Hello, im new. can anyone answer my questions please

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vicky1234

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Hello,

This my be a silly question but we have recently moved and are settled after what has been a horrible 2 and 1/2 years. We would like to start going to church again as myself and my partner are both catholics.

We have not been to church properly for 5 years and would like to start going to our local church.

So my questions are … will some members of the church not be friendly as we have 2 small children and are not married?

Can we ask for our children to be baptised if so how long do should we attened before we ask?

We would also like to get married as soon as possible, we just want a very small ceremony with some family ( we dont have many friends since having children so no big reception afterwards or many guests) would this be allowed in a catholic church even though we have children?.

Many thanks for reading and i look forward to hearing any advice.
 
Make an appointment with your local priest ASAP. Go to Mass there next Sunday and get a bulletin so you’ll know more about the parish. Refrain from receiving Holy Communion until you get your marriage situation straightened out.

It looks fairly straightforward to me, and the fact that you want to marry quickly and get the children baptized is very good. The parish priest will tell you everything you need to do to get it taken care of.
 
Contact your local parish, there’s usually a person in charge of the paperwork required. You will have to attend some classes for you marriage and your kids baptism. I think all you have to do is get your marriage convalidated if your already married outside of the church. But your local parish will give you all the answers you need.👍
Oh, don’t be afraid to ask “silly questions”. I’m glad your coming back home.
 
Great answers above! Go to Mass (refrain from the Eucharist, though)… get a bulletin… contact the priest and make an appointment! Have no fear about any questions you may have - you will not be turned away! Be honest and ask for patience and kindness through the process…

Welcome home! 🙂
 
I am sure you have heard this before but “the only silly (dumb) question is the one not asked.” So if you have more questions, no matter how silly you think they are everyone here will help you - yes, you will have one or two who gets all mean about it, don’t worry so much about them as, even though they may be right about something, they are not looking at the whole picture of your situation.

Everyone else has already given you the best suggestion, call you local Parish office, make an appointment with your Priest and tell him what you have told us - you want your children Baptized, you two want to get married.

As for the rest of the people in the Parish, none of them will even know you aren’t married except for those you tell!

May God Bless you and keep you.

Brenda V.
 
Hello and thatns for the replies.

It’s just when i did attened a church last year before we moved i overheard a lady telling her son not to mention they were only there to get hiim baptised so he could go to a catholic school. I really dont want the preist to think thats why we are starting to go now but im more embarresed to say its because my partner lost his job and we had to live with a few different family members and live in a hostle hense moving 6 times in 2 years and not attending the same churches before we were fortunate to be given a local authority house.
 
Another question…

What should i say when i phone up? i mean do i say we have just moved to the area and want to start attending church or do i mention getting married and the children baptised?

many thanks.
 
vicky1234 said:
Another question…

What should i say when i phone up? i mean do i say we have just moved to the area and want to start attending church or do i mention getting married and the children baptised?

many thanks.
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You can talk it over in the confessional, you should also see if your parish has an official welcome to the parish dinner where you and your future husband can become members. Certainly I would mention your desire to marry (given the circomstances, maybe they can get you “taken care of” quickly?) and getting your childern baptised.

I doubt anyone will give you any trouble over your current situations. Above all, welcome home!
 
Welcome back. Actually, a lot of priests like when people in your situation try to make their lives right. It’s their job to help you do that. Just tell them you’re new in town and you “want to come home and bring your children with you.” 👍
 
vicky1234 said:
This my be a silly question but we have recently moved and are settled after what has been a horrible 2 and 1/2 years. We would like to start going to church again as myself and my partner are both catholics.
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Welcome! We’ll be glad to see you again. I hope your parish is helpful in building you up in Christ. If they are not, find another parish nearby that is more helpful. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a horrible 2 and 1/2 years and I pray you will find peace joy and blessing going forward.
vicky1234 said:
So my questions are … will some members of the church not be friendly as we have 2 small children and are not married?
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I wish I could say that all Catholics were tolerant, open-minded and non-judgemental, but we are a church of sinners and some may feel they have a right to look down upon you, which is unfair. In our parish, we have openly gay members, reformed drug users, and divorcees, all of whom are welcomed lovingly and none of whom are seen as a pariah. I’ve heard our priest chastise members who disparage those who are openly gay - reminding them that the Church is hospital for sinners, and that we all belong there. So if you are looked down upon, it will be by a few and they have no right to do so. You are welcome here, sister.
vicky1234 said:
Can we ask for our children to be baptised if so how long do should we attened before we ask?
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Absolutely! I think most parishes only ask that you be registered members. Usually there’s a wait for weddings (to give couples time to discern) but not for baptisms. Since you’ve been away for 5 years, they may ask that you sit in on a class (should be free of charge) on what baptism means and what is expected of Catholic parents. This will also help you meet other church members.

Remember that all children are created in the image of God Himself, and so their ability to be baptized has nothing to do with whether the parents are married. If anyone in authority disparages you for this or tries to prevent the baptism, please contact the office of the bishop or archbishop.
vicky1234 said:
We would also like to get married as soon as possible, we just want a very small ceremony with some family … would this be allowed in a catholic church even though we have children?.
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Oh, this is wonderful news! I’m very happy to hear this and hope you have the wedding day you’re wanting.

