Help! Advice needed - my in-laws have taken up swinging and are vacationing at nudist colonies

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6catholics

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Help! I just found out that my in-laws are vacationing at a nudist colony and have taken up “swinging.” They are in their 60’s, were raised Catholic, but do not practice. (However, I have seen them take Eucharist once or twice in the last decade). Last year they accepted the role of Godparents for my nephew.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these issues?

I’m so concerned for their souls. I’m concerned about having them around my children. I’m concerned for their Godson.

:confused:

They don’t know that we know about their lifestyle.
 
Well, since they don’t know you know, I’m afraid it’s probably at least superficially “none of your business.” It may not even be true.

But, I think you’d be within your rights to limit the amount of time you and your children spend around them.
 
6catholics said:
Help! I just found out that my in-laws are vacationing at a nudist colony and have taken up “swinging.” They are in their 60’s, were raised Catholic, but do not practice. (However, I have seen them take Eucharist once or twice in the last decade). Last year they accepted the role of Godparents for my nephew.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these issues?

I’m so concerned for their souls. I’m concerned about having them around my children. I’m concerned for their Godson.

:confused:

They don’t know that we know about their lifestyle.
Click to expand...
Sounds like we have a case of some old hippies trying to have one last gasp of fun before they wind up in the nursing home. Their lifestyle is their business.

But I would lovingly talk to them and insist that they keep their lifestyle private from your children. It would be a good idea to tell the parents of the Godson what you know and let them decide how to handle it.

:cool:
 
6catholics said:
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these issues?

I’m so concerned for their souls. I’m concerned about having them around my children. I’m concerned for their Godson.

They don’t know that we know about their lifestyle.
Click to expand...
keep them away from your children and tell them why then break off contact. you and your wife better be together on this. by the way the reason why is not that you object to your lifestyle (and you better be very sure of your facts) but that you do not want your children exposed to close family members whose views and activities are so opposed to the standards in which you are raising your children. repeat, you better be very, very sure of your facts. anything less likely to inspire sexual adventurism than a nudist colony of old folks is hard to imagine. just going to the pool here at the retirement park is a definite turn-off–more scars and veins than a pathology lab.
 
Thanks for all the advice so far.
The lifestyle/activity has been confirmed… unfortunately.
Please pray for us and them.
 
Any advice?

I wouldn’t go on vacation with them. 😃

Other than that, they’re still the same people they were before you found this out. I wouldn’t treat them any differently. I would tell them that they could not share any details of their unconventional personal life with any children. But they would still be welcome in my home.
 
“Other than that, they’re still the same people they were before you found this out. I wouldn’t treat them any differently. I would tell them that they could not share any details of their unconventional personal life with any children. But they would still be welcome in my home.”

This is good advice.

“The lifestyle/activity has been confirmed… unfortunately.”

The nudist part or the swinging part or both? These are two very different issues. Are you assuming that they swing because the go to a nudist resort? If so, that is a huge leap of logic. I’m sure the vast majority of swingers aren’t nudists. And the vast majority of nudists aren’t swingers.
 
The nudist AND the swinger lifestyles have been confirmed.

… and, trust me, we will not be going on vacation with them or hanging out in their hot tub!
:o
 
whoa! I’m sorry but thats crazy! I wouldn’t let your children be influenced too much by them. Of course I’m sure they wouldn’t be nude or “swinging” when your children were around but still…wow. I feel sorry for your spouse, their own parents doing that. Honestly, I don’t know what to say I’ve never experienced something of that sort. Just keep them in your prayers to be sure. Sorry I don’t have any advice. 🤷

Pax Vobiscum
 
Certainly still have them over and visit them if you can, just do whatever you did before you learned this. Just might want to call ahead before you go over or something. I doubt they would share any tales of their exploits with your children anyway.
 
Thanks. We are praying… wishing this was not true… and remaining thankful that we did not ask them to be godparents to our children.
 
6catholics said:
Help! I just found out that my in-laws are vacationing at a nudist colony and have taken up “swinging.” They are in their 60’s, were raised Catholic, but do not practice. (However, I have seen them take Eucharist once or twice in the last decade). Last year they accepted the role of Godparents for my nephew.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these issues?

