Healthy Disparity of Rite Marriages

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I wasn’t much of a Catholic before I met my wife. No deep theological difference; just a lot of stuff I didn’t fully understand (i.e. Theology of the Body) and a lot of sin.

Since meeting my wife I have become fully committed to being an observant Catholic, accepting all of the Church’s teaching. I now understand why it is important spiritually (saving my immortal soul) and practically: How can you hope to raise moral children in our degenerate society unless you agree on matters of faith and morals?

Find a good Catholic girl. Trust me on this one, it’s better in ALL aspects.

God Bless
 
Chela said:
Hello,
This is the second time I will have posted something here. The first time didn’t work obviously because I didn’t get a response. Anyway, My story is VERY long. To make it short, my husband and I will have been married for 4 years in october. We are working on getting him legal residency to the US. Currently, he will have been out of the US for 1year in october. I have thought long and hard. Cried, gotten mad, felt guilty and awhole other mix of emotions have come about that I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. He is an alcoholic and did drugs when he was here. I struggled to get payments and other obligations through. We have 2 beautiful little (2and1) girls and I feel that I can NOT and should NOT expose them to his behavior anymore. I have told him that I do not want to be with him anymore and to please accept the fact that I am NOT “IN LOVE” with him anymore.—He will not accept it and swears up and down that he is changing and he wants me to give him another chance. I CAN’T find it in my heart to give him that chance anymore. Not after 3 years of the same crud we went through. I really would like to email someone to get it all out of me. If there is anyone willing to email back and forth–mainly for advise and support more than anything,I would GREATLY appreciate it.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS,
Chela
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Maybe you should start a thread in the Family Life forum. I am not a women and have not faced these issues, but I know there are many members who have faced problems with their husbands and can give good advice.

Sorry I can’t be helpful with advise, but I didn’t want your post to go unanswered.

I will say a prayer for you. Hail Mary…
 
Madaglan said:
Just wondering: what kind of spiritual dangers? Is it more than simply having one parent who wants to have the children pray to Mary, and the other who doesn’t?
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Spiritual dangers as in mortal sin commited for the “sake of the marriage”. Such as:

Abandoning the Catholic faith. The Catholic spouse attending Mass every Sundays or Holy Days of obligation may interfear with the non-Catholic spouse’s plans or for some other reason bother the spouse. It might cause conflict. That may develop into complete abandonment of practicing Catholicism, which may or may not be replaced with practicing the spouse’s denomination.

Not raising the children Catholic. Conflicts often begin shortly after the couple has a child. There is a huge difference between agreeing how to raise a non-existant theoretical child verses a real flesh-and-blood child. Some Protestant spouses may object to infant baptism. Some may just object to devoting one night a week at CCD. In any case, it is a lot to ask someone to raise children in a faith that the parent does not believe.

Speaking of children, here’s another huge issue: Not lovingly accepting children from God. Contraception is very common in our culture and few Protestants have ever even considered that it offends God, (Catholics should have at least heard that.) The Bible calls children a gift from God; the Church calls children the “supreme gift of marriage”. Telling God we don’t want His “wedding gifts” by contracepting is a serious sin. Even worse, some liberal mainstream Protestant churches don’t just accept contraception, but also abortion. Should a difficulty arrise in pregnancy, non-Catholic clergy may even counsel the non-Catholic spouse to abort.

You don’t have girl in mind to marry and your future children are simply theoretical at this point. Be careful. Marriage is “two become one”; do not underestimate the power in that. Find a nice Catholic girl.
 
The devil will try to attack all marriages regardless if both spouses are catholic or not. I married a protestant (although not a devote one). My advice would be to make sure you get the basics worked out before you marry (ie. Baptisms of future children, contraception, church offerings) and let him know how much your faith means to you. Continuously pray for your marriage and be prepared for sacrifices. Be prepared to instruct your family in the teachings of the church as well as his relatives who may be misinformed. If you do this, you may have a happy healthy marriage.
 
In my family all such marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics (or between practicing Catholics and lax Catholics) and I am thinking of 14 just off the top of my head, all have ended in neither partner practicing the Catholic faith today, none of their children being Catholic today, although some were baptized and catechized, and even in most cases, both parties drifting away from their religion. If one’s faith in God is not foundational to one’s identity and manner of living, it seems it cannot be strong enough to outweigh any earthly affection.
 
I agree. I converted at the age of 15 and most of the people who converted with me had married Catholic spouses, which started them on the path to conversion.

I’m in a relationship with a non-Catholic. While he does like to tease me about it occasionally, he understands why I became Catholic and defends me against anti-Catholic attacks. He knows that if he were to marry me to expect a Church wedding, no birth control, and Catholic kids. As for whether we’ll be married or not, that’s up to God. I pray about it and right now, I hear, “Stay, be there for him, and get to know him better.” He’s also my best friend, so we just get each other
 
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