HELP- About Soul Bets and OCD

[IC.Sasta]

I used to be a very positive person and live life normally, although OCD sometimes kicks me, I could always get up again.
One dream has chaged my nature. I had a dream where I was in the position of a reaper. I saw myself holding the schyte and I throw it away, saying “Why is this happening to me?! I don’t want to be like this!” I turned my back and I saw one of my friend. Behind her is a grim reaper saying “Oh, you can’t. You have made this soul contract,” as he pulled the old-looking signed paper. I woke up in distress thinking that I actually sold my soul away.
A few days later my friend invited me to go to a mall. When I was home from the campus I put my watch to the drawer. Suddenly there was a voice inside my head telling me “Hey, how about if you don’t forget to bring your watch to the mall, then you’ll be freed from the contract, but if you forget then your soul will be mine forever.” Hearing the possibility of “freeing my soul” and that I would’nt forget to bring my watch, I said “Okay, deal!”
My friend came early and I rushed after it. I forgot to bring my watch in the middle of the road and suddenly cold wind went through my skin. It scares me and this voice said “Ha! You forgot to bring your watch, didn’t you?” It mocked and teased me. I was scared but I am not letting myself going to the mall without the watch. I went back home to retrieve it and continue my way to the mall.
It did not stop until that watch tragedy. The voice came back and now it’s raining me a lot of soul bettings that it tires me up. I still wasn’t sure whether I won or lose the watch bet and because I was fed up with the voice attack, when it said “If you can inserts bet then your soul will be free, but-” I replied that unfinished voice with anger “-if not then my soul will be yours forever? Okay! I will prove that I’m one step ahead of you!” I did it, but I was still not sure if I won or not and it made me question about my salvation even more.
As I did a bit of research about that dream and got a bit of (name removed by moderator)ut from others in my life, I started regretting why I accepted that thought that popped up in my head. I would’ve been much calmer if it was just the dream; but the irl bets? Why did this even happen to me, God? I never asked for more than to simply enjoy and live my life peacefully. I only agreed to the bets because I trully wish to “get my soul” again and continue with my life.
I became depressive and everytime I try to do something good or able to achieve something in my life, even if it’s just to guess something right, it told me that they were all from the enemy. I feel scared not allowed to be proud of myself. I feel that I mustn’t be as happy as I used to be. Sometimes I just hope that life is short so I can quickly find out, but I know I have to be patient and tough.
I went to a psychiatrist and priests to seek for help and repentance, but the worries keep coming back especially in every morning. I wake up feeling under pressure and anxious. I can’t enjoy my life anymore. Did I really put my soul into danger or was it just my thoughts and OCD? What should I do? How can I gain my salvation? Thank you for any suggestions or prayers in advance.

 

[po18guy]

Since you have OCD, and since you have medical help in that regard, that is where you are best advised to begin. A Priest may not be able to help, since this is a cognitive/medical problem and not a moral or theological problem.

Call doctor.

 

[Francis]

STOP BARGAINING WITH THE DEVIL .Make A GOOD, HONEST CONFESSION ,IS IS POSSIBLE TO ATTEND A CATHOLIC RETREAT OR ADORATION .KEEP PRAYING THE ROSARY AND READ YOU BIBLE INCREASE YOUR SPIRITUAL HAVE A SPIRITUAL FATHER OR CONFESSOR REQUEST HIM FOR COUNSELLING.

 

[1ke]

Get professional help for your OCD and intrusive thoughts. These are serious matters that need a therapist.

 

[Annie]

Did I really put my soul into danger or was it just my thoughts and OCD? What should I do? How can I gain my salvation?

Since you have discussed this with.psychiatrists and priests, I think they were unable to answer your questions. I agree with the others that you should seek the help of people who are trained in these matters rather than random strangers on the internet who have no training at all!

Whether you put your soul into danger, given your intrusive thoughts and history of OCD, seems incredibly unlikely, but the worst-case scenario is that you did, right? So you make a good Confession and start/continue leading a good Catholic life and you’re clear! God is always willing to take us back.

I would also suggest that every time a “devilish” intrusive thought pops up, you pray for help, the Our Father, the Hail Mary, and the St Michael the Archangel prayer. Unless your psychiatrist, priest, or counselor tells you to do something different, because their advice will be much better than mine!

Say morning and evening prayers, and thank God for everything, even if it seems bad to you (I found this very hard but learned and grew from doing it).

Continue to go to Confession regularly, discuss with a good priest how often, because this varies for different people, but have a regular schedule for going.

Most of all, follow the advice of professionals in working out these problems–that is why God gave us good professionals!