s really effective and good 🙂 It has 99,3 % of reliability and it is very easy to use…- so the effectiveness is even higher than contraception pills and IUDs, which are not only very invasive to our bodies but also act as abortifacients 😦 how: while using them, you can still have “breakthrough ovulation”, which occurs in millions of women each year. You can still conceive a baby, who because of synthetic hormones cannot attach to the uterine lining and dies! The pill’s third mechanism is to change the lining of the endometrium (the lining of the womb), which creates a hostile environment for a newly created human being. The tiny baby cannot implant and is spontaneously aborted by the body - similar mechanism works in case of IUD, like coils, Mirena, etc.

Just google Lady-Comp family planning monitor - and you will see local distirbutors list 🙂 It is quite popular even among non religious couples, because of effectiveness…I recommend it too…

Good Luck
 
Try the Marquette method. No guessing at all. You will know when you are ovulating by using the ovulation monitor. You just need to follow the rules for avoiding pregnancy. It works and your marriage will be blessed.
 
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