Head Covering - Style & Practice Questons - NOT a debate thread

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lizaanne

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Hello to the ladies who cover their heads for Mass!

I covered my head for the first time this Sunday. šŸ˜ƒ It really felt good to do this, and my husband said that the angels were happy. šŸ™‚ Even if he did tease me (in the sweetest way) that I looked like a gypsy girl. :rolleyes:

I tied an oblong flowered silk scarf around my head, and tied at my ear so the tails hung down in front. I have long hair, to the middle of my back, so my scarf only covered the top of and back of my head.

So my first question is - should I cover my hair completely? I see the itty bitty chapel veils, and I wonder if they really are more symbolic than actually performing the intended purpose, but then again Iā€™m new to all this so I look to others for some (name removed by moderator)ut.

Iā€™m thinking of making my own lace veil style, I love the shabbat styles that tie behind and hang down over the pony tail like these:

http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/7540/whitevictorianveniseveihe2.jpg

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/794/ivoryshabbatveilorshawlae7.jpg

Also - Iā€™m wondering if any of you choose when to cover you heads, no matter where you are at Mass, or do you follow the norm or how you ā€œfeelā€ about covering your head in certain situations? The reason I ask is because the parish we are planning to switch to I feel perfectly comfortable covering my head there, but the one where we are currently members I donā€™t feel comfortable at all. But may still attend there in the winter months because it is much closer. But I donā€™t want to be a hypocrite either - know what I mean? šŸ¤· For example, Iā€™m going to be attending my step-sisterā€™s babyā€™s baptism in a couple weeks, and my family (all Catholic) will freak out if I show up and cover my head. As I said, this is all new to me and Iā€™m trying to work out all the details in my mind and heart over how, when, why, etc. šŸ™‚

And a final note - PLEASE - take your arguments elsewhere. This is intended as a place for ladies to discuss how they cover their heads for Mass, not why. So the ā€œwhyā€ part is not open for debate here, kindly open a new thread for that. šŸ™‚

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
For example, Iā€™m going to be attending my step-sisterā€™s babyā€™s baptism in a couple weeks, and my family (all Catholic) will freak out if I show up and cover my head. As I said, this is all new to me and Iā€™m trying to work out all the details in my mind and heart over how, when, why, etc. šŸ™‚

~Liza
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I think the veil is gorgeous, I hope you will be wearing something that complements it. Why on earth would your family care whether you where a veil, hat or nothing on your head? Why would you care what they wear. Why would any of you feel constrained to explain your choice to others? Should you not all be focusing on the baptism and the Mass and not on your apparel?
 
puzzleannie said:
I think the veil is gorgeous, I hope you will be wearing something that complements it. Why on earth would your family care whether you where a veil, hat or nothing on your head? Why would you care what they wear. Why would any of you feel constrained to explain your choice to others? Should you not all be focusing on the baptism and the Mass and not on your apparel?
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I totally agree with you actually, and Iā€™m probably over reacting, which is often the case with me. :o Iā€™m just preparing myself for questions, Iā€™m sure they will come. Of course it does open the window for witnessing, which is always a good thing.

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
For example, Iā€™m going to be attending my step-sisterā€™s babyā€™s baptism in a couple weeks, and my family (all Catholic) will freak out if I show up and cover my head.
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How do you look in a wide fabric headband? Theyā€™re fashionable now, would probably look good with your long hair, and it can be your little secret with God that youā€™re wearing it for Him.

Betsy
 
The pics of the veils you posted are really cool. Iā€™ve seen pics of things similar to those, but never in person. Most of the women I know who wear head coverings wear either the small chapel cap or the smaller mantillas where the longest part probably reaches to the point between the shoulder blades. I personally wear the mantillas I just described. I donā€™t think you necessarily have to cover all your hair, it just so happens that I really donā€™t have to think about that b/c 1) my hair stops at about the same point as the veil, and 2) my hair is so fine that I have to at least pull part of it up to be able to anchor the comb or pin to keep the veil from slipping. There is a woman at my church who has really long hair, but she wears one thatā€™s similar to the one I wear.

My personal rule on wearing the veil is that if Iā€™m before the Blessed Sacrament, my head is covered. Iā€™m blessed to be in a pretty traditional parish where the women who cover their heads have a lot of support from the pastor. I do realize that is not always the case. However, if I attend another parish, I wear my veil there too b/c again, Iā€™m in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. I guess if someone were to say anything to me, that would be fine - they can voice their opinion all theyā€™d like - but since I feel like veiling is something God has asked of me, Iā€™m going to go with what He wants me to do. Also, the Church has not said that I canā€™t wear a veil.

I was nervous about wearing the veil for my niece/goddaughterā€™s baptism b/c a lot of my family hasnā€™t seen me wear one, and I know my sister isnā€™t exactly a huge fan of it. No one said a word about it except for her non-Catholic (actually, anti-Catholic) husband, and he just made a smart comment (which is not unusual for him anyway). I simply explained my reasoning for wearing it and let it go. I also feel that if I am ā€œpersecutedā€ for wearing the veil, that I should offer that small suffering to the Lord.

Just my two centsā€¦hope it helps!
 
baltobetsy said:
How do you look in a wide fabric headband? Theyā€™re fashionable now, would probably look good with your long hair, and it can be your little secret with God that youā€™re wearing it for Him.

