Headcoverings

[Mamamull]

My question – as a convert and not having a mother who taught me – When does one place the veil upon their head?

The article included with the veil made a comment that putting it on - even discreetly-- in the sanctuary is too late.

My logistics are:

I live in the midwest – many different weather types and putting the veil on before entering the church would mean a wet or lost veil.

I have (only) two sons, but getting past the baptismal font and holy water to and to our seats is not an easy time for me to put a veil on.

I thought that once we were seated and I was about to enter my prayer, that popping the veil on then would be acceptable.

So, do I take a powder room visit and then try to find my family? Or do I just make three males wait on me in the vestibule --not to mention the hundred or so other parishoners? (It is a fairly large suburban parish)

I am just trying to find some kind of discreet and polite way to wear this veil and don’t want to be a source of distraction or sin for someone else.

BTW, I have sewn a small comb into the top to help hold it in place, but it won’t require a major flamboyant move to use it. I will practice on my way into Eucharistic adoration since I am alone and the vestuble is usually empty.

Thank you,

 

[TNT]

I am just trying to find some kind of discreet and polite way to wear this veil and don’t want to be a source of distraction or sin for someone else.

Your good example far far outways the imaginary problem with others. What about all the others who would not know about the veil except by your example. After all, you can’t preach it in the church.
As you noticed, most church buildings have a “vestibule” or narthax, simply a entry place prior to entering the main body of the church where the pews are.

It’s like a “foyer” in your average house.
If none then going in first is always just fine. Put it on before going to a pew.

 

[Detroit_Sue]

I put mine on in the Ladie’s room before Mass. If’ I’m in a hurry, I’ll put it on in the vestibule.

I too, feel naked without it. Even in a church where I am the only one wearing a veil, I would feel weirder without it than with it.

 

[Mamamull]

TNT and Sue,

Thank you, I appreciate it. I know I will stand in my parish, but I may encourage a few women who have been on the fence to go for it.

My husband thought I should put it on while in the car and he will drop me and the boys off near the door prior to parking. That or waiting in the vestibule for dad and while I put my veil on may work out very well.

Thanks again. My husband actually was glad I asked him for his opinion, too.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.

 

[Sowndog]

Probably about 2% of our congregation wear head covering. Why? I guess the same reason the same reason the disciples didn’t wash their hands in Matt 15; It’s not important. Sure, it can be beautiful display of worship but there is good reason why it is not an obligation.

 

[TNT]

Sowndog:

…there is good reason why it is not an obligation.

I know there is a place where the church has a ruling on this as no longer an obligation. I was unable to locate it.
Also, I missed the “good reason”, but that’s probably in the Ruling.
Perhaps you can let me know.
Thanks.

 

[NightRider]

I always cover my hair whenever I enter the Church, either with a hat of some sort or one of my mantillas. I put it on right outside the front door. It is very easily done and requires no extra effort on my part at all. I do it out of respect for Our Lord.

There is a great website about veils and mantillas, it is halo-works.com. I love that site!

More and more women are covering their hair these days in my parish.

As an aside, it might be interesting to note that Orthodox Jewish women all cover their hair, whether they are in synagogue or going about their daily lives. Many of them purchase wigs to cover their own hair underneath, and many just wear scarves. They do so out of a respect for God.

 

[TNT]

Many of them purchase wigs to cover their own hair underneath, and many just wear scarves.[/B] They do so out of a respect for God.

And never from having a bad hair day.

 

[puzzleannie]

Michael's Sword:

5 But any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled brings shame upon her head, for it is one and the same thing as if she had had her head shaved.

6 For if a woman does not have her head veiled, she may as well have her hair cut off. But if it is shameful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should wear a veil.
.

today when most women wear short hair, isn’t the topic of headcovering moot, if this is the context?

 

[MaggieOH]

I wear a hat to Church. I have been doing this for several years. I feel odd when I do not wear it.

My move back to wearing a hat happened by accident, and yes I was dared by a priest to wear it.

