He refused communion

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klriggins1

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My son’s first communion was last Sunday. I was so excited and proud of him, prepared for it accordingly. We went up for our turn, my son was given his, and then my priest shook his head and refused me. No blessing, nothing. My son was confused, as was I, and we kind of stumbled to the side and went back to our seats. Then I watched him do it to another parent…

Obviously I’m not perfect. I’m divorced, and I’m a single mother. I go to mass, I go to confession,I live alone, and I raise my kids like I’m supposed to. I really dont know what I did wrong… :confused:
 
You would really have to ask the priest. And you should – you have a right to know.
 
klriggins1 said:
My son’s first communion was last Sunday. I was so excited and proud of him, prepared for it accordingly. We went up for our turn, my son was given his, and then my priest shook his head and refused me. No blessing, nothing. My son was confused, as was I, and we kind of stumbled to the side and went back to our seats. Then I watched him do it to another parent…

Obviously I’m not perfect. I’m divorced, and I’m a single mother. I go to mass, I go to confession,I live alone, and I raise my kids like I’m supposed to. I really dont know what I did wrong… :confused:
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klriggins, neither does anyone around here. Only your priest can explain what happened. May God bless you abundantly and grant you peace.
 
WOW…you would have thought the priest would have spoke with you in private before mass or something? I would ask him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
Please talk to the priest, and try not to take it personally.
 
Of course, we don’t know for sure unless you ask the priest.

One question: If you are divorced, but not remarried, and go to confession, you should be able to receive, right? I ask to clarify my understanding.

In any case, God bless you and congratulations to your son on his First Communion.

In Christ,
Bryan
 
klriggins1 said:
My son’s first communion was last Sunday. I was so excited and proud of him, prepared for it accordingly. We went up for our turn, my son was given his, and then my priest shook his head and refused me. No blessing, nothing. My son was confused, as was I, and we kind of stumbled to the side and went back to our seats. Then I watched him do it to another parent…

Obviously I’m not perfect. I’m divorced, and I’m a single mother. I go to mass, I go to confession,I live alone, and I raise my kids like I’m supposed to. I really dont know what I did wrong… :confused:
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You waited two days and then asked an anonymous discussion board why you were refused communion?

What on earth did you think we could possibly do for you?
 
[edited]

To the OP, like everyone else said, you really do need to talk to your priest as he is the only one that can provide you with an explaination.
 
klriggins1 said:
My son’s first communion was last Sunday. I was so excited and proud of him, prepared for it accordingly. We went up for our turn, my son was given his, and then my priest shook his head and refused me. No blessing, nothing. My son was confused, as was I, and we kind of stumbled to the side and went back to our seats. Then I watched him do it to another parent…

Obviously I’m not perfect. I’m divorced, and I’m a single mother. I go to mass, I go to confession,I live alone, and I raise my kids like I’m supposed to. I really dont know what I did wrong… :confused:
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I’m sorry this happened to you and was handled in this way. I had a similar experience happen to a family member during her daughters first communion, and it was a very hurtful experience. We do know why she was refused, but the priest should have talked to her before the ceremony and not just “spring” it on her during the ceremony. I hope you get a good explanation (and apology for handling it the way he did) from your priest.
 
[edited]

Thank you for the responses that were understanding ~ I was completely mortified, as was my son. I’ve been upset about it, and I don’t know how to explain to the little guy what happened.

I do have a phone call into the priest, but he has yet to return the call.
 
Since you’d just like an idea of maybe why, let me take a stab at it. 😉

During Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday Mass when folks are brought into the Church, the priest at our parish brings them up first to receive Eucharist before anyone else.

This may be the case for your priest. He may have been reserving the first reception of Eucharist for the children receiving First Communion. Perhaps he just forgot to mention it and realized it at the last minute and tried to politely-yet-akwardly fix the problem.

I am sure your priest will be able to explain it. I pray the Lord pours out an abundance of peace about it for you. 🙂
 
Rainaldo said:
You waited two days and then asked an anonymous discussion board why you were refused communion?

What on earth did you think we could possibly do for you?
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:doh2:
Maybe she felt confused, upset for her child, angry, sad, or some or all of these.

Maybe she’s figuring things out before she takes the next step.

Maybe she’s gauging whether she is mistaken or in the wrong before she decides what to do.
 
Chris_Etzel said:
During Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday Mass when folks are brought into the Church, the priest at our parish brings them up first to receive Eucharist before anyone else.
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Maybe that’s the answer. My wife and I attended a first holy communion this past Saturday, instructions were given prior to mass that the children would receive first, and THEN everybody else. Between the high noise level and late arrivals, this instruction was obviously not heard by everybody and much confusion ensued.

