Heartbreak - Missed Confession again

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DrPiano

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Hey All,

Guess I just need a safe place to get this down, and maybe get a few comforting words.

My Parish, through the Grace of God, has the most opportunities for confession in the entire area. But, also through the Grace of God, those confessions are packed - at least the ones that I can currently get to. You have to get there before confession starts to even have a chance at getting yours heard - and even then there’s no guarantee.

About six months ago, I found myself in a situation where I needed confession. I went (early even, I think. Maybe it was right on time) and just before I could get to the front of the line, the head altar server said that confessions were over, so Father could prepare for Mass. I stayed for Mass that time and sobbed my way through the service. It was gut-wrenching to know I needed confession, that I couldn’t receive confession, and that on top of that, I couldn’t receive Jesus in the Eucharist.

So, I’ve been putting mine off for months. Until this week it was mostly a lot of venial sins - stuff that I could use a lot of help and grace in rooting out of my life. God had been laying on my heart a much bigger Sin that needed confessing, but I tried to rationalize it away - until this week. This week, I realized that I absolutely needed confession - and that I couldn’t let it wait any longer. My husband and I left early for a less-attended Mass, trying to get there before it started. And for reasons out of my control, we didn’t get there quite as early as I had hoped. I was the next in line to confess when the head server came up, asked if I was in line, and told me that I wouldn’t have an opportunity to go tonight.

I was heartbroken. I left the church, crying my eyes out and headed home. I’m planning to try again tomorrow, but it still hurts a lot. I don’t really blame anyone (although I really wish there were more opportunities)… except its a little hard for me to not yell at God right now. If that makes any sense. I finally listened to him, finally realized how badly I needed confession, and agreed to go, and now I can’t. It’s dumb, I know, but since its happened more than once, its hard for me to say He’s not just toying with me. (one of those tapes Satan likes to try to play in my head). And it just makes me ache inside.

Anyway, I guess that was more a rant than anything else. I just really had to get it out.
 
:hug1: I know this can really hurt and something like this has happened to me too several times.

I think that God allows this to help us develop greater trust in Him (we only learn when it’s difficult to trust)… no matter what it’s important to always believe in His goodness

I hope you’ll get to go to Confession soon, I’ll say a prayer for you. But remember Jesus really loves you and He’s not toying with you or punishing you, but giving you an opportunity to grow spiritually.

God bless
 
DrPiano said:
Hey All,

Guess I just need a safe place to get this down, and maybe get a few comforting words.

My Parish, through the Grace of God, has the most opportunities for confession in the entire area. But, also through the Grace of God, those confessions are packed - at least the ones that I can currently get to. You have to get there before confession starts to even have a chance at getting yours heard - and even then there’s no guarantee.

About six months ago, I found myself in a situation where I needed confession. I went (early even, I think. Maybe it was right on time) and just before I could get to the front of the line, the head altar server said that confessions were over, so Father could prepare for Mass. I stayed for Mass that time and sobbed my way through the service. It was gut-wrenching to know I needed confession, that I couldn’t receive confession, and that on top of that, I couldn’t receive Jesus in the Eucharist.

So, I’ve been putting mine off for months. Until this week it was mostly a lot of venial sins - stuff that I could use a lot of help and grace in rooting out of my life. God had been laying on my heart a much bigger Sin that needed confessing, but I tried to rationalize it away - until this week. This week, I realized that I absolutely needed confession - and that I couldn’t let it wait any longer. My husband and I left early for a less-attended Mass, trying to get there before it started. And for reasons out of my control, we didn’t get there quite as early as I had hoped. I was the next in line to confess when the head server came up, asked if I was in line, and told me that I wouldn’t have an opportunity to go tonight.

I was heartbroken. I left the church, crying my eyes out and headed home. I’m planning to try again tomorrow, but it still hurts a lot. I don’t really blame anyone (although I really wish there were more opportunities)… except its a little hard for me to not yell at God right now. If that makes any sense. I finally listened to him, finally realized how badly I needed confession, and agreed to go, and now I can’t. It’s dumb, I know, but since its happened more than once, its hard for me to say He’s not just toying with me. (one of those tapes Satan likes to try to play in my head). And it just makes me ache inside.

