Great answers, I’ll have to look into St. Therese of Avila and St. John of the Cross. I usually try to stay away from the Mystics just cause I have a fear I’m going to find myself in them lol.
As much as I would love to say Tums would help this one…it doesn’t lol. I’ve tried that.
As for you Sparrow, here goes. My prayer life is…interestingly complicated. I spend a lot of time in prayer, only had to cut back lately cause I’m in my last semester in college and its a hard load this semester. Usually I’ll pray almost unceasingly. When I’m sitting around in public I’ll listen to Christian music and sing or hum along, when I’m alone and not doing homework, I’m prayer. I usually do the Liturgy of the Hours in the Morning, Daytime, Evening and Night. Now that doesn’t sound complicated, but then there’s the second part of my prayer life that only one person has really seen, sort of. I enter into states of prayer in ecstasy, it happens every once in a while. For me the last time was at the end of January. I was on the March for Life in Washington DC and we were in the Vigil Mass. I had just spent the entire mass with my favorite person, she’s my best friend and we’ve known each other for over a year now, more of her later. After receiving communion, I came back to my little spot and sat down. My usual prayer involves something along the lines of “Have mercy on me a Sinner oh God, Have mercy on me a sinner!” and I’ll pray a little bit and repeat that about 3 times again, rinse and repeat. I also usually gaze on the crucifix and place myself back at calvary to re-enter into my Savior’s death.
This particular occasion, I was kneeling there and I could feel Christ’s presence starting to wash over me, its pretty easy to tale, I’ll get this fear of the Lord feeling, start shaking and I’ll start reliving the crucifixion of our Lord more earnestly. I’ll watch him be whipped, beat, made fun of, I’ll watch him carry the cross, watch him fall all three times, get to calvary and be crucified. After the nails are driven through, I’m usually in tears, my heart will sometimes start to burn ever so slightly, just a comforting pain. When my eyes usually re-hit the cross that is when I am enter in. In this particular situation and day, I just sort of had my eyes fixed on the cross and I began to pray for God’s strength, his courage, for him to be my everything, guide me and keep me in his grace. I asked him about some personal stuff, mostly vocation since I have been discerning the Priesthood for over a year and a half, and even though the answer keeps coming back no, I keep trying praying it’ll change lol. Well the main part of this story comes once we stood up, my knees were weak, I was still shaking and standing wasn’t helping things. My eyes were still fixed on the cross, and then it was like a voice from within side of me, in the silent part of my heart just speak to me and the words were not just coming out that quiet part of my heart, but they were coming out of my mouth and my heart was all tingly burny feeling, but I didn’t care, I was wrapped up in what I was hearing “I love you Son, know that I’m always with you and your never alone, even when the times are hard, when you can’t feel me within you, when you don’t know and you doubt, be of good faith for I stand beside you now and forever to lead you and guide you always.” That was the basic sum it was pretty long.
Now the weird part, my friend beside me asked me what I was praying, she said “You were freaking the people behind you out, and I knew you were saying something, but it wasn’t english.” I know what I heard, it sounded like english but to the people around me the things I was saying, they couldn’t understand.
This is just one example of prayer life, or the intensity of it anyways. When I am in these intense moments of prayer, the world around me is nothing, time stops and its just me and Christ. I’m always in a sense of peace, so its not like I’m tensed up or anything, just a sincere sense of peace.
As for the someone, its my friend in the last story, she’s my best friend and I’ve liked her for a while, she’s knows it, her boyfriend knows it too, which is the reason why its been driving a wedge between our friendship lately. The last time, with her well was tonight, I was thinking about her, the times we’ve spent together, etc and I got a small burning sensation. We’ve really had some rough spots lately, mainly her boyfriend sees me as a threat so…naturally she pushed me a way for a while. The day after Ash Wednesday, she apologized, realized that she actually missed me and felt bad for trying to push me away. My heart was burning ever so slowly that night when we had another talk about if I was going to actually take her back in, especially after she literally cold shouldered me for a month and a half. I could hear God saying, This is it. Now what that means, I don’t know, guess I’ll find out later lol. I know I have had thoughts about pushing her away myself but after yesterday, I don’t see that happening. Yesterday, I got lost around one of the bigger towns here where I live, I didn’t know where I was, but I decided that I would go down and see the Franciscans. I didn’t want to see her, talk to her or think about her, I just wanted to put her behind me. Well I get lost, and I don’t know where I am, and I end up at her home parish. Yea…I try running to the Franciscans to get away from her and I end up at her home parish. Still processing that one. My heart was burning the moment I entered the Sanctuary, I could feel Christ there, and I wanted her there with me.
Anyways, as for the rib thing, it comes and goes, its the more unusual effect that I don’t get as much, just every now and then. The primary one is the Heart burning and that’s the one I’m still trying to figure out.
Sorry for the long message.
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