Heaven or Hell??

[FTKOG]

I don’t know where to post this and I wonder if there will be someone would be annoyed… Sorry, please just ignore this.

It is all about the concept of salvation - that up until now I don’t know what really is. Will i be on heaven or hell?

Well, if you won’t mind, I will tell a story.

I was raised by my parents as catholic and graduated from a Catholic high school. From there I learned about GOD how loving HE is, some Catholic traditions etc… I won’t go it detail about my h.s life since I had a trauma about dealing with my former teachers.

Well, I can say it was somehow great memories since it feels so good to think that despite hardships and trials, I managed to graduate (because i managed to stay from committing suicide haha) from high school.

The night of graduation is one of the nights i will never forget. Sitting there waiting for my diploma, I can’t stop myself asking:

“Is it really worth it?..
spending 4 years of my life learning cowering the crowds… pitying myself.
Is it really worth it?..
saying ‘I will follow the LORD until the end’…but I know…Deep inside,… I am bleeding.
Is it really worth it?..
Unable to give my best for those years, failing to enjoy my youth because of insecurities.
Is it really worth it?..
Afraid and insecure each and every day. Wishing to disappear.
Is it really worth it?..
Breathing in my own stupidity”

Yet, somehow i managed to get my diplomas. And go on with the night hiding my emotions with a smile.
…

Months after graduation, it was time for college life. With the help of my parents, I managed to build new hope. And say to myself: “I will start a new life”.

It was indeed a new beginning for me. I started to learn things in life and meet professors that was good in teaching and inspiring.

It was indeed a good start despite the fact that I still feel different from normal guys.

But not long before when i became the topic of one of the group in my class that I try to avoid. Well this guys are not that bad when you will think. They’re just a group of guys who just fail to understand what harm can they say towards other people.

I became there topic that day. I find it insulting for what they have said. But what can i do? It is really true that : “truth hurts”

well yeah, can i blame them?..for saying i look like a dweeb? an unsocial kiddo? a lame person?.. I know they’re just saying who i really was.

I cannot forget that day. That they when my faith started to have a crack.

…

days go on and I still keep on going. It’s time for new semester and i am excited to meet my new professors.

to bad for me when I found out that one of my teacher was a Mason.

He taught us things about life. I know that some of his point of view are against the teachings of my religion but what can i do when he hits the critical parts of my belief?

I can still remember when he said: “Then who dictates MORALITY? The bible does? Who is GOD? Where is your GOD when you need him?”

that “need Him” part shook my faith. I admit it’s my defeat. I began to question God…where He really is at those times? why did i have to be like this?

I know for those months, I became a ‘blind man’. I said to GOD: “I had enough! Yes KILL me now! What can I do but cry! I wish i could Kill myself But I can’t! For this life is not mine! It is for you to see me suffer! If i kill myself now i know i will be in hell for i have failed to entertain you.”

It’s not the exact words that i said but that’s the concept. I really said such things to Him.

…

again months passed by and I know I became an atheist. I did not go to church anymore and cease on praying.

…But not long before I experienced the greatest trial in my life. It’s the month where everything i do…even plan starts to fail.

yes, Everything i try to do fail. My grades, financial problem etc. It was “no hope” for me… Again i wished to disappear. To sleep but never wake up.

days and days keep on passing. And there was this night when i prayed: “God give me a sign”

and the next day:

…

I came to fully know this 2 classmate of mine… Her name is **** haha and the other one is a guy named ****

well this two became friends of mine and shared stories with them. I told some of my sad stories and they’re there listening to a demon like me. xD

this two became my friend. Unlike my false friends in the past, i know they’re real friends.

there was this night again that i prayed to GOD: “Lord help me with my studies”

and yes! He did not failed me!

I can’t help myself but cry back to Him…and started to ask for His forgiveness for all i have done.

Little by little i regained my faith and up until now, i am in the process of healing.

…

wew… thanks for reading.

if you find this annoying sorry. It’s just that, this day is not that good for me and I started to hit the keyboard.

 

[ProdglArchitect]

Your final resting place is not determined until the moment of your death; and no one here can make any judgement as to the current state of your soul.

I had a bit of trouble following your post, but the gist of it seems to be that you are sorry for the wrongs you have done in your life and are actively working to reconcile yourself to God. If that’s the case, then I certainly hope you can still make it into Heaven, otherwise I’m in trouble

 

[R_C]

It is all about the concept of salvation - that up until now I don’t know what really is. Will i be on heaven or hell?

