Healing from damage caused by my past

[Holly3278]

Hey everyone. When I was a little child, I witnessed my dad beat up on my mom in his drunken rages. I was also physically and emotionally abused by my former step-dad. I remember him pushing me around, pulling me by my hair, throwing and shoving me up against walls, and other things. I know that I suffer from a lot of depression and other emotional stress due to these things. How can I be healed from the damage that these things have caused me? I have completely forgiven both my dad and my former step-dad as well as anyone else who has ever hurt me. What more can I do?

 

[hazcompat]

St. Francis De Sales

“Do everything calmly and peacefully. Do as much as you can as well as you can. Strive to see God in all things without exception, and consent to His will joyously. Do everything for God, uniting yourself to him in word and deed. Walk very simply with the Cross of the Lord and be at peace with yourself.”

Prayer for Inner Healing
from Fr. Gabriel Amorth

Lord Jesus, you came to heal our wounded hearts. I beg you to heal the torments that cause anxiety in my heart. I beg you, in a particular way, to heal all who are the cause of sin. I beg you to come into my life and heal me of the psychological harms that struck me in my early years and from the injuries that they caused throughout my life.
Lord Jesus, you know my burdens. I lay them all on your Good Shepherd’s Heart. I beseech you - by the merits of the great, open wound in your heart - to heal the small wounds that are mine. Heal the pain of my memories, so that nothing that has happened to me will cause me to remain in pain and anguish, filled with anxiety.

Heal, O Lord, all those wounds that have been the cause of all the evil that is rooted in my life. I want to forgive all those who have offended me. Look to those inner sores that make me unable to forgive. You who came to forgive the afflicted of heart, please, heal my own heart.

Heal, my Lord Jesus, those intimate wounds that cause me physical illness. I offer you my heart. Accept it, Lord, purify it and give me the sentiments of Your Divine Heart. Help me to be meek and humble.

Heal me, O Lord, from the pain caused by the death of my loved ones, which is oppressing me. grant me to regain peace and joy in the knowledge that you are the Resurrection and the life. Make me an authentic witness to your resurrection, your victory over sin and death, your living presence among us. Amen.

peace

 

[Edmundus1581]

Hi Holly,

I can relate. My ex-wife was abusive and my divorce was deeply traumatic because of the stress of protecting my children and getting custody - and then running a house as a single dad. I also suffered from childhood trauma (but not any direct abuse).

For about 17 years now I’ve been struggling with various emotional problems.

I have found that a spiritual life helps, but doesn’t get to the root of the problems. I attend 12 step meetings for addiction, and also a counsellor for personal therapy. At 12 step meetings we hear similar stories - people who had some serious trauma in their life, usually childhood, and then became addicted. Unfortunately, healing the trauma through counselling doesn’t in general heal the addiction. We often need both.

The main problem with getting counselling is the cost. If you can afford it,then great. Otherwise explore what free or cheap options are available from the government and church. I’ve got free counselling thru the drug and alcohol services, and through our diocese.

Best wishes with it! It’s a long, hard road, but know that God is wanting to turn all these difficulties to your advantage - especially your spiritual and eternal advantage. You will yield much fruit if you cooperate with His plan.

I’ll say a prayer for you, me, and all of us.

 

[Edmundus1581]

…
I have completely forgiven both my dad and my former step-dad as well as anyone else who has ever hurt me. What more can I do?

Excellent! That’s one of the most important and difficult steps!

I have found that forgiveness for serious injury is never final… that it’s something I have to keep doing, every time the events come to mind. But, it does get easier with time, and the spiritual and emotional rewards are priceless!

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Contemplative prayer.

It invites the Divine Therapist, aka the Holy Spirit, to heal us of a lifetime of emotional wounds. Depending on how receptive you can make yourself, He can heal you beyond even the forgiveness I’m happy to hear you gave! I have experienced His healing touch and it is delicious!

Ref: CCC 2700-2724

 

[AthenaC]

I survived an abusive marriage and went on to remarry (and I have a happy, healthy marriage now).

Here’s what worked for me - I noticed that after enduring such abuse (and not the healthiest relationship with my parents groing up), that I really had no concept of what a healthy relationship is. So I read self-help save-your-marriage books. The titles I remember are “The Five Love Languages” and “Emotional Infidelity.” The reason these helped is because they are designed to coach people into creating a healthy relationship; in doing this, it also shows the rest of us what a healthy relationship looks like.

Once you understand this, including some boundaries of what is not acceptable, you are ready to look for love. Opening your heart and accepting love will be one of the most healing experiences you can have. God is Love, and humans are created in his image; experiencing human love can really heal you on a divine level, once you are ready for it.

And once that happens, being open to love and being able to love will cascade through your life in all your relationships - husband-wife, friend-friend, and parent-child.

 

[SilverGracie]

I also recommned taking a look at a book called The Holy Longing. In it, the author uses scripture to explain that there are steps to take beyond forgiveness. For example, think of Jesus’ death during which the apostles betrayed and/or abandoned Jesus. He forgave them, but that wasn’t the end of the story. The raltionship could not go back to the way it was. Jesus left, and the apostles could not move on until they allowed themselves to be *blessed by *His death. They allowe thsemselves to be blessed by this tragedy when they were open and received the descent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. This is an intriguing concept, and I encourage you to read more about it.