Marriage is taken very seriously and so there is a longer process that includes counseling called Pre Cana. This needs to be administered through your local parish but I think there is some leeway on where exactly the counseling is done. If you live near the St. Louis, Mo., area, I can recommend a good Pre Cana program that we felt very good about (not that there are bad ones), and if you’ve had a few difficult years recently you may benefit from some counseling to help you move beyond the difficulties you’ve faced and enter married life refreshed.

If either of you were married previously - whether civil or religious - you will need to get an annulment for the previous marriage. This is a lengthier process but it is to ensure that you both are eligible to marry.

If you are in my area, please contact me and I’ll offer whatever help I can. Again, welcome home!
 
vicky1234 said:
It’s just when i did attened a church last year before we moved i overheard a lady telling her son not to mention they were only there to get hiim baptised so he could go to a catholic school.
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I think that meeting with the priest and letting him see your intent will go a long way to persuading him you are serious about coming home.

I’m also astonished and saddened to hear of this other woman. Baptism is such a precious gift, the door to redemption and first step towards salvation.
 
Vicky welcome home!!!

All the other posters have given you excellent advice.
Your priest will be really pleased to hear from you.
My sister was in a similar situation as regards her children.
They are twins of 13yrs,8yr ol and 6 yr old.
They only got baptised September 2008.She had
been a ‘lapsed’ catholic and her husband had not been
religious at all.He was against them being baptised.
Her marriage broke up a few years ago.She asked me
to ring the local parish priest to her neighbourhood I explained
the situation and he was so friendly and welcoming.
The twins now run the shop every Sunday morning after Mass.

Please don’t be embarrassed,your priest will be so welcoming.
In any case as Liberanosamalo says you are new to the area
and want to come home and bring the children with you.
Good on you girl.
Welcome back!
 
Vicky, we you call, ask to speak with the person in charge of marriage preparation and/or baptismal preparation. They will guide you through the proper steps to get you there.🙂
 
vicky1234 said:
Another question…

What should i say when i phone up? i mean do i say we have just moved to the area and want to start attending church or do i mention getting married and the children baptised?

many thanks.
Click to expand...
  • 🙂 Just call the church office and tell them you want to make an appointment to talk with the priest . . .* you don’t have to explain anything to the receptionist/secretary who answers the phone *. . . if they should inquire as to why you want to talk with the priest . . . perhaps thinking they might be able to help with information about church activities, schedules, etc. . . . just graciously tell them it is about a spiritual matter that you wish to discuss privately with Father . . . as a former church secretary of around 20 years experience . . . I would suggest waiting to meet with Father as your chosen spiritual director and mentor . . . he is the best person to guide you about your new church and as to what he and the church require for the next steps you want to take . . . and will have all the information to answer all your questions . . . and all the necessary resources available at his fingertips you all will need to be successful on your journey back home into the heart of our Lord’s wonderful church . . .
God bless . . .
. . . all for Jesus+​
 
vicky1234 said:
Hello,

This my be a silly question but we have recently moved and are settled after what has been a horrible 2 and 1/2 years. We would like to start going to church again as myself and my partner are both catholics.

We have not been to church properly for 5 years and would like to start going to our local church.

So my questions are … will some members of the church not be friendly as we have 2 small children and are not married?

Can we ask for our children to be baptised if so how long do should we attened before we ask?

We would also like to get married as soon as possible, we just want a very small ceremony with some family ( we dont have many friends since having children so no big reception afterwards or many guests) would this be allowed in a catholic church even though we have children?.

Many thanks for reading and i look forward to hearing any advice.
Click to expand...
WELCOME BACK to the CHURCH! Congrats! Yes please set up a meeting with your local priest asap…And about the people even if you were married there will always be someone that gives you a rude eye or remark or look or something…Don’t go to please the people go to please GOD! SO that you may rejoice in His word and teachings and praise Him in His glory with your family!!!

For us it took several months to baptise the children, and courses for First Holy Communion! It’s great though! The children are involved in church and they enjoy it! Jsut speak with your priest he will direct you better!!! GOD BLESS!
 
Brenda_V said:
I am sure you have heard this before but “the only silly (dumb) question is the one not asked.” So if you have more questions, no matter how silly you think they are everyone here will help you - yes, you will have one or two who gets all mean about it, don’t worry so much about them as, even though they may be right about something, they are not looking at the whole picture of your situation.

Everyone else has already given you the best suggestion, call you local Parish office, make an appointment with your Priest and tell him what you have told us - you want your children Baptized, you two want to get married.

As for the rest of the people in the Parish, none of them will even know you aren’t married except for those you tell!

May God Bless you and keep you.

Brenda V.
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The whys and wherefores are only for your priest, the congregation is not entitled. God bless you both and your little family. Thank you dear lord for your actual grace which is there waiting for all of us:thumbsup::)Carlan
 
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