He refused communion

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klriggins1 said:
My son’s first communion was last Sunday. I was so excited and proud of him, prepared for it accordingly. We went up for our turn, my son was given his, and then my priest shook his head and refused me. No blessing, nothing. My son was confused, as was I, and we kind of stumbled to the side and went back to our seats. Then I watched him do it to another parent…

Obviously I’m not perfect. I’m divorced, and I’m a single mother. I go to mass, I go to confession,I live alone, and I raise my kids like I’m supposed to. I really dont know what I did wrong… :confused:
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What a pity! This priest got it all wrong according to your version and I would ask for an explanation. But please two wrongs don’t make a right. Try to be kind to the priest. Everyone makes mistakes. My prayers with you.

Victor
 
I hope it is because you are divorced and raising the child without a father. Divorce should not be treated as a light matter and casually ignored by any priest, unfortunately it happens a lot in our modern world. my two cents.
 
As many others have said, only the Priest can give you a real answer.

Based on how you’ve described everything, I would guess that it was an honest mistake or mis-communication. Either he misunderstood your personal situation and believed you to be in a persistent sinful state or, more likely, the instructions for First Communion got mixed up. Perhaps he simply intended for you to come forward with the rest of the congregation afterwards.

I understand your feelings of hurt and confusion, but remember that Priests are imperfect human beings just like you and me. I am all-but certain that he did not intend to hurt your feelings or keep you from the Sacrament without cause. Obviously I don’t know this particular Priest, but there’s a good chance that he’ll be just as upset as you are when he realizes what happened!

Also, from my own experience, sometimes I don’t hear back from my Priest when I have a question for him because he is very, very busy with more urgent matters – so don’t automatically assume he’s avoiding you if you don’t hear back. If you haven’t heard from him before the weekend, I recommend arriving early for Mass and seeing if you can speak with him briefly.

I’ll say a prayer for you :-). I hope this all works out! God bless.
 
Cider said:
I’ve never seen parents receive with children at their first communion. The kids always go up first as a group. I’d suspect miscommunication also.
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My son had his First Communion this past weekend. In my parish, the child goes up with his/her parents and siblings and the family receives communion together from the priest. Once all the families of the First Communicants have received, the rest of the congregation receives. Most of the parishes in our area do it this way.

To the OP - I’m sorry you and your son were embarrassed and confused. I hope you are able to get an explanation about what happened.
 
klriggins1 said:
My son’s first communion was last Sunday. I was so excited and proud of him, prepared for it accordingly. We went up for our turn, my son was given his, and then my priest shook his head and refused me. No blessing, nothing. My son was confused, as was I, and we kind of stumbled to the side and went back to our seats. Then I watched him do it to another parent…

Obviously I’m not perfect. I’m divorced, and I’m a single mother. I go to mass, I go to confession,I live alone, and I raise my kids like I’m supposed to. I really dont know what I did wrong… :confused:
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The only thing I can think of that might possibly be since nobody here can really guess is that perhaps you were chewing gum?

Also, did any other parent other than you and the other one refused, go up with the First Communicants? Perhaps you weren’t supposed to go up with your son. In our parish (and all the other parishes where I’ve been to First Communions), the First Communicants all sit together in the front of the Church and receive first in front of everyone else in the Church. the professional photographers are at the ready and take the pictures as the kids receive. Then after that, everyone else goes up. Maybe you weren’t supposed to be in the line with the children?
 
I guess all I can do is echo everyone else, you should seek an explination from your parish priest as to why this is the case.
 
As some of the other posts have mentioned it could be that the children received the eucharists first for their first communion and then the rest of the congregation received, that is how it is done at my parish.
 
klriggins1 said:
He has never refused me before, and it is definately not the first time I have been there. My kids were all baptized there, by that priest. I did RCIA with this priest, and my son used to be a student at the parish school. They gave us instructions during rehersal that we would receive with the children. There is another parent that was also denied, it wasn’t only me.

And while I am divorced, I live alone. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have even tried. The other thing that bothered me is he didn’t even do a blessing like he would do for even a non catholic! Just shook his head.

I guess I need to just wait for his response. I just don’t know what I did wrong, and that really bothers me.
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Did he distribute communion to some parents and not others?
 
Gena said:
My son had his First Communion this past weekend. In my parish, the child goes up with his/her parents and siblings and the family receives communion together from the priest. Once all the families of the First Communicants have received, the rest of the congregation receives. Most of the parishes in our area do it this way.

To the OP - I’m sorry you and your son were embarrassed and confused. I hope you are able to get an explanation about what happened.
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Does this work out? I’m just imagining so many awkward situations with divorced/remarried parents and blended families.
 
anp1215 said:
Does this work out? I’m just imagining so many awkward situations with divorced/remarried parents and blended families.
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It works very well in our parish. In the past, watching First Communions, I thought it was very beautiful to see the families go up together. This past weekend, I had the privilege of standing next to my son while he received the the Body and Blood of our Lord for the first time. It filled my heart with such joy!

I have never seen any awkward family situations at First Communion. The priest and and the Director of Religious Education address various family situations privately, well ahead of the actual day. For example, my husband is non-practicing and does not receive communion. We discussed this issue with the priest and the DRE,and were assured that my husband could accompany my son and I up to communion, and then make a small discreet sign that he would not receive.
 
Please update us when you find out. I would be curious as to the reason. If what you say about your life is true, then I don’t understand that at all.

Congratulations to your son,

Lorrie
 
Cider said:
I’ve never seen parents receive with children at their first communion. The kids always go up first as a group. I’d suspect miscommunication also.
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That varies from parish to parish. Many parishes have the parents take their child up to receive his/her First Communion. It was like that in the parish where my daughter received hers 25 years ago and for at least a decade it was like that in the parish where I am now. Children sat with their families and went up with their families.
 
I’m hoping you have found out something about this and that it was simply a misunderstanding.
 
Let it go…you can never actually be refused communion because you are already in communion as part of the mystical body of Christ. Transubstantiation…that which is celebrated specifically in Eucharist is all that is ever happening, everywhere and all the time. All of creation, including you, is being forever transformed into the Body of Christ. In being refused the Eucharist you may come to know that although the institutional Church is not and never will be perfect…the mystical Church always includes ALL of creation, warts and all.
 
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