He cheated and she is pregnant. Now what?

[SurlyMermaid]

What the other posters say. Please meet with your priest privately and be as honest as you can.

I grieve for what you’re going through. You have our prayers and support.

:hug1:

 

[Luvz2travel]

As a person whose husband was unfaithful the very first year of our marriage, I can only advise you to get out now. I do not believe in divorce, but how can a marriage be valid when there is infidelity from the start? You can and should forgive, but that does not mean you have to take him back. He is a serial offender and is not yet willing to change because he called the girl again, after you threatened divorce. Don’t delude yourself, there is very little chance he will change. If you decide to stay, he must prove to you he is willing to change. You must require big things, like giving up his cell phone and computer for a period of time, etc. things that are sacrificial so you know he means business. I will say a rosary for you tonight.

I’m not married so I really have no advice but if it were me I would have been gone long ago. I wouldn’t have the patience you seem to have. Also the poor kid has nothing to do with it so don’t blame the child. Are your responsible for any of the mistakes your parents made? I would look into an annulment such blatant cheating shows an inability to make any kind of commitment. Is it possible he has a sex addition or is he just totally self absorbed?

 

[constantconvert]

I’m not married so I really have no advice but if it were me I would have been gone long ago. I wouldn’t have the patience you seem to have. Also the poor kid has nothing to do with it so don’t blame the child. Are your responsible for any of the mistakes your parents made? I would look into an annulment such blatant cheating shows an inability to make any kind of commitment. Is it possible he has a sex addition or is he just totally self absorbed?

You’re talking to the OP, right? Or are you talking to me?

 

[Winter_Warlock_1]

Tornaaado,

I am so sorry to read your story, I will pray for you. I may come across as being angry for I have experience with this also. My ex-wife also cheated on me after 15 years of marriage. She told the other guy that she loved him and wanted to marry him – wanted him to leave his wife as he was also married – had unprotected sex with him – even while we were in counseling.

I know what the Church teaches and I will file for an annulment but I also place the laws of God and the teachings of Jesus first. God’s laws of “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s spouse” and “Thou shall not commit adultery”. And Jesus teachings in Matthew 19.9 “I tell you that if a man divorces his wife, except for adultery, and marries another he commits adultery himself” , which shows how serious adultery.

What really disturbs me also is that you state that he had already cheated on you before your second anniversary and even afterwards. He says he does not want to divorce yet it seems that he does not want to be faithful you also. I also talked to my Priest, my ex went once got very angry with Father and refused to go again since my Priest did not tell me to just “forgive and get over it and stay with her”. My wife also told me that she did not want a divorce because she did not want to be alone. Not that she wanted to stay faithful and married to me but that she did not want to live alone.

Every situation and relationship is different, and everyone responds differently and you must make the decision that is best for you. Again I am so sorry that you are going through this, no one should ever. I will pray for you.

May God Bless and Keep you.
Stay strong and remember that you are never alone.

Winter

 

[maltmom]

Every situation and relationship is different, and everyone responds differently and you must make the decision that is best for you.

This is true. From the time I went on my 1st date at 15 I always said there were 2 things that no man would ever get a 2nd chance from me if they did. One was hitting me and the other was cheating. Obviously my ex-husband thought I was joking. He thought he’d leave for a month or two and come back. That was until 4 days after he left I called and told him I’d filed for divorce and that it would be final in 6 months…have a nice life.

 

[Zelie_Louis]

Some issues are beyond the scope of CAF. Please discuss with your priest individually and allow him to guide you.