He is catholic...she is not

[meghandsheamas]

i am not currently a catholic. i have been going to a protestant/foursquare church as far as denominations go…

my ex fiance, is a reborn catholic now. we want to put our family back together (we have a son who is almost one year old). should we marry, does this mean i need to become catholic? what does this entail? are there many types of catholicism?

 

[LilyM]

Ask him what he wants exactly. Does he want to marry? Does he want you to move in together?

More importantly, what do YOU want? It would be a very bad idea indeed to marry or live together just for the sake of your son. The only reason to get married or move in together is that you love HIM and want to marry him and live with him.

You don’t need to be married or live together for him to be a good and active father or have a good family. But if you do decide that you love him and want to marry him, you don’t need to become Catholic, although you do need to agree to allow your son to be instructed and brought up in the Catholic faith. Doesn’t mean you can’t also teach him about your faith.

And you would need to marry in a Catholic church, although that could be a very simple low-key ceremony, and possibly if you want your own pastor you might be able to get permission for a concelebrated ceremony with both your pastors present.

There are a few different groups (‘rites’) within the Catholic Church, but all hold essentially to the same beliefs if that’s what you want to know. Again, the only reason to become Catholic is that you want it for yourself, and not just for your fiance or son’s sake.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

i am not currently a catholic. i have been going to a protestant/foursquare church as far as denominations go… Well hi there and welcome aboard.

my ex fiance, is a reborn catholic now. Wonderful. we want to put our family back together (we have a son who is almost one year old). should we marry, does this mean i need to become catholic? Nope. Sure don’t. But your fiance is obligated to first consult with his priest regarding marriage. There’s paperwork, and he needs a dispensation from his bishop to marry you. These are usually granted if you haven’t ever been married before. what does this entail? Now if you want to become a Catholic, because you believe the Catholic Church is the One, Holy, Apostolic and True Church, when you go to talk with the priest, mention that. You will be enrolled in Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA). Depending where you are in life (baptized or not) and your diocese’s rules, depends on how long you are in RCIA. are there many types of catholicism? Thankfully, no. That’s the short answer. There are differnet Churches (with a capital C), 23 of them. They use different methods of liturgical worship, but they all come to the same conclusion: Christ left the Church (as a whole, all those 23 Churches) in the charge of the Pope. If you’re looking at a parish (what you would think of as a church), and they aren’t registered or known by the diocese, including the various Eastern Churches (Maronite, Romanian, Byzantine, etc.- because the diocese will know OF them), then the odds are good they aren’t Catholic. They might practice their liturgy the same as Roman Catholics or close to it. They might wear vestments and even use incense. Those are not what make a parish Catholic.

 

[BamaRider]

Putting your family together is a good thing, and should be the #1 priority in y’alls life. That can mean many things, like jobs, place to live, etc.

I know its cliche but put together a solid foundation, to help you build for later on. Now to answer your questions.

Should we marry?

Yes. But do it for the right reasons, or you could make a bad situation worse. Have the problems worked out that broke y’all up in the first place? Your wife’s return to the Chruch is probably the driving force behind her reconcilation with her baby’s father. A good thing.

You can marry in the Church if there are no problems such as ex spouses. Currently having a baby will not be a factor.

You don’t have to become Catholic, but please be open to it. It will put everyone on the same page. But not just that, She is the true Church Jesus left us.

Becoming Catholic means going to classes once a week for about 6 months, but there are other ways. Those being some kind of one on one instruction. These classes will only give you the basics of the Faith, you will never stop learning.

Are there different types of Catholicism? Not really, but it is way complicated to explain. The short version is the Church is split East-West. Each recognize the other’s line of Apostolic succession. The dominant Catholic Rite in the world is the Roman or Western Church, it is led by Pope Benedict, I’ll assume the Church of your fiance.

Good luck with your journey. If y’all want this to work, it will.

 

[meghandsheamas]

thank you to all who responded. i truly appreciate it. i am a christian…just do not consider myself catholic.

not sure i will convert to catholicism…i’m content where i’m at but i am wondering if the contemporary worship in the modern fundie christian churches is a self-ish thing going on… ie. having cafe’s and tables to sit at during service/worship with coffee in ample amounts…rock and roll style worship… etc. not sure i agree w/ it all. sure, it is comfortable and fun…but really is it about ‘us’ and how fun it is? i am not sure…contemplating…praying about it…

scary to even think of moving to Mn from Or to have my son be by his father and my daughter to be by him as well (he is not her father biologically but he is like her daddy…her own bio father is not in the picture…he’s bad news) despite not knowing if our family will be restored as a whole in one dwelling.

praying…asking god to direct me in the way He wants me to go…

 

[kage_ar]

Study the differences in what your denomination preaches and the beliefs of the Catholic church.

