Healing hurts from the past

  • Thread starter Thread starter tersteegen
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

tersteegen

Guest
Hello dear friends of Christ,

this is my first post and I want to say that I am thankful for being able to come here!

The reason I have signed up on this forum and am writing this post is that I am looking for (general) instructions/advice on how I can go about healing emotional wounds, many of which are quite old (15 years and older), but are still very active.

I want to say that I am psychologically absolutely stable, so it’s nothing highly acute/dangerous that I am dealing with, which might immediately require a psychotherapist/other professional.

In a nutshell I have not been “aligned with myself” nor with God’s will for a much too long time. I see 2 different types of “things” that have gone wrong: (1) Things that I myself have done wrong and thereby worsened my life and (2) Things, others have done wrong (esp. family) that have had bad impact on the course of my life. I also know (speaking for myself), that besides those things that I am aware of, there are without doubt also past hurts, that I can no longer remember, but that need healing just as well.

So (at this point) I am not primarily asking for help here regarding any specific problem of mine, but rather looking for general ideas on healing in the catholic faith. I would be very interested in any books you could reccomend. For example I have found the book “healing” by Francis Macnutt, which I think I am going to buy:

amazon.com/Healing-Revised-Expanded-Silver-Anniversary/dp/0877936765/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379263700&sr=8-1&keywords=francis+macnutt

I know that the following will play an important role in my healing: Repentance, confession, forgiving others and myself, prayer, receiving the Eucharist, reading the Bible.

Thank you for reading my post and if you have any tipps or book recommendations , I would be very glad to here,

God bless you,
Jon
 
Praying the Rosary for Inner Healing by Father Dwight Longenecker is very good: amazon.com/Praying-Rosary-Healing-Dwight-Longenecker/dp/159276424X

But honestly, in my experience, I have received the greatest graces, including the graces of healing, through Eucharistic Adoration. Making a habit of placing oneself before the True Presence in the tabernacle eventually yields insight, consolation, and is a source of great strength. The little book with the link below (“Fifteen Minutes with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament”) is a treasure, and despite the fact that it has a typo or two, its simplicity is perfect for developing a conversation with Our Savior in adoration. It was recommended to me many years ago by a Jesuit priest during a retreat, and I have used it regularly ever since. You can even keep a copy in your car so that when you find yourself with 15 minutes to spare, you can take it with you to the closest eucharistic chapel ;).

catholicfreeshipping.com/gensym-143.html
 
@daisybee,
thank you for sharing your experiences with Eucharistic Adoration. - I am really glad you mentioned it, because I had actually forgotten about this possibility of receiving healing.
And thank you for reccomending the 2 books. They sound promising to me and I will try to get them. Thank you again!

@Churchsoldier
Thank you for recommending “Heart of the father ministries” and the"Unbound"- book. I have read a couple of ratings on amazon and it seems to be a great book, adressing what I am looking for. So I think I am goin to buy it. Thank you again!
 
I also recommend Eucharistic Adoration. It is a wonderful devotion and I have received many graces through it, especially of healing of the old wounds. I very clearly remember several times during Adoration that I felt the burden lift off my shoulders.
Acknowledging that we are helpless and asking God to fix it is a good first step. Just handing the hurt over is a very powerful gesture.

I have also found it helpful to dedicate both my mass intention and my communion to the healing of my wounds.

You might find that things improve initially, but then you stagnate or even go back a few steps. It takes time. But never tire of asking God for healing and believing that He will do it.

Another devotion that helped me was the Novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. You can pray for 9 ‘knots’ (wounds and/or sins), or focus on just 1 during the novena. I prayed this a few months ago, and had a list of 9 things that needed to be un-knotted. I was amazed to find out that some of them lessened to a great degree afterwards, the sins and temptations became a shadow of themselves. I will pray it again soon because I feel a constant pull towards it.

