M
Mdf21
Guest
Hello everyone,
I am seeking prayers because sometimes it seems as though mine are not enough. I feel completely connected to God and always feel safe talking to Him, but I am hurting; my heart is in pain.
I have been with my husband since 2008, married since 2010. We met on a trip, fell in love, and have done everything to be together. I live in Canada and he lives in the United States. The long distance is really taking its toll, it will be four years in October.
Not only do we have the challenge of distance, but we have the challenge of sex addiction as well. My husband is also Catholic and goes to Church every Sunday. It seems he is very safe and comfortable with his addiction; he has not cheated on me physically, only through email, texting, and online dating sites. He has never given me a reason to think or feel it has been physical, and in the first few years he was comfortable opening up about his problem. Now, he has closed off and says, “this is how I am, I am never going to change.” I have prayed for him and gone to Church with him, where I get very emotional because I feel he isn’t trying to get better for me, but most of all for him.
I come from a family who cares unconditionally and will do any and everything for each other. His family has just recently become closer, because they are older and their Mother has passed last year. His upbringing was much different and he was touched inappropriately while in foster care briefly when he was young. I feel his upbringing has made him closed off, because things have “always worked out” for him, so why change?
The issue now is that I am visiting him for 10 days and we continue to get in to arguments. We have not been ourselves. We still cuddle and say I love you every day, but something has changed. He says it is nothing, but I fear he is interested in someone else. His phone never goes off, but I noticed a phone call coming in from his best friends sister, who is engaged. I have caught him speaking to other women, mostly flirting and telling them what they want to hear, again stemming from his addiction. He says he has been much better, but I know that the addiction cannot go away on its own. I pray every day for him to wan to change and get help. I continuously tell him how wonderful and HEALTHY life can be, but he says he is happy with life now. The problem is, I am not. We used to talk, connect, and the distance is something we have both never experienced before, so clearly, he is being a good husband by sticking it out, but we are having trouble finding balance between my needs and his.
I am asking for your prayers. I know he loves me, he has never wanted a divorce and when we talk about how hard it is, we can never say we give up. He knows how understanding, patient, and supportive I have been, but I now feel that has turned to him just being comfortable with me accepting him and the situation; at the end of the day, he is still not healthy. Please please please pray for us and our situation. I am getting my visa papers in maybe 5-8 months, but that just seems so far away. I have turned to support groups and they all say if he doesn’t change, leave. I need my Catholic family, because divorce is not in my head. I am hurting and am looking for change. I know miracles usually pertain to sickness and tragedies, so I feel uncomfortable using that word… But I truly need something. Time after time, we have shown we want to be together. But something needs to change so that we are both happy and healthy for when we get to be together.
Thank you so much, my new Family. This is a place where I can be myself and say the things I cannot express openly. Thank you all.
I am seeking prayers because sometimes it seems as though mine are not enough. I feel completely connected to God and always feel safe talking to Him, but I am hurting; my heart is in pain.
I have been with my husband since 2008, married since 2010. We met on a trip, fell in love, and have done everything to be together. I live in Canada and he lives in the United States. The long distance is really taking its toll, it will be four years in October.
Not only do we have the challenge of distance, but we have the challenge of sex addiction as well. My husband is also Catholic and goes to Church every Sunday. It seems he is very safe and comfortable with his addiction; he has not cheated on me physically, only through email, texting, and online dating sites. He has never given me a reason to think or feel it has been physical, and in the first few years he was comfortable opening up about his problem. Now, he has closed off and says, “this is how I am, I am never going to change.” I have prayed for him and gone to Church with him, where I get very emotional because I feel he isn’t trying to get better for me, but most of all for him.
I come from a family who cares unconditionally and will do any and everything for each other. His family has just recently become closer, because they are older and their Mother has passed last year. His upbringing was much different and he was touched inappropriately while in foster care briefly when he was young. I feel his upbringing has made him closed off, because things have “always worked out” for him, so why change?
The issue now is that I am visiting him for 10 days and we continue to get in to arguments. We have not been ourselves. We still cuddle and say I love you every day, but something has changed. He says it is nothing, but I fear he is interested in someone else. His phone never goes off, but I noticed a phone call coming in from his best friends sister, who is engaged. I have caught him speaking to other women, mostly flirting and telling them what they want to hear, again stemming from his addiction. He says he has been much better, but I know that the addiction cannot go away on its own. I pray every day for him to wan to change and get help. I continuously tell him how wonderful and HEALTHY life can be, but he says he is happy with life now. The problem is, I am not. We used to talk, connect, and the distance is something we have both never experienced before, so clearly, he is being a good husband by sticking it out, but we are having trouble finding balance between my needs and his.
I am asking for your prayers. I know he loves me, he has never wanted a divorce and when we talk about how hard it is, we can never say we give up. He knows how understanding, patient, and supportive I have been, but I now feel that has turned to him just being comfortable with me accepting him and the situation; at the end of the day, he is still not healthy. Please please please pray for us and our situation. I am getting my visa papers in maybe 5-8 months, but that just seems so far away. I have turned to support groups and they all say if he doesn’t change, leave. I need my Catholic family, because divorce is not in my head. I am hurting and am looking for change. I know miracles usually pertain to sickness and tragedies, so I feel uncomfortable using that word… But I truly need something. Time after time, we have shown we want to be together. But something needs to change so that we are both happy and healthy for when we get to be together.
Thank you so much, my new Family. This is a place where I can be myself and say the things I cannot express openly. Thank you all.
- Mary