Betsy
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I too think the smaller/more hidden the better. This allows others to still focus on Mass, and you to be able to express your special devotion to- and love for -Him. šŸ™‚

While those pictures are BEAUTIFUL, you will draw more attention than Jesus at the Mass. Especially if you are young and pretty. Not good, and, not what you intend I am sure.

God bless your love for Jesus in the Eucharist. :signofcross:
 
Iā€™m a guy but I think you should do as you feel appropriate and comfortable. I attend a Pauline Mass and we have women who were veils there. It certainly isnā€™t the norm but really Iā€™d say that hardly anyone notices one way or the other. Theyā€™re doing what they feel is appropriate and its no skin off anyoneā€™s back.

Personally I think the veils look pretty cool, and you have really good taste in yours. Iā€™d say people will be less paying attention to you wearing a veil and more wondering where you got it lol.
 
I like it, and they will go with everything! God bless! šŸ™‚
 
The women I have seen wear them use bobby pins (and LOTS of them!) šŸ˜‰ Some have also been successful in hot glue gunning them to a barrette or headband! šŸ‘
 
Although I wouldnā€™t wear it myself, itā€™s a lovely veil:D !

Anna x
 
Thank you everyone for all your (name removed by moderator)ut, it really is very helpful!

I have to agree that the ones Iā€™m looking at might be a bit over the top, but they are so beautiful, they caught my eye!! šŸ˜ƒ Not exactly the effect Iā€™m looking for from others, so Iā€™m glad some have pointed that out.

Iā€™m thinking that I still like the style, being long enough to cover my hair, but perhaps Iā€™ll try to make it from a sheer fabric with a smaller lace trim, and not such a heavy lace all over.

I wear wide headbands all the time, so that would be more of just a hair adornment for me than ā€œcovering my headā€. Besides, I think my DH likes the veil idea, so I will consider his wishes as well.

Iā€™m sure I will cover my head for the baptism, itā€™s just a matter of how I do it. And the reaction from family should be quite interesting indeed! :rolleyes: Iā€™m sure they are going to think Iā€™ve gone off the deep end, even if they are all Catholic.

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
I wear wide headbands all the time, so that would be more of just a hair adornment for me than ā€œcovering my headā€. Besides, I think my DH likes the veil idea, so I will consider his wishes as well.

Iā€™m sure I will cover my head for the baptism, itā€™s just a matter of how I do it. And the reaction from family should be quite interesting indeed! :rolleyes: Iā€™m sure they are going to think Iā€™ve gone off the deep end, even if they are all Catholic.

~Liza
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Iā€™m with you on the headband thingā€¦I think of it more as hair adornment than head covering, but that doesnā€™t mean that it would not work for other women. I donā€™t know how long your hair is, but maybe if you are worried about being considered too ā€œover the topā€ you could pin your hair into a pretty bun or french twist, then wear a smaller, lighter, more sheer type of covering thatā€™s a little less dramatic. Then, all your hair would be covered too. Youā€™d also still be wearing a veil, which your husband would like.

As far as family reactions, all I can tell you is to be prepared to answer questions about why you have chosen to wear a head covering. Be confident in your decision, and just be honest with them. If they still think youā€™re crazy, well, there are people in my family who think Iā€™m crazy, and trust me, I think plenty of my family are crazy, so it all works out! šŸ˜‰ Just know what you are going to say if they ask you about it.
 
catholicrocks said:
I donā€™t know how long your hair is, but maybe if you are worried about being considered too ā€œover the topā€ you could pin your hair into a pretty bun or french twist, then wear a smaller, lighter, more sheer type of covering thatā€™s a little less dramatic.
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Itā€™s to the middle of my back, and it is nearly impossible to get it to stay up without slipping out all over the place, itā€™s very straight and slick, so Iā€™m better off with a pony tail. :o
If they still think youā€™re crazy, well, there are people in my family who think Iā€™m crazy, and trust me, I think plenty of my family are crazy, so it all works out! šŸ˜‰
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Sounds like my family too! So I think you are right on! šŸ‘

~Liza
 
I hear ya on the ā€œslippery hair!ā€ šŸ˜ƒ I have baby fine hair that fights with me all the time! I like to wear it down most of the time, but I canā€™t keep my veil in my hair without at least pinning part of it up, or a ponytail, or twisting it up into one of those claw-like clips. šŸ™‚
 
I have worn a traditional mantilla a few times to mass, but fell out of the practice. šŸ˜¦ This thread has motivated me to begin wearing it again- I had forgotten how lovely it is and how reverent I feel the practice is. I have very fine hair as well, and chose to use two bobby pins, one on each side by my temple to hold the veil in place and I never had any trouble. It was my understanding that the veil was to cover all your hair (except maybe the bit on the front, as some veils are not made to do this because of their shape) and if your hair was long, you were to pull it up in some fashion so the veil would cover it. As for the smaller ā€˜capā€™ sytle veils, I thought those came into use because they could fit into a ladyā€™s handbag easily. Then again, I am a convert to the faith- what do I know? I did just get married on April 14th and my very protestant family, in-laws and friends saw me walk down the aisle and marry the most amazing Catholic man (who is also a convert, and was my RCIA sponsor and former seminarian!) - all while wearing a lovely knee length mantilla. So, maybe Iā€™m back in the practice after allā€¦šŸ˜ƒ
 
Good for you tarheel!! (where do you hail from in NC?)

Iā€™d love to see a photo of your bridal veil, it sounds lovely!!

~Liza
 
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