Good luck and God bless.
 
you are in the right place… being on here…

your little seed of effort that you’ve planted today will grow into eternal life and joy if you only let it …

the more you get to know jesus Christ, him who sent him (our father) your wounds will heal beyond measure that you ever thought possible…

I am no expert helper, nor do I want to sound cliché… but… if you pour out your mind, your soul your thoughts onto God he will heal you… the Holy Spirit knows your thoughts and everything about you in a loving way and he will help you pour out your pain onto God

“forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”… allow these godly words to sink into your soul as you ponder your life…

everyone is given a cross to carry… how do we receive this cross? through our past… some are victims… some feel the need to help more than others through an abundance, … it is our life circumstances that give us our cross… you have one to… your carrying it already… and your life will spring into eternity with God the father… well be one big family in heaven one day

seek healing services at a Catholic church only… outpouring of the spirit gatherings… you qill meet incredible people from all walks of life… you can pray “lord I believe, help me with my unbelief”… the lord is there beside you, god is taking care of you… may the angels defend you in battle
 
@ contra mundum:
thank you so much for your answer. It really is helpful to hear about your experience with Eucharistic Adoration and healing old wounds. “Acknowledging that we are helpless and handing the hurt over”. - This is really speaking to my heart and I will do my best to do this during the Adoration.

I also find your suggestion to dedicate the mass intention and the communion to the healing of wounds very good.
And you’re right, when you say that healing takes time. I believe so too. I’m not expecting any quick fix. So the process of healing should probably best be seen as a chance to grow in faith and patience.

So interesting, you mention the Novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. I recently stumbled across this too and also felt a very strong pull towards it. I’m really glad and excited to hear that you have found profound relief in it.

Your answer has been very helpful. I will implement your suggestions, because I like them all.
 
@pwlj_christ87

I have found your words to be very encouraging. Thank you so much!

I also believe that it’s all about getting to know Our father and Jesus. -And this will more than take care of our wounds.
if you pour out your mind, your soul your thoughts onto God he will heal you… the Holy Spirit knows your thoughts and everything about you in a loving way and he will help you pour out your pain onto God
Click to expand...
Very encouraging and powerful words. And I think you’re right: It’s important to not keep things inside to myself. -But to truly and authentically open up my inner life to God, to communicate everything I have inside to him.
“forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”… allow these godly words to sink into your soul as you ponder your life…
Click to expand...
Great reminder and advice.

Also thank you for making me aware (again) of the fact that everyone - including me - has a cross to carry. -Helps to put everything into perspective.

And thank you for your very good wishes!!!
God bless you!
 
There are such great responses in this thread – all of them very effective for healing past hurts that keep surfacing.

There is another non-spiritual remedy: strenuous exercise. When my past hurts and anger arise sometimes I alternate jogging with a long walk and do a few martial arts punches in the air. 🙂 It needn’t be for a long time and you don’t have to be athletic. It helps.

God Bless You
 
RosalieM,

I totally agree. Those responses I have received from all of you are a blessing in themselves. They have literally ALL spoken very much to my heart and I will incorporate them in my “healing program”, because I am convinced of their power.

Thank you for suggesting strenuous exercise. I believe exercise is always good and I also believe it will alleviate the symptoms of emotional wounds. However I think it won’t be able to cure those hurts. - But it’s a great idea to incorporate exercise, especially during an intense period of dealing with one’s past, so that one doesn’t get caught up too much in those past issues.

Thank you!
 
tersteegen said:
RosalieM,

I totally agree. Those responses I have received from all of you are a blessing in themselves. They have literally ALL spoken very much to my heart and I will incorporate them in my “healing program”, because I am convinced of their power.

Thank you for suggesting strenuous exercise. I believe exercise is always good and I also believe it will alleviate the symptoms of emotional wounds. However I think it won’t be able to cure those hurts. - But it’s a great idea to incorporate exercise, especially during an intense period of dealing with one’s past, so that one doesn’t get caught up too much in those past issues.

Thank you!
Click to expand...
You know, now that you mention it, I don’t think the hurts are ever really ‘cured’. Perhaps the pain just subsides and they heal some, and leave us with scars. My past hurts rear up on a regular basis, although with less intensity over time. When we attach our suffering to that of Our Lord’s suffering, we can offer it for our salvation and the salvation of others. I’m only beginning to understand the value of suffering – not that we should seek it out – but that when it happens, it can be put to incredibly good use.