Anyway, I guess that was more a rant than anything else. I just really had to get it out.
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Telephone your priest & tell him exactly what you`ve written here . He will remedy your problem.
Love & peace in Christ.:knight2:
 
Im so sorry you have had this worry over confession.Would you be able to ring and make an appointment to see Father and ask him then to give you a cinfession outside of normal confession times.This is what i have done in the past when i have needed to go urgently or could not make appropriate confessional times.God bless
 
tbcrawford said:
Im so sorry you have had this worry over confession.Would you be able to ring and make an appointment to see Father and ask him then to give you a cinfession outside of normal confession times.This is what i have done in the past when i have needed to go urgently or could not make appropriate confessional times.God bless
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I would suggest calling the priest and making an appointment for confession. Also, discuss with Father that the limited times for confession are not adequate.
 
DrPiano said:
Hey All,
About six months ago, I found myself in a situation where I needed confession. I went (early even, I think. Maybe it was right on time) and just before I could get to the front of the line, the head altar server said that confessions were over, so Father could prepare for Mass. I stayed for Mass that time and sobbed my way through the service. It was gut-wrenching to know I needed confession, that I couldn’t receive confession, and that on top of that, I couldn’t receive Jesus in the Eucharist.
Anyway, I guess that was more a rant than anything else. I just really had to get it out.
Click to expand...
did you ask the priest to stay after Mass and hear your confession. Almost always when there are still people in line the priest comes back after Mass. Did you call the next day and make an appointment? That also is always an option.
 
Of course make an act of perfect contrition…i imagine you have already been doing that perhaps…

and still seek to come to Jesus in prayer…for he came for those with sin…he is the Good Shepherd and loves you…

and certainly you can call the priest up…or any other priest in the area and go over and make your confession…so you do not have to wait 🙂

oh and PS…regarding venial sins…these can be forgiven in many ways…so do not wait for confession for forgiveness of them (not to say that you did) …though as you said one gets particular grace etc in the Sacrament…and of course it is recommended to confess venial sins too 🙂
 
Hey - as a follow up, I went this morning (the next day), which was my plan all along. I went extra early and was the first in line. WHEW! I might talk to our priest about it but I have some other questions that came up during the course of the morning regarding confession and conscience and such so I think I’m going to start by making an appointment to have a chat with one of our deacons. Seems a little easier, at least at the moment. :o Mostly, I just needed somewhere to cry last night - but everything is all better now.

Last night I was wondering why God would let it happen - but I think I figured out at least one of the many reasons. Today they had the special rite for the candidates - and since I just converted last year, it was really cool to see the rite from this side of the Easter Vigil. I don’t normally attend the early service, so I would have missed it otherwise. I know there are a lot of factors involved (free will and such) but it’s nice to see how God worked a really painful situation for good anyway.

Oh, and the priest said that our Saturday morning confession goes until everyone gets heard, so I suppose I can’t say there aren’t enough times… its just very difficult for me to make that one 😊 I think I’ll try hard to go then at least once a month. Its a good habit to get into. 🤷
 
I’m glad to see you were able to get to confession. I go to the cathedral since it’s easiest to get to, but there are times (primarily in Lent and Advent) where there is a line and I don’t get to confess (I usually go on my lunch hour, so waiting through noon mass and going after isn’t practical). There is a couple of things I always remind myself when I’m standing in line, waiting and hoping to get in the door before the priest has to prep for mass…

Remember that the person in front of you may be a greater sinner than I, and that they may need the priestly counsel and healing power of the sacrament more than I. I hope the priest will take as much time as appropriate with them, as I hope they would take with me during my confession. I must also remember that the person in front of me may have been away from the sacrament for many years, and this day may have been the day they found the strength to come back to God.

Even when I don’t get in to confession (which usually happens once or twice a year), I still can walk out the door knowing that, while I didn’t receive forgiveness that day, others did, and that is cause for much celebration in Heaven. Besides, I can always come back the next day.
 
Please make an appointment for confession. You can always ask a priest to hear your confession outside of their regular times–even if your parish offers many scheduled opportunities. Even if the next scheduled time was a Wednesday, if you are ready to confess a mortal sin on Tuesday–call and ask!

Lent in particular is a time when Mother Church encourages all her children to repent and confess. Figure out the confession schedules of all the parishes you pass in your normal travel, but if even that doesn’t work for you–please, please call and ask!
 
btw OP and others in a similar situation do a real service in your parish of you relate your concerns and experience to you priest, some of them really don’t understand the reality that some people are shut out of the opportunity to confess, and problems could by solved by simple changes and better communication.
 
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