Headcoverings and fellowship

[StPio]

Hello and hope everyone had a peaceful First Sunday of Advent…

I’ve been a member for a while but haven’t posted much, a bit shy I guess
I was wanting to chat about headcoverings if anyone was interested? I’ve finally plucked up the courage to give it a go on this forum, my husband says just write something and see if there is anyone who feels the same, so here goes…

I have been covering for a good few years now and found it has focussed my prayer life a lot, I started with a black mantilla triangle scarf at church, firstly at the EF Mass and now usually at any Mass I attend as I do a ‘mixture’ of EF, OF and Ordinariate Masses.

I find generally at any of the Masses (I’m in the UK) I’m often either the only woman who covers or in a small group of women who cover. I use a small mantilla, larger mantilla prayer shawl, small patterned headscarves, fleece hat in the cold - a few styles really.

I’ve also got this feeling, for covering outside of Mass/Church. I often do, wearing headscarves or hats, but I’ve yet to meet anyone who also does this. Not trying to sound boastful or anything like pride - i recognise it’s not law for Christians, but a calling if you feel that way based on St Paul’s writings, which are the basis for my initial interest in covering, and my feeling I have a need for it. (if any of that makes sense!)

I suppose I feel a bit lonely, i don’t have many friends generally as I’m such a home-bird and going through a really tough time regarding fertility/discerning God’s plan for our marriage, which means I have the confidence of little fieldmouse being chased by a big fat cat (me the mouse - the ‘big bad world’ the cat). So making friends at churches/after Mass is such a strain. But the point of what I’m saying is I suppose - I’m trying to seek a bit of fellowship here, this seems like a friendly forum, as I struggle to find like-minded women to be friends with in the ‘real world’.

I would say I cover almost full time, but not in a regimented way, ie every time I leave the house. For me my soul seems to have settled on covering in order to feel closer to the Trinity, in imitation of Our Lady, and in obedience to St Paul’s writings, rather than because of modesty as such or because I’m married, even though I recognise the importance of trying to be a modest, humble pilgrim on a journey with Christ, and all the interior and exterior appearances which that means in my soul/heart.

Anyway, not trying to put anyone off with a long intro to me saying hello!
Just in case anyone is worried that I’m here to ‘push’ headcoverings on women, or start arguing about whether it’s right or wrong etc, I’m not, as I know from reading other forums these threads about modesty/clothing/covering can end up with people getting at each other.
So I feel I should say I’m here to try to build a connection with those who value covering in their lives, if they wish to share a part of their journey with Our Lord, with someone who feels bit lost in this world

So blessings to all, this the Lord’s Day evening.

 

[Gertabelle]

Congratulations on stepping up to the challenge of posting!

Regarding head coverings, I have considered it many, many times, but have not “taken the plunge.” Interestingly, in my parish, the few women who cover/veil are young women – late teens to 20s. One of them even wore her brown lace mantilla as a bridesmaid in a wedding last Friday. Ironically, although I have often thought that I would like to cover my head at mass, I feel I am too old since it is almost exclusively the young women who cover, not those of us in our 40s.

While it must surely feel you are part of a small community, globally, I think you are part of a slowly-growing community.

And if you are interested in posting in the safest possible threads, try some of the silly ones – games and the like. You’ll get to know other CAF members in a non-threatening sort of way. I think the area is the “water cooler” or the “back fence” – can’t remember right off.

Anyway, God bless you!!

Gertie

 

[mountee]

While I do not use a cover I always enjoy the respect and reverence that is conveyed by those that do. Several times while in Europe and Russia I have been required to cover and I really feel it us a humbling, respectful gesture.

 

[Shin]

Great to hear about it!

 

[grasscutter]

That was a lovely post! At my parish, pretty much (with rare exceptions) the only headcoverings I see are elderly women wearing “going to Church” hats.

I would love to join you (because our motivations seem the same), except I’m afraid that I will be looked at askance. Mainly because Im a pants and shirts sort of woman and I dont quite know how to do a headcovering with that. A nice going to Church hat would look ridiculous. And maybe also some manner of scarf or mantilla…

 

[Bonnie]

I started covering at Mass a few years ago, and once I was comfortable with that, I started covering all the time. Except at home - I only cover at home to either keep my head/ears warm or to keep my hair out of the way. No one wants to find hair in their food!