Pax et Bonum
 
tersteegen said:
@ contra mundum:
So the process of healing should probably best be seen as a chance to grow in faith and patience.

So interesting, you mention the Novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. I recently stumbled across this too and also felt a very strong pull towards it. I’m really glad and excited to hear that you have found profound relief in it.
Click to expand...
I’m so glad you found the suggestions helpful.

True, this is a great opportunity to grow in faith and patience. God can turn everything into something good, including old wounds.

The Novena is great, and you should definitely do it since it seems to be appearing in your life. 👍
 
@RosalieM
I would think that all degrees of (emotional) healing are possible with God. Small improvements, where the pain is less than before, but still remains a serious issue; Medium improvement, when there’s far less pain than before; And also complete healings, where a past issue is just totally gone: No more trace of it whatsoever in the persons’s soul, mind and life. - Why shouldn’t it be possible? God can do ANYTHING, and if the person does everything it takes and God wants it too and helps, I think complete healing is possible. -I’m not saying it’s (usually) easy and I also think it (usually) takes time, but I think that’s what one should go for, since it is possible. But what do I know…just my thoughts.

I have not yet touched the challenging topic of the value of suffering, but want to learn about it soon. However I already feel like it’s a tough, uncomfortable and often times misunderstood aspect of the Chrisitian faith.

Thank you again for your (name removed by moderator)ut!!
 
@ContraMundum

Thank you for your encouraging words!

I will definitely pray the Novena and am very much looking forward to it.
I have also found out where in my area Eucharistic Adoration is possible. - I haven’t “done” this before and am really glad it was mentioned here.

All the best to you!
 
I also had hurts from past that needed healing. I can tell you it is an ongoing process, not sure if total healing happens but I do know with absolute certainity that God’s love & mercy make all hurts easier to deal with. Since becoming a practicing Catholic Christian my pain is the least of my concerns day to day. I still have moments but nothing like before.

A book I like is Lord I Hurt amazon.com/Lord-Hurt-Grace-Forgiveness-Healing/dp/1593252005/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379453321&sr=1-1&keywords=lord+i+hurt Simple, easy to read, and helpful. I read it then gave it to a non-Catholic friend to help her heal.
 
RosalieM said:
You know, now that you mention it, I don’t think the hurts are ever really ‘cured’. Perhaps the pain just subsides and they heal some, and leave us with scars. My past hurts rear up on a regular basis, although with less intensity over time. When we attach our suffering to that of Our Lord’s suffering, we can offer it for our salvation and the salvation of others. I’m only beginning to understand the value of suffering – not that we should seek it out – but that when it happens, it can be put to incredibly good use.
Click to expand...
I agree with this. Pain lessens over time, but memories remain. Sometimes there is a trigger and the hurt resurfaces, but I find that the intensity is much less than it used to be. I find it easier to let go of my feelings, because they don’t own me anymore. While I used to obsess over my feelings and memories for days and weeks, I now brush them off after a good cry, and move on.

I’m sure that God can heal us to the degree that there is no pain left, and that our memories of painful events are so distant from us, like a long forgotten dream. I have not experienced that, but hope that God will grant me this mercy. If not, then surely it will all be well in the next life.

What I found very helpful in the process of healing, is to make sacrifices for the person who hurt me. I also pray the Divine Mercy chaplet for them regularly. Just the thought of this was impossible for me until recently, but through God’s grace I can now do it and find peace in it. So offering my hurt to Jesus for the sake of the person who hurt me helps both that person and me. I wonder if God will allow the painful memories to haunt me so I can carry on praying for this person. He sustains me and gives me hope that all will be well. I have to admit I am still very confused with all of this because for many years I was consumed with feelings of hurt and guilt and the thought of redemptive suffering made me very angry. I think this just shows that God can do anything and use bad things for good.
 
