Heavy heart...

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rsrn06

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I am feeling very badly lately because although I love my faith and try to live my faith daily, I am failing in the most important aspect of all. I haven’t been to church in over a year. And what’s worse is, because I haven’t been going, my kids (13 and 15) haven’t been either. I pray with my kids daily and they have a strong foundation in the Catholic faith, having, up until this past year, attended Catholic school.

I am wracked with guilt and my heart is so heavy because I know this is a bad thing and I am setting a very poor example. I work nights and on Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings, I am either getting ready to go to work or sleeping. My husband is not Catholic and is not comfortable taking the kids to church on his own.

I know I can find some Mass schedule that will work for me, but I feel like I have been away for so long, I am not worthy to even start going back. I am sad and overwhelmed to the point of tears. I just wanted to get this off my chest…

R
 
rsrn06 said:
I am feeling very badly lately because although I love my faith and try to live my faith daily, I am failing in the most important aspect of all. I haven’t been to church in over a year. And what’s worse is, because I haven’t been going, my kids (13 and 15) haven’t been either. I pray with my kids daily and they have a strong foundation in the Catholic faith, having, up until this past year, attended Catholic school.

I am wracked with guilt and my heart is so heavy because I know this is a bad thing and I am setting a very poor example. I work nights and on Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings, I am either getting ready to go to work or sleeping. My husband is not Catholic and is not comfortable taking the kids to church on his own.

I know I can find some Mass schedule that will work for me, but I feel like I have been away for so long, I am not worthy to even start going back. I am sad and overwhelmed to the point of tears. I just wanted to get this off my chest…

R
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I would think that it would be so much better to go and make a good confession to a Priest and get back to going to Church instead of remaining “wracked with guilt”. None of us are worthy, but God’s grace makes it possible for those who love Him. My thought is don’t worry about how long you have been away, just go to confession and start back to Church. I was away from Church for about 20 years. Jesus will certainly forgive you if you ask Him to and you make an effort to get back to Church. I am sure He misses you as much as you miss Him.
 
rsrn06 said:
I am feeling very badly lately because although I love my faith and try to live my faith daily, I am failing in the most important aspect of all. I haven’t been to church in over a year. And what’s worse is, because I haven’t been going, my kids (13 and 15) haven’t been either. I pray with my kids daily and they have a strong foundation in the Catholic faith, having, up until this past year, attended Catholic school.

I am wracked with guilt and my heart is so heavy because I know this is a bad thing and I am setting a very poor example. I work nights and on Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings, I am either getting ready to go to work or sleeping. My husband is not Catholic and is not comfortable taking the kids to church on his own.

I know I can find some Mass schedule that will work for me, but I feel like I have been away for so long, I am not worthy to even start going back. I am sad and overwhelmed to the point of tears. I just wanted to get this off my chest…

R
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Jesus knows how you feel, and after a good confession you’ll be “right as rain”. Many churches have afternoon/early evening Sunday Masses for you to attend. Another possibility is your own catechesis of your children (after they are on fire, they may be able to talk your husband into taking them, too) and a dispensation from your priest due to your hours and need for sleep.🤷
 
Lakotak’s advice is good. I would add that I think it would be good to make an appointment with the parish priest and talk this over with him. Your kids are at that age where they really need to see that good example, and they are obligated to attend Mass on every Sunday, too. Work can be a legitimate reason to miss Mass on Sunday (though it isn’t always), but you should be going to Mass at some time. Talk to your priest about this and make a concerted effort to get a schedule down that works.

Have you talked to your husband about how you feel? I would think that if he knew how much it was tearing you up inside, he would want to suck it up and take the kids to Mass to bring you that sense of peace. After all, when you were married, he would have promised to raise the kids Catholic, which includes taking them to Mass.
 
Going to mass regularly is a habit. Once you break that habit, it gets easier and easier to just make an excuse, to just stay away. If you force yourself to go in the beginning it will take some effort. But think of the benefits! You’ll be developing a friendship with Jesus. If your kids don’t want to go at first, go by yourself. You’ll become stronger in your faith and then you can persuade your kids to follow suit. It’s like using the oxygen mask on an airplane where they say to put it on yourself first and then help your child.
The idea of going to confession first is a good one, but don’t put it off or you’ll continue on the path you’ve been on for the last year.
I wish you the best with this.
 
Don’t worry about how long you have been away. I was away far longer and the best thing I ever did was talk to my parish priest, go to confession, and try as hard as I can every day to be the best Catholic I can be. Just by telling us this makes me think you want to do it. Don’t wait another day. I know you will feel the peace and love of God after you do. God bless.
 
rsrn06 said:
I know I can find some Mass schedule that will work for me, but I feel like I have been away for so long, I am not worthy to even start going back
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I have been pretty much going to Mass every Sunday for over 40 years and I sometimes *still *feel I am not worthy to go. :o

But you know what? God doesn’t want to see a Church full of the worthy or unworthy. He wants to see a Church full of His children. He knows who we are and yet He still loves us because He sees how much better we can be, no matter where we are with our faith.