I’m so concerned for their souls. I’m concerned about having them around my children. I’m concerned for their Godson.

:confused:

They don’t know that we know about their lifestyle.
Click to expand...
**Sounds like OHS (Old Hippie Syndrome)!

Seriously, though, if you have children, then both you and your husband have every right to sit down with his parents and tell them that you know about their lifestyle (the naturist activity they engage in as well as swinging), as practicing Catholics, neither of you agree with it, and you must be very blunt that they keep that lifestyle away from your children.

If you don’t have children, I would bring up your concern to your nephew’s parents and just let them know how both of you feel about it. Engaging the in-laws would probably not be fruitful then.Pray for their souls.**
 
This is something for your spouse to investigate. Keep a low profile. How is it that you came by this information? Is your source credible? If what you say is true, I think that they have some bigger issues to grapple with than when the next Holy Hour is. If this is true, you and your spouse had better be 110% in sync. I don’t know how practical it would be to cut off contact with grandma and grandpa for the kids, but all visits should be supervised. Pray for them, but your children are your first priority. They have no choice in what they are exposed to. Your in-laws do. God Bless.👍
 
Well, they have returned from their swinging/nudist vacation… and want to watch the kids (ages 6, 4, 2, and 8 mos.). Chills go down my spine.

We reconfirmed all info today. Alas, it’s true. 65 year old swinging, nudist in-laws/grandparents/godparents to nephew. I want to puke…but I know I have to pray. My heart aches for my husband, who feels he has lost the parents that he thought he knew.

We’re taking this slow. Praying to the Holy Spirit for guidance. Praying to St. Anthony to help us find the right way to address this and to help them find their way back to Catholicism. Praying to St. Jude…
 
Short answer: NO!!!

Long answer: because they will ask “Why?” - Let them know that you know what they are doing, what sort of behavior they are indulging in and that you cannot have your children around them unsupervised until they stop this nonsense, come back to their senses and start comporting themselves in a Christian manner. End of story.

Sounds easy, but boy, its going to be hard. God help you. I’ll pray for you.
 
If they were my parents, I don’t think I could stand to be in the same room with them. And my parents would probably expect that reaction from me, so I doubt they would be wondering why. My heart feels for you. I’ll say a prayer for your situation.
 
Ya know, I highly doubt they are going to run around naked and have sex in front of the grandkids. And I highly doubt they are going to talk about it to your children,especially kids that young. It is their private lifestyle and I am sure they aren’t going to push it on anyone. I’m not saying it’s right but all of us sin every single day so we shouldn’t judge them. They aren’t doing drugs, they aren’t stealing, they aren’t selling porn, etc. They are just doing something they enjoy. I don’t understand why you would keep your kids away from them. I am sure they are still the same loving grandparents they have always been. They aren’t going to turn into child molesters just because they went to a nudist camp. (or wherever it is they go)
 
noclevername said:
Ya know, I highly doubt they are going to run around naked and have sex in front of the grandkids. And I highly doubt they are going to talk about it to your children,especially kids that young. It is their private lifestyle and I am sure they aren’t going to push it on anyone. I’m not saying it’s right but all of us sin every single day so we shouldn’t judge them. They aren’t doing drugs, they aren’t stealing, they aren’t selling porn, etc. They are just doing something they enjoy. I don’t understand why you would keep your kids away from them. I am sure they are still the same loving grandparents they have always been. They aren’t going to turn into child molesters just because they went to a nudist camp. (or wherever it is they go)
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My ex husband also engages in the swinger lifestyle, which is why he is now the ex…he doesn’t run around naked, but I certainly am concerned at how his promiscuity will affect our children when they find out. This is pretty serious stuff, folks, not some harmless lark. What does this lifestyle say about casual sex, about relationships, about marriage and family, about society? Sodom and Gemorrah, here we come.
 
I feel bad for you and especially your husband! I would also still allow the children to know their grandparents on a limited, supervised basis and telling them how you feel about the whole thing. I admit if it was me that I would find it very difficult for me to spend time with them also! And most of all pray, pray, pray!!
 
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