@Horton,
Thank you for sharing your own experience with past hurts. It is encouraging to hear about how you have been able to make progress. And I agree with you, I am also expecting this to be an ongoing process in my case.
And thank you for the book recommendation. I was looking for theses kinds of tips and the book is definitely on my list

@ContraMundum

[QUOTEI’m sure that God can heal us to the degree that there is no pain left, and that our memories of painful events are so distant from us, like a long forgotten dream. I have not experienced that, but hope that God will grant me this mercy. If not, then surely it will all be well in the next life. ].

I like your analogy of a long forgotten dream.
And I agree with you and wish for you to work on and receive the greatest healing possible!
What I found very helpful in the process of healing, is to make sacrifices for the person who hurt me. I also pray the Divine Mercy chaplet for them regularly. Just the thought of this was impossible for me until recently, but through God’s grace I can now do it and find peace in it. So offering my hurt to Jesus for the sake of the person who hurt me helps both that person and me.
Click to expand...
Another very interesting, but very challenging perspective you are providing. I am not at the point yet that I feel like I can make sacrifices for those who have hurt me, but I totaly see the value of it and I do want to get there.
I wonder if God will allow the painful memories to haunt me so I can carry on praying for this person.
Click to expand...
Also a very interesting thought, I would never have thought of. I can - generally speaking - imagine that God gives us those bad memories, so that we keep on praying for someone. Following this logic, I can also imagine that if one of God’s reasons or his only reason for keeping bad memories alive in us is that we pray for the sinner, he might just as well decide to weaken/take away the memory, if he has the “feeling” that we are willing to pray for others in general and those who have sinned against us out of our own motivation. Without Him having to send us distinct (painful) memories as a reminder of our duty to pray for others.
I think this just shows that God can do anything and use bad things for good.
Click to expand...
It is actually my goal and try to see all the good things in those bad things that have happened in the past. I’m sure if one searches one can actually find good things.The challenge is probably to accept that there might actually be good elements in those bad things or that those bad things can actually be turned into something good.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
What I found very helpful in the process of healing, is to make sacrifices for the person who hurt me. I also pray the Divine Mercy chaplet for them regularly. Just the thought of this was impossible for me until recently, but through God’s grace I can now do it and find peace in it. So offering my hurt to Jesus for the sake of the person who hurt me helps both that person and me. I wonder if God will allow the painful memories to haunt me so I can carry on praying for this person. He sustains me and gives me hope that all will be well…
Click to expand...
I really like this part of your reflection, Contra Mundum. Thanks for sharing your insight with us.
 
I’ve had to do some healing of my own of recent and in the past. I’ve learned a few things this year that might help.

The Rosary makes a world of difference. I was praying and praying the Rosary, including when I had to swallow my pride and make that huge first step not only in forgiving but in asking forgiveness. The Grace delivered to me just when I needed it most, and the ease of the humility…was so amazing. The Divine Mercy also helped grant me that Grace, because of the overwhelming Mercy of His Sacrifice being so alive when I’m praying that.

I’ve also heard recently that, “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s an act.” It’s the act of forgiving that frees us, and we have do it willfully, over and over and over. Forgiveness isn’t for the one who wronged you; it’s for you. (Although, if I have wronged someone, I would love to know that they forgave me.) Similarly, prayer is not for God; it’s for us to communicate with Him, and for us to heal through prayer.

God bless you, and welcome home!
 
Hello ccmcmg,

thank you for your answer, it is helping me.

It’s so encouraging to hear about the power of the rosary in your life. I have started praying the rosary just a few days ago and have always felt at peace while praying and after.
Forgiveness isn’t for the one who wronged you; it’s for you
Click to expand...
This is a valuable perspective to me. Thinking of Forgiveness, one would usually assume that the forgiving victim is “generous” and the sinner is “lucky” to be forgiven. - But as you point out that’s not what forgiveness is really about. Rather forgiving is something I do to myself, not to the one who wronged me. So forgiving is an act primarily directed at myself not the sinner. But (as you also mention), it can be important to let the one who wronged us know, that we are forgiving him. - So that we actively help alleviate any feelings of guilt the other person might have.

Great new insights! Thank you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top