Help for December sadness

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irishcolleen45

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December is a difficult month for me. My parents and brother died in December in various years along with a close cousin and a favorite aunt.

Any suggestions for a devotion to overcome this sadness would be appreciated.

Thanks
 
Thank you. I do realize that they are closer to God and I do pray for their souls. I also ask them to help me in my requests but I can’t seem to shake this sadness.
 
Do you have any place you can do Eucharistic adoration, either a parish that does exposition once a week or an adoration chapel? You could see about making a devotion out of visiting in the blessed sacrament during December, even if there is not exposition. In a time of loneliness it can be hard to remember you aren’t truly ever alone because the Lord is always there but we just can’t see Him. Exposition or an adoration chapel would give you a place where you can physically see the Lord there in the room with you and know that even if you were the only person on the planet, He still would’ve come and died for you alone; He loves you that much.

In some of my saddest moments, seeing the Lord exposed and with the cross hanging there as well, I feel such love.
 
I try to shake off the sads over deceased loved ones by going and doing something for others, like giving to a charity or saying extra prayers for others’ intentions.
 
Dear Colleen,

My heart is with you. May I say that as long as you live and remember your loved ones, they will be with you.

Stuart
 
We have a perpetual Adoration Chapel 24/7 at my parish and I’m an adorer every Fri. I do try to stop by the Chapel when I can. I attend Daily Mass, say the Rosary and Chaplet daily.
Despite doing all this, every Dec I feel sad. That’s why I’m looking for a devotion to help me.

Thank you for your suggestions.
 
Well, think on Heaven. Meditate on Heaven. Hope that does not sound trite, but there is our hope as Christians. All the saints who even got close to Heaven sobbed like babies and were deeply distressed when they found out they would have to go back and sojourn on Earth for who knows how many days and years.

Adoration is one of the best of consolations on this earth, probably THE BEST. I generally go every day.
 
You could say the chaplet of Mercy and ask Jesus to join your sufferings to his for the repose of your family or other intentions. I feel it so necessary to pray for young people these days… You can’t go wrong asking for His Mercy!
 
Sometimes it’s useful to pick something to do-- in their memory/for their souls, perhaps, or for love of them-- and help someone who’s still on earth. Pick any of the corporal works of mercy that appeals to your station in life/abilities/interests/talents, and focus on it for a period of time.
Merit cannot be transferred, but meritorious acts can make satisfaction for another, by giving to God a gift of greater value than what was taken by the sin. This is how Christ’s own actions in His passion and death made satisfaction for the sins of the whole world. (See “Catholic and Reformed Conceptions of the Atonement.”) But it is also the way the meritorious acts of the saints can make satisfaction for others’ debt of temporal punishment. St. Thomas writes, “All the saints intended that whatever they did or suffered for God’s sake should be profitable not only to themselves but to the whole Church.”3
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So, you’re doing something that has a threefold benefit: you’re serving Christ by serving those around you; you have the people you serve benefit from your service; and you have your deceased relatives hopefully benefiting from meritorious acts being performed with their needs in mind.
 
Thank you all for responding to my topic. You all gave me good advice.
 
The thought that popped up when I read your post is to go out to be with nature. Enjoy a long walk with somebody who knew your parents, family members.
 
Sometimes sadness is acceptable, normal, and maybe even a good thing, I think.

Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.

But December Blues can be partly physical / seasonal related that you can do something about. I get winter blues. Recommend lots of time outside, exercise, getting plenty of sunlight.
 
Some sadness is natural. Sometimes I think we have a sort of collective forced happiness around the holidays - we all want a part of that but are in fact still in our realities with all of the difficulties, uncertainty, memories, loss, anxiety that is a part of life. Chronic illnesses don’t go away for the holiday - neither do poverty, unemployment, problems. Nothing does. We just try and create this flawless festive mentality for a few weeks. It might help just to accept how you feel; do small things that you enjoy doing. Maybe do something somehow connected to those you have lost - carry on a tradition, go somewhere where they lived or fix a dish they made, use a tablecloth or something you’ve inherited, something like that. In my case this would make me feel better not worse, but we are all different. I always think we need to live well as a reflection of what people have meant to us, the value in those connections we carry on in our lives. Think of your loved ones as not just with God but with you. You want to live in a way that makes them proud, reflects what they gave you as a person. Joy is a part of that. You are who you are because of them. Make it count.
 
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irishcolleen45 said:
December is a difficult month for me…
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I am praying for you. May the Lord grant you peace and joy this Advent and Christmas.

My mother died on Christmas Day, many years ago. For me, it does not seem to detract from the holiness and joy of the season. It reminds me to pray for my mother, and I tell my children about her life and about our hope that she is in heaven, where she prays for us.
 
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FollowChrist34 said:
fact still in our realities with all of the difficulties, uncertainty, memories, loss
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I thought this myself. December has the shortest days of the year in the Northern hemisphere, where I assume the poster is.

The effect is so strong that my hens, whose laying had been decreasing for a couple of months, would start increasing just before Christmas, within 2 or 3 days of the solstice.

I would definitely suggest mentioning it to a doctor. If the cause is physical, spiritual or psychological aids won’t help.

ETA: sorry about the mangled quote :o
 
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Pray for their souls, and ask them to pray for you.

Perhaps use this month in particular to meditate upon death. It is something we all have to face sooner or later. Let it be your strength and guidance, to live deserving of a good death.
Then, on Dec 25, celebrate life in Christ, our Lord, who has defeated death by His birth, life,sufferings, death, and Resurrection!
 
Sadness is not bad. Desperation is. I say just do not fight it and pray to Christ to ease your sorrow.
I find it helpful when sad to recite Psalm 50 (51). And light candles in memory of …, and just avoid envying the party going on parallel to my life. I have my life they have theirs. We all grief maybe not always at the same time.
God bless you
 
Thanks for the suggestions but my parents died in the early 1980s and all who knew them are dead as well.
 
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