He cheated on her with me

[LemmeThink4aSec]

I also did it because he gave me oral sex first, and I didn’t want him to be the only guilty one in the situation.

Sorry I’m back, but this was on my mind. Even if you had NOT given oral sex back to him, you would still be just as ‘guilty in the situation’. Him, for doing it to you, you, for accepting it and letting him. It takes two in the first place, you didn’t have to do it back just to “even it out”, you were already even.

Also, pray for him, but leave him. For now. It seems like you succumb to temptation a bit easily around him (which is normal), but you have to understand your weaknesses and avoid situations that will test you. It’s hard, but c’mon, you owe it to yourself and to God to cut off contact with this guy.

Keep him in your prayers, it’s WAY more efficient than talking to him about this all the time. Tell him what you want and what you’re gunna do, but after that, if he doesn’t respect your wishes, leave.

I know you’re upset that he doesn’t see this as “wrong” like the way you do, but loads of people don’t think bad things are wrong sometimes, that’s why we have disagreements. If you can’t change his mind, offer up prayers, they’re more efficient anyway, don’t spend too much of your life trying to change him, especially if it causes you to sin. Let God take over. Be a real friend and pray.

 

[Mistaken]

I will pray for him and hope that will work.
Even though most people are telling me to stop talking to him, I don’t know if I can right now. I still want to talk to him and be his friend, but I do not want to do anything sexual with him. If he ever breaks up with his girlfriend, I would still want to try things again, but I just want to be his friend.

 

[AlTheCollegeGal]

I will pray for him and hope that will work.
Even though most people are telling me to stop talking to him, I don’t know if I can right now. I still want to talk to him and be his friend, but I do not want to do anything sexual with him. If he ever breaks up with his girlfriend, I would still want to try things again, but I just want to be his friend.

“Try things again” meaning friends with benefits once more? This guy does not respect you as a person, and I think that breaking off the friendship is extremely important for your own peace of mind as well as your relationship with God. I would suggest that you also have a talk with your priest, because premarital sex is always wrong, regardless of whether one person is cheating on another. You need to be with someone who respects your inherent dignity as a person, and that comes from valuing you as a person, rather than your body.

 

[Metropolis]

I will pray for him and hope that will work.
Even though most people are telling me to stop talking to him, I don’t know if I can right now. I still want to talk to him and be his friend, but I do not want to do anything sexual with him. If he ever breaks up with his girlfriend, I would still want to try things again, but I just want to be his friend.

There are some problems with keeping in contact. As you have said earlier, you can’t seem to say no to him. If he thinks there was nothing wrong with what you two did, why wouldn’t he try to get you to do it again? He will probably try to get you to do sexual things again and since you have troubles saying no to him, it will probably happen again. This man does not have respect or love for you. He just wants to take advantage of you because, well he can. He can also keep his girlfriend too. It is best for you, him, and his girlfriend to cut things off totally. How would you feel if you were his girlfriend and found out your boyfriend cheated on you and still keeps in contact with the woman he cheated on you with? Don’t be naive, don’t let him manipulate you.

If you are worried if you can be forgiven, why would you want to put yourself in compromising situations? God will forgive you if you truly repent of what you did. You need to take that extra step though and make sure it doesn’t happen again. This event will repeat itself if you let it. Don’t let it.

 

[CopticChristian]

I was friends with this guy and we were friends with benefits.
He started talking to another girl, and they recently started dating.
Even though he started dating someone else, he still wanted me and I still wanted him.
**I told myself though **and him that I don’t and won’t cheat or homewreck (when you tell someone to break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend).

We hung out last night, and** I honestly did not want to do anything** with him and **I went over his house **not intending on doing anything. But I have had the problem for a few years now that I am not assertive and I don’t stand up for myself, even when I need to. I put other people first and try to please everyone else around me. So because I had a **hard time saying no to him, **we ended up giving each other oral sex.
**Part of the reason **why I did it was because I was laying in his bed and he was telling me that we were already being bad by being in the same bed together, so it probably wouldn’t hurt any more if we just gave each other oral sex. I also did it because he gave me oral sex first, and I didn’t want him to be the only guilty one in the situation.

I feel so horrible and sad and guilty, and he doesn’t. I am planning on going to confession and talking to my priest about it, and I want to do plenary indulgences. **I did not want this happening, I did not plan on doing anything with him, I just have a hard time being assertive. He was the one who wanted to do things, and I couldn’t say no. **How bad is this? Does God hate me now? Will he ever forgive me? Will going to confession and doing plenary indulgences help?

Mistaken,

God loves you, I love you, your family loves you…I question your love of self.

Self Talk appears not to cause you to act in ways that are pleasing.

Knowing your honest intentions, knowing your difficulty saying no and knowing that you are influenced by another in making decisions to act should cause you to reflect.

You feel horrible and he doesn’t suggests that you have different values and that should be a clue as to what this friend thinks. Loving someone is intending in your actions that you lead someone to God. Ask yourself if his love for you or your love for him satisfies that?

I love chocolate. If I have chocolate in the home I cannot stop eating it. I know that if I eat if I will feel bad, get a dizzy feeling, want more and then feel guilty about eating it. I don’t buy it, I don’t have it in the house and then I don’t concern myself with having to decide if I will eat it or not.

Imagine that you have the ability and you do to do all you need to do to solve this problem and if you put as much effort into figuring out how to avoid this situation as you did in engaging in this situation you will find a way to change.

My prayers are with you.