Maggie

 

[Mary_s_Lamb]

I remember back in elementary school that head coverings were mandatory then. We would go to mass on First Fridays. If a girl forgot her veil, we had to wear a Kleenex with a bobby pin, on our heads. How reverant was that to wear a tissue on our heads? Although veils can be beautiful, head coverings are not a part of today’s culture. However, in our area, Phila. I do see that Black women in the Baptist Church do wear elegant hats to their services.

 

[Celia]

I think I would probably like wearing a mantilla or something to church. I like those black lace ones, they seem very pretty. However, I can honestly tell you that I have never seen a woman in my church wear any kind of headcovering intentionally of that kind. (scarves & stuff too.) I would not mind doing it if it was more common. I hate to say it, but I’m just afraid of looking weird to others, I guess.

 

[AmandaCatherine]

I think that wearing a mantilla is a beautiful and meaningful custom, but no one wears them at my parish. I did see an elderly lady once with a little doily on her head, but that is all. I was born after most people quit wearing veils at mass, and am a convert anyway, so I was surprised at the reaction from a Catholic woman when the topic of veils came up. She had a very negative perception of them, and her opinion was that when someone in her parish does so, they are doing it to show off and look holier than thou.

I would like to wear a mantilla at mass, and I actually bought a nice one from halo-works, but I am too chicken to be the first/only one to wear one. Especially since apparently some people see them as showing off.

 

[bear06]

TNT:

I know there is a place where the church has a ruling on this as no longer an obligation. I was unable to locate it.
Also, I missed the “good reason”, but that’s probably in the Ruling.
Perhaps you can let me know.
Thanks.

I searched the AAA forum for you T and this is what I found:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=32453&highlight=mantilla

I don’t have a problem with people who want to wear mantillas. That said, I don’t wear one because with soon to be 6 little ones it would be a huge distraction for us all. Here are some reasons why: At least 2 of my little ones (soon to be 3) would be trying to rip it off my head the whole time. If I had my girls wear them they would also be be touching it and adjusting it and be having it ripped off their heads by the 2 little ones (I know this to be true because we did chapel caps when we were in a choir once - it was ugly). I’ve also noticed this happening other girls that do wear them to my church. I can tell you for sure that it would cause great stress on Sundays which would distract us from our focus because no matter how often I tell the kids to put x,y and z back in its place, usually there’s at least one that doesn’t (drawback of large families! )and then we’d have to spend time finding the chapel cap/mantilla which is very distracting to a time that should be spent preparing for Mass.

Now, my kids are considered very reverent children by just about everyone I know but they are children and these things do happen from time to time. I’m sure by the way I’ve described them you’d think not but they are good because I’ve minimized all of the distractions I can. Like I’ve said, I’ve seen more girls fidgeting with their chapel caps/mantillas than I’ve cared to so I know it not to be my problem only. I prefer to not have the temptation. Hats are essentially the same distraction. I can’t even remember the last time we had them for Easter Mass.

 

[bear06]

TNT:

I know there is a place where the church has a ruling on this as no longer an obligation. I was unable to locate it.
Also, I missed the “good reason”, but that’s probably in the Ruling.
Perhaps you can let me know.
Thanks.

 

[TNT]

bear06:
Long time…no posts. I’ll say you got little competition in combating my intransigence. They all resort to name calling.
Quality sarcasm is becoming a lost argument art form. And it has few who even understand it.

When the kids were little, I just put mittons on them without thumbs. If they didn’t want them, then they could keep their hands in prayer mode from entry to exit. The <4 yr olds, were given to admiring childless couples. Sometimes all this actually worked. Wife has long hair, they loved to play with it…she had to put it in a twist / bun in self defense. She got all outta shape when I suggested handcuffs for the >2 yr olds.
Most of the young mom’s somehow pin the mantilla or have the big Spanish ones that can wrap.
My Mom and sisters just wore a “babushka”. If worn today, they’d think you were a homeless person.

 

[bear06]

Long time…no posts. I’ll say you got little competition in combating my intransigence. They all resort to name calling.

