I
ivycath
Guest
This was me:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=579106
The break ended up lasting for much longer than expected – about 7 months.
In that time, I learned a lot about myself, and worked through a lot of the roadblocks that had made our relationship difficult for me, and made me feel like I needed time away. In the end, I came to realize that I loved him. That he was perfect for me. That I wanted to be with him, more than I ever had before and in a much deeper, less superficial way.
However, the break hurt him too much – much more than I realized. He would be humiliated by getting back together with me, and is honestly afraid of me because of how badly losing me, or the thought of losing me, hurt him – he doesn’t want to be put in that situation again. He doesn’t have any interest in being with me again, has put his feelings for me away, because he refuses to be hurt.
I understand where he’s coming from and don’t blame him. I know that taking a break was the right thing to do, but I should have ended it sooner. I blame myself. And my heart is broken.
I don’t know… It seems cruel that God would prepare me for him in this way, and then annihilate the ending. I know that he has a plan for me and that this, whatever is happening now, is according to his will. But the pain is unreal and my regrets are so strong and so bitter.
The other thing is that I can’t really move on. I can’t crush the still, small hope that his heart will soften and things will change and we’ll be together again. I’ve begged God to take this hope away because it’s keeping me from accepting the truth of the situation, but it persists.
Anyway – please pray for me, that I can accept the situation and let go and follow the will the God has for me, as well as not become bitter with regret. And for him – that he is able to heal.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=579106
The break ended up lasting for much longer than expected – about 7 months.
In that time, I learned a lot about myself, and worked through a lot of the roadblocks that had made our relationship difficult for me, and made me feel like I needed time away. In the end, I came to realize that I loved him. That he was perfect for me. That I wanted to be with him, more than I ever had before and in a much deeper, less superficial way.
However, the break hurt him too much – much more than I realized. He would be humiliated by getting back together with me, and is honestly afraid of me because of how badly losing me, or the thought of losing me, hurt him – he doesn’t want to be put in that situation again. He doesn’t have any interest in being with me again, has put his feelings for me away, because he refuses to be hurt.
I understand where he’s coming from and don’t blame him. I know that taking a break was the right thing to do, but I should have ended it sooner. I blame myself. And my heart is broken.
I don’t know… It seems cruel that God would prepare me for him in this way, and then annihilate the ending. I know that he has a plan for me and that this, whatever is happening now, is according to his will. But the pain is unreal and my regrets are so strong and so bitter.
The other thing is that I can’t really move on. I can’t crush the still, small hope that his heart will soften and things will change and we’ll be together again. I’ve begged God to take this hope away because it’s keeping me from accepting the truth of the situation, but it persists.
Anyway – please pray for me, that I can accept the situation and let go and follow the will the God has for me, as well as not become bitter with regret. And for him – that he is able to heal.