Your call!

Only you can chose whether you accept or reject God.

In His Church and through His Sacraments we find the ordinary means of salvation, and the most perfect way to Christ. In Baptism we receive sanctifying grace and become children of God and brothers of Christ, and through Confession sanctifying grace is restored and we are reconciled with Christ every time we offend him gravely. As Pope Francis said yesterday:

the face of God is that of a merciful father, who always has patience. Have you thought about God’s patience, the patience that he has for each of us? That is his mercy. He always has patience, patience with us, he understands us, he waits for us, he does not weary of forgiving us if we know how to return to him with a contrite heart. Great is the mercy of the Lord, the Psalm says.

Let us not forget this: God never wearies of forgiving us, never! So, father, whats the problem? Well, the problem is that we grow weary, we do not want to, we tire of asking for forgiveness. He never tires of forgiving, but we, at times, we tire of asking forgiveness. Let us never tire, let us never tire! He is the loving Father, who always forgives, who has that heart of mercy for all of us. And we too learn to be merciful with everyone.

It is a timeless truth that the Father gave all judgment to the Son (John 5:22), who became man and revealed that He does not judge anyone (John 8:15, 12:47) because God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him (John 3:17). He also revealed how was this to be done, by teaching us that He did not come to call righteous, but sinners to repentance (Luke 5:32), so that salvation and eternal life in heaven were freely merited by and offered to all by Christ, but the choice of accepting His grace and of “working out salvation” (Philippians 2:12) is in our own hands.

And this is the judgment:

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.

But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

You come to a place where members of the Church gather, and tell us a story, a story of your life. You do not seem to fear the light!

How close is your relationship with Christ in the Eucharist? Do you realize the miracle of unbounded love that takes place as Christ dwells in the consecrated host, longing for nothing but to give Himself to you fully? He, the living God, not just waiting for you to fall in love with Him who is Love itself and go to Him, but longing to give Himself to you!

I invite you to go to Him as often as possible, so that this seraphic fire that I can see in your heart be kindled even more. Speak to a priest without any worry or fear, for he is the instrument through which Christ gives His divine forgiveness and dispenses His divine grace, and then receive Him in the Eucharist often, very often! Then your whole soul will never again ask the question: where will I be? For a song will arise from deep within, that says: “heaven! I prefer heaven!” and you will simply follow Him to the best of your ability, with simplicity, listening to the teachings He gave to the Church for us, knowing that no matter where he leads you, even if it may hurt sometimes, ultimately He is going to the Father, in the heavenly abode of infinite, eternal joy.

Contemplate Me in the prison where I spent the greater part of the night.

Compare the prison with the Tabernacle… and especially with the hearts that receive Me. "In the prison I spent only part of one night… but in the Tabernacle, how many days and nights?

"And how often should I wait for this or that other soul to visit Me in the Blessed Sacrament and receive Me into his heart… how many nights should I spend longing for his coming… but he would let business or carelessness or anxiety for his health get the better of him… and he would not come!

O! if they would thus unite themselves to Me, with what peace would they face difficulties… how much fortitude they would win and how they would gladden My Heart!

I love souls so dearly that I have sacrificed My life for them. It is this love that keeps Me a prisoner in the tabernacle. For nearly twenty centuries I have dwelt there, night and day, veiled under the species of Bread and concealed in the small white Host, bearing through love, neglect, solitude, contempt, blasphemies, outrages, sacrileges.

For love of souls, I instituted the Sacrament of Penance, that I might forgive them, not once or twice, but as often as they need it to recover grace. There I wait for them, longing to wash away their sins, not in water, but in My Blood.

Now, I want something more, for if I long for love in response to My own, this is not the only return I desire from souls: I want them all to have confidence in My mercy, to expect all from My clemency, and never to doubt My readiness to forgive. I am God, but a God of love!

Never shall I weary of repentant sinners, nor cease from hoping for their return, and the greater their distress, the greater My welcome. Does not a father love a sick child with special affection? Are not his care and solicitude greater? So is the tenderness and compassion of My Heart more abundant for sinners than for the just. This is what I wish all to know.

 

[CR89er]

Don’t listen to Freemasons.

 

[FTKOG]

Many Thanks R_C! that clears things up. Thank you really. It helped me a lot.

 

[R_C]

Many Thanks R_C! that clears things up. Thank you really. It helped me a lot.

I am very glad!