Heirlooms -what to do?

[Xantippe]

I am executor of my parents’ trust. I have one brother who has 4 children and I have 2 children of my own. When my parents pass I have decided to sit down with my brother and discuss what I think is a fair plan. We will each take what we want, and then call the kids together. From oldest to youngest they can each pick an item they want and it will go around until they have all they want, and the rest will go up for auction, and I might even put the house and land up, the proceeds of which will be split between my brother and I. If you start arguing about things you lose your turn. If you don’t like it, you can leave. I am not going to be a referee.

I have not said anything about this to my mother, as she is a hoarder, and thinks everything should be kept. She has way too much furniture and inherited stuff in her house, most of which is not worth anything, but won’t part with anything. So I am going to have to deal with it, and this is the smoothest way I can think of.

That’s very reasonable.

 

[Bonnie]

I have not said anything about this to my mother, as she is a hoarder, and thinks everything should be kept. She has way too much furniture and inherited stuff in her house, most of which is not worth anything, but won’t part with anything.

Ouch. Sounds like me. I’m working on it tho. After Mom died we had to go thru boxes and boxes of paper she had squirrelled away, thinking it was valuable. Because there were photographs & a few important papers we had to go thru everything. I swore I wouldn’t put my kids thru the same ordeal, but it isn’t easy to change.

But there is progress - when my daughter last visited she was very impressed!

 

[EasterJoy]

Among the many things I have is a silver coffee service. People don’t do coffee like they once did. I have no idea who would want it. I wish it was a tea set. I would be able to use it and pass it on.

Many people I know have their grandmother’s silver in a cabinet where they look at it. These are beautiful objects and enhance a home even when they are not used for their original purpose any more.

 

[Xantippe]

Many people I know have their grandmother’s silver in a cabinet where they look at it. These are beautiful objects and enhance a home even when they are not used for their original purpose any more.

Right.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Thanks all for your thoughts, perspective, and wisdom. I feel more at peace going forward.

 

[Anne1964]

I am in the same situation. Everyone in my immediate family is deceased and I am divorced with no children.

When I moved my mother into a retirement community four years ago I invited my cousins over after I had selected the items I wanted and I gave them the whole lot. They were thrilled.

Then, a year before my mother died, I moved in her with me and I cleaned out her apartment.

I am now down to a much more manageable pile of stuff but I live in a very small house and I still have too much stuff. Over the past 7 years I have inherited 3 sets of silver-plated silverware, none of which I want. I also have my mother’s china cabinet as it was the one piece of furniture she specifically asked me to keep.

I love antique furniture and have no intentions of giving any of it away until my death. As the one family of cousins are the only family left I will leave most of it to them even though I don’t particularly like them. Both of their adult children love family history and would be thrilled to have the antique furniture.

I have begun writing a list for my will and plan to take photos so there is no confusion.

It’s weird being the last person alive in my immediate family, though. Still trying to get used to that.