My reason to begin covering was spiritual, but I’ve found it to be very practical. I just put my hair in a bun, cover, and I’m done for the day. No fiddling with my hair in the morning to make it look nice. No double-checking in the mirror multiple times to make sure my hair isn’t sticking out of the bun and looking horrible. I usually wear a brown kerchief-style covering, but sometimes wear a black or white bandanna. Depends on where I’m going & what I’m doing.

I’ve noticed several women in my parish who started covering at Mass over the last couple of years, but the only ones who do so outside of Mass seem to be Amish, Mennonites, or other Protestants. So it’s not too unusual in my neck of the woods.

 

[BLP]

I began wearing a veil about 6 months ago and love it. It has totally changed the way I focus in Mass. I was scared to death the first time I wore one and had to have a friend who wears a veil sit beside me. I began wearing it at daily Masses to ease my way into it, which helped tremendously. I do not cover at any other time because I don’t feel the call to do so. I think all women should follow whatever it is they are called to do. We are all different and at different places spiritually. Just love one another and respect each person where they are.

 

[StPio]

Wow, that was a nice response to have with my morning tea - I posted late last night so not seen the responses I got till now, thank you!

I like what you say Gertie about it being a slow growing movement, that sounds nice.
Everyone’s messages have been very supportive, thanks again.

To offer my thoughts: grasscutter: Hello and thank you for your kind comment! - I would say try taking the plunge if you feel so inclined, I really know how it can feel scary and even distracting to yourself to be the only woman who covers, especially outside of a Latin Mass where some young people/children just haven’t ever seen it.
Try at a week day Mass if you get the chance to go - after a while it becomes so normal, it would feel odd for me not to have a covering. I must admit I used to reserve the mantilla for Latin and use a cotton tied-scarf for OF, but after a while I started to interchange as I got more confident. I tend to stick to skirts for Church but I’m not really into Sunday Best clothes, as long as I am fairly tidy and not wearing things which would make me uncomfortable/stand-out and therefore unable to concentrate as much. As for trousers/shirts, a small bandana with a plain pattern/colour not too girly might work?

Let me know what you think if you like…

 

[StPio]

I started covering at Mass a few years ago, and once I was comfortable with that, I started covering all the time. Except at home - I only cover at home to either keep my head/ears warm or to keep my hair out of the way. No one wants to find hair in their food!

My reason to begin covering was spiritual, but I’ve found it to be very practical. I just put my hair in a bun, cover, and I’m done for the day. No fiddling with my hair in the morning to make it look nice. No double-checking in the mirror multiple times to make sure my hair isn’t sticking out of the bun and looking horrible. I usually wear a brown kerchief-style covering, but sometimes wear a black or white bandanna. Depends on where I’m going & what I’m doing.

I’ve noticed several women in my parish who started covering at Mass over the last couple of years, but the only ones who do so outside of Mass seem to be Amish, Mennonites, or other Protestants. So it’s not too unusual in my neck of the woods.

Hi Bonnie, nice of you to reply - that’s interesting that you cover outside of Mass, I agree with it being practical too, I find I worry less about what my hair is doing even though I find having any sort of covering on where I live, outside of hats on for the winter, makes me stand out a bit. Do you have preferences for pattern/colour as such, or is the brown white or black just what is more comfortable for you? Interesting about having other covering women around your community, do you see any of the Amish which wear the big black bonnets - swartzentruber I think they are called?

 

[Bonnie]

Do you have preferences for pattern/colour as such, or is the brown white or black just what is more comfortable for you? Interesting about having other covering women around your community, do you see any of the Amish which wear the big black bonnets - swartzentruber I think they are called?

I have no fashion sense, so I tend to wear what works until it wears out.

No Amish here who wear the bonnets - at least I haven’t seen any - just the kapps.

 

[MyLittlPwn13]

Welcome, StPio!

Thanks for breaching the headcovering discussion. I am not currently covering for Mass, but am considering going back to it. I used to cover full-time, but right now my inner need is to separate the time I’m spending at Mass and adoration from the time I spend out in the world. I’m looking for something that doesn’t draw attention to itself, like an infinity scarf.

 

[StPio]

I have no fashion sense, so I tend to wear what works until it wears out.

No Amish here who wear the bonnets - at least I haven’t seen any - just the kapps.

