Help family crisis!

[igator99]

I’ve been married for 14 years. I have two children. One biological and the other from my wifes previous marriage. I have gone out of my way to make sure the non biological child never felt any different than my biological child. I truly loved her like my own. My in-laws never accepted me and after years of being treated poorly I finally decided I could no longer tolerate them and I haven’t seen them in two years. However I made sure my wife still stayed in contact. Although every time she went over there I felt hurt. My biological child no longer will go over there because he doesn’t feel comfortable with them. They don’t treat him the same as their grandchildren that they approve of. Oh I left out they only disapprove of me because I can’t support them financially like the rest of my wifes family.

I strongly suspect that my non biological child now in her early 20’s is actively working with my in-laws to breakup my family. It goes against my nature to treat my children differently. It makes me sick but how can I turn a blind eye at someone trying to destroy my family. How do I deal with the enemy living under my roof? I’m literally sick about this. Please give me some advice.

 

[bnbkaine]

Does your wife feel like your non-bio is trying to break up the marriage? Start with her. When you tell her how you feel and how this really concerns you, and she says that it is not true, then you have to believe her. Ultimately, the marriage is not about your kids, but about you and your wife and God. If your wife does feel the way you do, then you are not “treating your kids differently” by getting mad at your non-bio. Plus, the girl is over eighteen. She can get her own life and stop messing with yours. Good luck.

PS- I have never felt that my spouse has treated my son from a previous relationship any differently then our daughter. If my son decided one day to become an idiot and throw back the relationship he has my spouse, I would completely be on my husband’s side.

 

[igator99]

My non biological adult child has even suggested divorce to wife. I think my wife just wants it all to go away.

 

[defenderoftruth]

My non biological adult child has even suggested divorce to wife. I think my wife just wants it all to go away.

Hmm I would talk to wife at a counselor’s office and non biological needs to move out since they don’t respect you as the Father and man of the house and they are trying to drive a wedge between you and your wife. I wouldn’t suggest “kicking out” the non bio adult kid but talking to wife and finding out what she thinks about them living there and attacking you. If she’s ok with it you have got some real problems where the counseling would be a must. It’s hard for a mother when she has to choose between a child and husband. I would suggest though that a neutral party (counselor) can be a good person to “help” her choose and choose right.

DoT

 

[igator99]

Hmm I would talk to wife at a counselor’s office and non biological needs to move out since they don’t respect you as the Father and man of the house and they are trying to drive a wedge between you and your wife. I wouldn’t suggest “kicking out” the non bio adult kid but talking to wife and finding out what she thinks about them living there and attacking you. If she’s ok with it you have got some real problems where the counseling would be a must. It’s hard for a mother when she has to choose between a child and husband. I would suggest though that a neutral party (counselor) can be a good person to “help” her choose and choose right.

DoT

Yea my problem is the non bio. I want it all to go away like my wife. It is hell to have a 20 year old calling the shots in my house. Young women can be so evil.