Now, now, T, don’t get your feelings hurt too badly. I believe it was you who called someone a “raving disoriented liberal” in one of our more recent threads.

Nice to know I was missed. I replied to you all but nobody answered my questions and the thread died.

Quality sarcasm is becoming a lost argument art form. And it has few who even understand it.

With this I can concur wholeheartedly. We’re so misunderstood.

When the kids were little, I just put mittons on them without thumbs.

LOL! That would be something else for us to be searching for before Mass. Really now, don’t you think that time could be better spent preparing for Mass rather than worrying about what we put on our head, hands, etc? I’m not saying that we shouldn’t dress appropriately for Mass in modest, Mass appropriate clothes. We have lots of them although shoes are sometimes missing! I’ve had people tell me all sorts of ways to deal with the headcoverings and yet I really find it hard to believe that they aren’t investing way to much worry in whether or not they have one. I’m sure there are many families or individuals who this is not a problem for but I’m also sure that there are many who it is a big problem for.

Most of the young mom’s somehow pin the mantilla or have the big Spanish ones that can wrap.

Once again, there are people who this probably have no problems wearing mantillas and some who do. I know I’ve seen my fair share of wrestling matches over mom’s mantilla. It’s distracting to me and I’m not even the one wearing it! Parts of the Mass are being missed because of the WWF Mantilla Match!

I respect those who want to wear one. No problem. However, to say that it’s never a distraction to anyone who wears them wouldn’t be accurate.

I wouldn’t say someone is more holier than thou just for wearing one. That’s ridiculous. That said though, I’ve had friends who’ve tried to guilt me into wearing one (of course, T knows I don’t give in easily ) and a choir director who pinned them on my children without even asking. It’s not that I don’t want to wear one because they are a pre-VII fashion, it’s simply a very practical reason which is that they are a huge distraction for our family to use them. They don’t help us focus as they might for other people.

These are just my answers to the original question.

 

[bear06]

Long time…no posts.

 

[TNT]

bear06:

Now, now, T, don’t get your feelings hurt too badly. I believe it was you who called someone a “raving disoriented liberal” in one of our more recent threads.
I’m exempt

**I have a concealed mental cruelty license. At least my wife thinks so.
**With this I can concur wholeheartedly. We’re so misunderstood.
That’s always been the worlds whole problem.

…I’ve had people tell me all sorts of ways to deal with the headcoverings and yet I really find it hard to believe that they aren’t investing way to much worry in whether or not they have one. I’m sure there are many families or individuals who this is not a problem for but I’m also sure that there are many who it is a big problem for.
Once again, there are people who this probably have no problems wearing mantillas and some who do. I know I’ve seen my fair share of wrestling matches over mom’s mantilla. It’s distracting to me and I’m not even the one wearing it! Parts of the Mass are being missed because of the WWF Mantilla Match!

Sounds like a possible New Business … designing immovable mantillas. Think about chin straps… I’m serious…"Military Mantilla Factory

" . The possibilities are storming thru my head right now… zipper pockets, Velcro lined…camo colors…moisture proof wipes pouch…endless. You could put the fear of buggy whip makers into the diaper bag industry. “Who needs’m. since I’ve got my MM” … the ads are surfacing. Ecumenism, yes, a crescent on the back, a cross on the front, Star-of-david over the ears.
I wouldn’t say someone is more holier than thou just for wearing one. That’s ridiculous.
My idea would crush that too. You could make clown mass dress look passe’.
These are just my answers to the original question. What question? I thought you were giving a sermon.
ps I just realised you can put a quote inside a quote. I guess you could nest them forever, and really make it look spectacular. Next I’ll figure out why I’d do that.
My Meds are happening now… I’ll ave to sine ou

 

[bear06]

ps I just realised you can put a quote inside a quote. I

Yeah, but now I can’t just hit the quote button to comment on your comments - Wait, that’s the plan isn’t it?

Let me know when you get the MM factory up and running. I could sell a lot of them for you!