The website www.foursquarechurch.org does not have quick to find answers on abortion, birth control, marriage, divorce, etc.

Your beliefs do differ on the Eucharist, Scripture, etc. I’d suggest you pick up a copy of “Catholicism for Dummies” - it will give you good overview of the beliefs and doctrines of the Catholic Church.

Prayers for your baby!!

 

[melensdad]

i am not currently a catholic. i have been going to a protestant/foursquare church as far as denominations go…

my ex fiance, is a reborn catholic now. we want to put our family back together (we have a son who is almost one year old). should we marry, does this mean i need to become catholic? what does this entail? are there many types of catholicism?

I am Catholic. My wife is Episcopalian. Our daughter is being raised Catholic. We attend the Catholic Church, although there are times when my wife does not attend. You will have to decide how to raise your son, agree to that now or you will have a long term problem.

You do not ‘need’ to become Catholic. In the case of my family, the Roman Catholic and the various Anglican churches are very similar in rites and practices so my wife has no plans to become Catholic, and she is basically comfortable in the Catholic mass since it is very very similar to the masses she attended in her youth. We have no Episcopalian church in our community so it was easy to make the choice not to attend that church. We also reviewed the public school system in our town and found it lacking, my wife, a public school teacher, found the little Catholic school to be her first choice. So again, in our family, there were several things that made it easy to choose the Catholic way for our daughter. In fact we are friends with many in the parish, and we are also friends with our priest, even he did not realize that my wife was not Catholic . . . it came out in a casual conversation with him one evening when we took him out for dinner.

As for ‘different types of Catholicism’ technically “yes” in a very broad sense (see the post above about the 23 different Churches) but you may find that it is a practical “no.” There various “branches” are in full communion with Rome, it is not always easy to find one unless you are in a large population area. What you may find, however, is that each parish in your area will have a different personality and you may find one that suits you more than another. It may just be the style of the Priest or the size of the church community, but you may find one that is more suited to your needs than another.

Best of luck with your search and your journey.

 

[4Squarebaby]

Study the differences in what your denomination preaches and the beliefs of the Catholic church.

The website www.foursquarechurch.org does not have quick to find answers on abortion, birth control, marriage, divorce, etc.

I agree, I haven’t been to the website in years but it wasn’t the easiest design. On those issues the ICFG and Catholic Churches are basically the same. Infant baptisms and the Eucharist versus communion are the major differences in belief. The order of the worship service can be as far apart as Christians can go and the couple may be bored or can’t believe what is happening at the others service. Although I hear from the older generation in church that they miss the old days when there were more outward pentecostal/charismatic manifestations during services.

Your beliefs do differ on the Eucharist, Scripture, etc. I’d suggest you pick up a copy of “Catholicism for Dummies” - it will give you good overview of the beliefs and doctrines of the Catholic Church.

Prayers for your baby!!

I got that book, That’s what I did. A google search of pentecostal/Catholic relationships brought me to a thread on a Nigerian message board. I guess when the google bot sees this another hit will be listed.

 

[puzzleannie]

i am not currently a catholic. i have been going to a protestant/foursquare church as far as denominations go…

my ex fiance, is a reborn catholic now. we want to put our family back together (we have a son who is almost one year old). should we marry, does this mean i need to become catholic? what does this entail? are there many types of catholicism?

no, if you wish to marry in the Catholic Church, for the sake of the spiritual well-being of the Catholic partner, the non-Catholic partner is not required to become Catholic. The Catholic party must promise to do all in his power to raise your children as Catholics, bring them to the sacraments, teach the faith etc. You will be required to make no promise, but must be advised of the responsibilities of the Catholic party.

When your children are ready for baptism or other sacraments, you will probably be invited to participate in classes for parents, to learn more about what they will be receiving. Your fiance may be receiving instruction if he needs his first communion or confirmation, and you will be invited–never required–to attend those classes and find out more about his faith.

You will also be expected to attend marriage preparation classes. These will answer most or all of your questions on Catholic teaching on marriage and family.

Welcome, and congratulations for working together to build a solid family. We will be praying for all of you.