Here’s your homwork: Grab your Bible and read Luke 15:11-32. It’s a story about some kid who ran off from his dad, wasted his money and then came home hungry and unworthy to enter his father’s house. Turns out pretty good - seems no matter how unworthy the son was, dad was just waiting for him to come home.

Here’s your extra credit: Go to Mass this Sunday. Don’t worry about confession if you can’t get there before then (just don’t receive). Don’t worry about saying the parts of the Mass. Don’t worry about other people. Don’t worry about the homily. Just go and sit there and let Him talk to you. Welcome home.
 
Go to confession and start going…You think you are the only sinner?..We all sin…look up to Jesus, start going to Mass and stop beating yourself up…It’s never too late to start going to Mass…🙂
 
Your husband wouldn’t have to attend Mass with the children, he could just be their chauffeur. May dad did this for a few months when I was a teenager and my mom and I had different mass attending schedules.
 
I was horribly ashamed when I had to take my kids out of Catholic school, and found it hard to go to Mass.

Know what I found?

I was the only one embarrassed. My friends missed me, and even better, when I stepped into the Church, and saw Him on His Cross…I knew that He missed me even more.

I love the way you intro’d the prodigal son…we are all prodigal children…go, He’s waiting! 👍
 
dear rsrn,

please stop worrying. find a mass you can attend either sat or sun. go to confession and take the children to church so they can see mommy receiving communion. He will forgive you but you have to go confession and back to church. take care.

for you.

COME, HOLY SPIRIT
Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love,. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created and you will renew the face of the earth.

Lord, by the light of the Holy Spirit you have taught the hearts of your faithful. In the same Spirit help us to relish what is right and always rejoice in your consolation. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen
 
rsrn06 said:
I am feeling very badly lately because although I love my faith and try to live my faith daily, I am failing in the most important aspect of all. I haven’t been to church in over a year. And what’s worse is, because I haven’t been going, my kids (13 and 15) haven’t been either. I pray with my kids daily and they have a strong foundation in the Catholic faith, having, up until this past year, attended Catholic school.

I am wracked with guilt and my heart is so heavy because I know this is a bad thing and I am setting a very poor example. I work nights and on Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings, I am either getting ready to go to work or sleeping. My husband is not Catholic and is not comfortable taking the kids to church on his own.

I know I can find some Mass schedule that will work for me, but I feel like I have been away for so long, I am not worthy to even start going back. I am sad and overwhelmed to the point of tears. I just wanted to get this off my chest…

R
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don’t feel like it’s too late to go back or that you’re unworthy. :hug1: there are many people who come back to church after having been away for years and years. the Church welcomes everyone. Remember it’s not about being worthy…the Church helps us in our salvation by giving us the Sacraments. I hope you find a Mass schedule that works for you… don’t get discouraged! it’s ALWAYS possible (and good :)) to come back. I know some people are worried that the priest will judge them when they go to Confession after so long… but from what I’ve seen the priest will just be happy! 🙂 God bless!
 
\I know I can find some Mass schedule that will work for me, but I feel like I have been away for so long, I am not worthy to even start going back. I am sad and overwhelmed to the point of tears. I just wanted to get this off my chest…\

**You’re not the first one who stopped going to Mass for a time that God is calling back, and you won’t be the first one to have told this story in confession.

You did it here, right?

And don’t worry about worthiness. NONE of us is worthy, including the Pope. That’s why there’s Jesus to start with.**
 
Dear RSRN
How can you feel badly / unworthy about going back ? You want to make the effort, so do so. If you only knew the hearts of human beings and what they feel. If you only knew. None of us are “worthy” - but God wants us anyway ! It sounds as though your work schedule has kept you from a regular Church schedule. It’s usually taking that first step that’s the hardest. If just for one hour a week - somehow, make the effort - for your childrens’ sake, as well as yours. But never hesitate to go back - God is waiting for you, and He loves you.
 
Okay…I’m feeling better thanks to the support and advice of those who replied. I have got the kids signed up for religious ed, a little late, but they start this week. I decided to home-school my 7th grader because I think it will help me get back to my roots, and my husband will be exposed to some Catholic teaching, which certainly can’t hurt. And now I can look forward to my 10th grader’s Confirmation next spring.

Confessions are held on Saturday afternoons, and if I don’t have to go into work, I will go. Otherwise I’ll go next week. I feel renewed and excited at the prospect of starting over. 🙂
Deep sigh of relief!!
 
rsrn06 said:
Okay…I’m feeling better thanks to the support and advice of those who replied. I have got the kids signed up for religious ed, a little late, but they start this week. I decided to home-school my 7th grader because I think it will help me get back to my roots, and my husband will be exposed to some Catholic teaching, which certainly can’t hurt. And now I can look forward to my 10th grader’s Confirmation next spring.

Confessions are held on Saturday afternoons, and if I don’t have to go into work, I will go. Otherwise I’ll go next week. I feel renewed and excited at the prospect of starting over. 🙂
Deep sigh of relief!!
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That’s great! Welcome back!
 
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