No fashion sense for me much either - my favourite long black skirt is wearing very thin

 

[StPio]

Welcome, StPio!

Thanks for breaching the headcovering discussion. I am not currently covering for Mass, but am considering going back to it. I used to cover full-time, but right now my inner need is to separate the time I’m spending at Mass and adoration from the time I spend out in the world. I’m looking for something that doesn’t draw attention to itself, like an infinity scarf.

Hello! Thanks for replying, I like the infinity scarf idea too, not had a go at making one yet, but you’ve reminded me now…

I really like the headwraps like the tichels over on Wrapunzel.com, wondering if anyone here wears them or likes those styles. But they are definitely more attention-grabbing for a Mass in the UK, I’ve yet to pluck up the courage to wear one to Church or out and about, might do one day if I feel I’m not gaining much attention, I think they look so cheerful and a bit exotic, which is attractive for me here in rainy old England! Very feminine.

 

[Bonnie]

I really like the headwraps like the tichels over on Wrapunzel.com, wondering if anyone here wears them or likes those styles.

I wear the Batiste Mimkhatah from Headcoverings by Devorah. It’s a bit fancier than a plain scarf, but goes with just about anything.

 

[StPio]

I wear the Batiste Mimkhatah from Headcoverings by Devorah. It’s a bit fancier than a plain scarf, but goes with just about anything.

Hi Bonnie,

I had a look they seem nice and easy to wear, how do you keep them on as they look very light - a bit slippy maybe? - do you use clips? I find I like a velvet headband, the idea I got from Wrapunzel, as it sticks like glue to headscarves and I can wear them back off my ears and they don’t slip off.

 

[Bonnie]

Hi Bonnie,

I had a look they seem nice and easy to wear, how do you keep them on as they look very light - a bit slippy maybe? - do you use clips?

Yep - matching brown clips, of course.

 

[grasscutter]

To offer my thoughts: grasscutter: As for trousers/shirts, a small bandana with a plain pattern/colour not too girly might work?

Let me know what you think if you like…

Actually, I think that would totally work! Thank you! It would allow a headcovering that isn’t totally incongruent with my clothing.

 

[MyLittlPwn13]

Hello! Thanks for replying, I like the infinity scarf idea too, not had a go at making one yet, but you’ve reminded me now…

I really like the headwraps like the tichels over on Wrapunzel.com, wondering if anyone here wears them or likes those styles. But they are definitely more attention-grabbing for a Mass in the UK, I’ve yet to pluck up the courage to wear one to Church or out and about, might do one day if I feel I’m not gaining much attention, I think they look so cheerful and a bit exotic, which is attractive for me here in rainy old England! Very feminine.

I’ve worn a tichel before. I just picked up a rectangular scarf at a tag sale and learned to tie it. Thanks, Google! It’s lovely and warm, but it does definitely get attention. Of course, mine has rainbow stripes, so you would sort of expect that.Totally, totally fun.

 

[MyLittlPwn13]

I had a look they seem nice and easy to wear, how do you keep them on as they look very light - a bit slippy maybe? - do you use clips? I find I like a velvet headband, the idea I got from Wrapunzel, as it sticks like glue to headscarves and I can wear them back off my ears and they don’t slip off.

Goody makes thin workout headbands with rubber grippy bits. They stay in nicely, and one’s covering can be secured to it with straight pins if needed.

 

[journeythoughts]

I am a convert to the Catholic Church (2007). The subject of head coverings for women, from I Corinthians 11, has bothered me since my Protestant days. We always focused on the remainder of the chapter, with regard to proper reception of communion, but never on the first part, because it was “cultural” in setting, so we needn’t worry about it.

Over the past couple of years, I have really been praying about this. Though I would agree that because the Church doesn’t mandate it, we don’t “have” to veil, I would say that each woman should prayerfully consider it.

I just began wearing a veil to Mass on the first Sunday of Advent. I attend a Novus Ordo parish, and, as far as I know, I am the only one wearing a veil to Sunday Mass. I am a reader (lector), an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, a cantor, and sometimes play the piano for Mass.

It’s not easy! But it’s definitely worth it.

P.S. There is a Facebook group page for women who veil, or are considering veiling. A wonderful group of ladies from all over the country (and some other countries!). “New - Catholic Women’s Veiling Devotion” is the group name. It’s a closed group, so you have to request to join.