Healing from shame

[Anglewannabe]

I was always under the impression that the way to emotionally heal was to learn forgiveness, trust God, follow Jesus, learn to be more charitable to others, set appropriate boundaries and other such stuff

A friend told me that healing from shame was not something with readily available resources. I guess my question is ‘why would shame be any different than any other issue?’ After, Jesus is God and how can following Him not always be the solution?

Thoughts?

Angie

 

[JimmyDFG]

I was always under the impression that the way to emotionally heal was to learn forgiveness, trust God, follow Jesus, learn to be more charitable to others, set appropriate boundaries and other such stuff

A friend told me that healing from shame was not something with readily available resources. I guess my question is ‘why would shame be any different than any other issue?’ After, Jesus is God and how can following Him not always be the solution?

Thoughts?

Angie

Hi Angie, For me I try to hang on to a piece of shame as a reminder or a deterrent on the sins I have committed. Even though I’ve asked for forgiveness and believe I have been forgiven. Its not in Gods plan for us to be separated from him …but to be with him. Jesus’s love is always the solution

 

[1ke]

A friend told me that healing from shame was not something with readily available resources.

I think I’d need more context to understand what she is talking about.

Brené Brown would be someone for your friend to look up, both her online talks and her book.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I think I’d need more context to understand what she is talking about.

Brené Brown would be someone for your friend to look up, both her online talks and her book.

This friend suggested the book ‘Unbound’ by Neal Lozano. I bought it and it is basically that we believe satan’s lies and how to repent of believing them. As much as the book seems a bit complicated for me to understand, I do like the principles because the focus is on Jesus.

I pray with this friend and I told her about how I am always petrified of doing something wrong at work. And she thinks it is shame taking over me. And she did mention Brene Brown and said she is the only person who has done some work on it.

I just watch 2 of her videos and the only thing she seems to be saying is ‘we need to talk about it’. I still have not found any practical solutions from Brene Brown.

It seems like my friend was implying that shame is in a category all on its own and needs to be looked at separately. I can’t help but think that emotional would encompass everything and not have different buckets for each negative emotion.

Angie

 

[GreyWings]

Great question, Angie.

There’s a difference between guilt and shame.

I feel both right now and am, ironically, trying to heal from both. Shame, especially, is hurtful and damaging.

My only advice is to remember God loves you and forgives you no matter your sin or shame as a result. And that’s so precious and beautiful! Shame hurts deeply, but remember that you’re loved, not just by God but by the people in your life. Try to forgive yourself. I know, it’s easier said than done. We Catholics really are too hard on ourselves. Try to give yourself some grace

Hugs
GW

 

[Anglewannabe]

Great question, Angie.

There’s a difference between guilt and shame.

I feel both right now and am, ironically, trying to heal from both. Shame, especially, is hurtful and damaging.

My only advice is to remember God loves you and forgives you no matter your sin or shame as a result. And that’s so precious and beautiful! Shame hurts deeply, but remember that you’re loved, not just by God but by the people in your life. Try to forgive yourself. I know, it’s easier said than done. We Catholics really are too hard on ourselves. Try to give yourself some grace

Hugs
GW

See, IMO if I can learn to forgive myself, wouldn’t that indirectly take care of both the guilt and shame. I guess I am just finding it too complicated to name things and would rather keep it simple and seek the peace of Christ