In other words, perhaps you could have accompanied your son back to his seat, and then gotten back on line and received communion.
 
Chris_Etzel said:
Since you’d just like an idea of maybe why, let me take a stab at it. 😉

During Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday Mass when folks are brought into the Church, the priest at our parish brings them up first to receive Eucharist before anyone else.

This may be the case for your priest. He may have been reserving the first reception of Eucharist for the children receiving First Communion. Perhaps he just forgot to mention it and realized it at the last minute and tried to politely-yet-akwardly fix the problem.

I am sure your priest will be able to explain it. I pray the Lord pours out an abundance of peace about it for you. 🙂
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I think this is possible. But it seems strange it was not arranged clearly.

My son had his first communion on Sunday and the children were seated in the first pews, making it clear they would go first.

Anyway, if you feel awkward asking the priest perhaps you could figure out how to use this example to inquire discreetly. 😉

good luck and God bless
 
The only reason I’ve ever seen a priest deny communion to anyone was when they were living in open sin. This is why everyone here is encouraging you to ask the priest. In the other case the lady who was denied communion was divorced as well, but she was also living with another man. She was unapologetic about it and had no intentions of doing anything to rectify the situation. I’ve never seen a priest do it lightly.

Now the other question is… was he only giving communion to the students first? At our church we make the little ones come up first, so that they can get the ‘new’ hosts, and then the rest of the congregation (which is usually very large) come up to the normal communion lines. If you guys were near the end of the line and he didn’t have enough hosts for everyone and the kids that were left, then it’s possible he was trying to conserve them for the first communicants in order to make sure they got theirs.
 
Ok, well this is just getting kookie. :rolleyes: I think the obvious bottom-line non-“maybe” answer here is just to ask your priest why he refused you communion. That simple. 🤷 Lemme know how it goes, God bless… 👍
 
Convert95 said:
Maybe that’s the answer. My wife and I attended a first holy communion this past Saturday, instructions were given prior to mass that the children would receive first, and THEN everybody else. Between the high noise level and late arrivals, this instruction was obviously not heard by everybody and much confusion ensued.

In other words, perhaps you could have accompanied your son back to his seat, and then gotten back on line and received communion.
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If that really is the case then the priest still needs to know that the way they do things might need to be looked at because it causes confusion . Why wouldn’t they just have the kids go up together in a first communion group, as I have seen at all other places and for my 2 kids.

That aside:
No one has yet asked if the OP has been refused communion before by this priest? Like the weekend before? If not this would definitely indicate that it would have something to do with the first communicants. OR was this the first time she had gone to this church? Something certainly does not make sense. My understanding is that it is the Priest’s right to refuse communion for someone if he is not convinced that the person can or should receive.

It is hard to talk with someone who has offended and hurt you but I am afraid you may have to go knock on his door persistently until you get an answer…
 
He has never refused me before, and it is definately not the first time I have been there. My kids were all baptized there, by that priest. I did RCIA with this priest, and my son used to be a student at the parish school. They gave us instructions during rehersal that we would receive with the children. There is another parent that was also denied, it wasn’t only me.

And while I am divorced, I live alone. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have even tried. The other thing that bothered me is he didn’t even do a blessing like he would do for even a non catholic! Just shook his head.

I guess I need to just wait for his response. I just don’t know what I did wrong, and that really bothers me.
 
klriggins1 said:
He has never refused me before, and it is definately not the first time I have been there. My kids were all baptized there, by that priest. I did RCIA with this priest, and my son used to be a student at the parish school. They gave us instructions during rehersal that we would receive with the children. There is another parent that was also denied, it wasn’t only me.

And while I am divorced, I live alone. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have even tried. The other thing that bothered me is he didn’t even do a blessing like he would do for even a non catholic! Just shook his head.

I guess I need to just wait for his response. I just don’t know what I did wrong, and that really bothers me.
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I am just guessing…but maybe the instructions got mixed up. We helped with the first communion Mass this Sat and the children received from the priest…and the parents were to receive from the EMHC’s. You may have gotten certain instructions…but maybe they never got to the priest? And since the day was about the kids first communion, maybe it wasn’t the time to explain? Especially since he refused another parent. Sometimes wires get crossed:shrug: Please do not let it spoil the beauty of this special moment in your son’s life!

Blessings!
 
I’ve never seen parents receive with children at their first communion. The kids always go up first as a group. I’d suspect miscommunication also.

As for the blessing thing. That isn’t supposed to be happening in the first place. You can check out the sticky at the top of this forum about it.
 
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