Heavy dilemmas

[mkdl_v17]

These dilemmas aren’t solved by mere happiness alone (how can I be truly happy if I’m still clueless about my own self). It takes prayer, forgiveness, understanding, and compassion help me get on with life much further.

#1: When it comes to socializing and personality and career development, and I feel like I’m one generation behind, as in that I could “belong” to the generation of their children, more like Generation Z or after that because I’m somewhat a “late bloomer” when it comes to mental and emotional maturity (I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome) and how much I fully understand the teachings of the Church. Technically, I should belong to the same generation as my high school classmates (but living under an environment of delinquency, having persisted until now), but I’m obliged that I would consider myself “subordinate” to them in the sense that they are considered “elders” in the same context as ancestors, such as having to greet, for example, Sarah Geronimo, as “Tita Sarah” rather than just “Ate Sarah”.

Side note: I experienced a different kind of inferiority. Not that based on material goods, but on who has fewer mistakes and the cleanest reputation. I’ll be turning twenty-one this March, but because of numerous failures I had experienced over the years, I think my celebration would not be as “sophisticated” as that of my contemporaries.

More dilemmas to be discussed later on.

 

[Parce_Domine]

When you compare yourself to others, you see yourself as inferior because they do. God created you according to His will. You have a unique purpose in life, although you might not know what it is. Don’t look at yourself through your peers’ eyes, but see yourself as a beautiful child of God that is growing at the pace that God set, not the pace that the societies of this world set. Some people bloom more slowly, and Aspergers adds an additional challenge when dealing with other people. Just do your best each day. Try to do what is right, be kind, and worry less about the opinions of your peers. If they think less of you just for your challenges, then pray for them; they need it. God loves you, and that’s far more important. There will also always be people that love you, too, and I respect you for your honesty in your post. God bless you.

 

[mkdl_v17]

Thank you very much. No need to worry about the past.

#2: I am able to go to confession (somewhat every four weeks if I find out I had mortal sin), but I have a hectic class schedule from Monday to Friday (no classes on Saturday normally). I know of only one convenient timeslot for confession and it is at the Malolos Cathedral, Saturday, 5:00 - 6:00 PM, if and only if I have schoolwork to do on Saturday, giving me a good reason to go there after the job gets done. However, I do not know yet of any churches within the Bulacan province where I can undergo confession at a very convenient time, just before an implicit curfew of 6:00 PM (or later if seriously needed).

I still live with my parents, but I do not want to think about being self-righteous and that statement “just say sorry to God and all your sins are forgiven” because I believe such presumptions are indeed mortal sins. I know I have to confess to return to the state of grace, but I guess my family has no problems with watching pirated Korean TV dramas and action movies and also downloading pirated software just because they cannot afford properly-licensed ones (seems like a “practical” thing for most Filipinos, right, as if for example, “a pirated Windows operating system is better than a free-and-open-source but unfamiliar operating system like Ubuntu because they are used to Windows than anything else”). As a son, I should make my family understand why should they undergo confession before receiving the Eucharist without breaking the commandment about honoring one’s parents. What must I do?

 

[Parce_Domine]

I wasn’t ignoring your post. I’ve been offline for several days and was just able to get back on a few hours ago. I’m not sure how to handle the situation with your parents. You’re right about it being a thin line between correcting the sinner and honoring your parents. I wouldn’t know how to handle that, either. (Actually, I should admit that I didn’t know how to handle it. I usually ended up arguing with my mom, and that’s no good.) I can’t help you with this one, but maybe my response will bump your thread back up so that someone that can help with your dilemma will see it. Of course, as always, pray and pray about it.