Help for relationship of seven years

[Lou2U]

And just to clarify, we have been together so long that the love between us is so strong and intense. She does still love me, I can see that about her, it’s just not the crazy over-the-top love as before. We will remain close no matter what, so it’s not like I won’t ever see her again. I just don’t want to loose her as my girlfriend. I miss the super close bond we had. I know that we both have loads more to offer.
I am a firm believer that if something exists in one state, it can change to a different state. So as long as there is real love anything is possible. Real love does come around only once in a lifetime and is always worth fighting for.

I agree with WT1 that this isn’t healthy.

You may believe it to be true love but if your girlfriend does not

Make sure that you listen to what she says when you see her at the weekend, and make sure you acknowledge how she feels. Don’t try and guilt trip or pressure her. Keep busy, you’ll be okay.

Lou

 

[lizziej]

I knew my husband 7 years before we were married. We were friends for a couple of years before we started dating. He broke it off about 18 months after we started dating because he felt he needed to date others (we were in our 30s when we met). I knew it was because he was scared, because he had a failed marriage and didn’t want to go down that road again unless he was really sure. However, I had to resign myself to the fact that it could possibly be the end of our relationship. It was devastating, but shortly after I moved on, he came back. We recently celebrated our 18th anniversary.

Maybe your girlfriend is scared, afraid that she hasn’t seen whether the grass is greener on the other side or perhaps she doesn’t know whether you’ll ever put a ring on her finger. Have you ever talked about marriage?

Just let her go. If y’all are meant to be together, she’ll be back, but don’t wait around for her. Two of my friends (girls) had long relationships about as long as yours around the same age. One of them broke it off with the guy because he wouldn’t commit, and the guy broke it off with my other friend. They each were devastated, but then they each met someone new and are now happily married.

May God bless you.

 

[mommy_k]

Wow-7 years and no enagement. Your girlfriend is extremely patient.

Perhaps because of this, the ship has sailed. Women translate true love differently, and if you truly loved her you would have proposed by now. I bet this is what she is thinking. She may feel you are stringing her along.

I broke an engagement because my then fiance kept pushing off planning a wedding, and that took about 2 years.

How many years were you planning to just date?

If your girlfriend does come back to you, you should start talking marriage.

 

[pensmama87]

Wow-7 years and no enagement. Your girlfriend is extremely patient.

Perhaps because of this, the ship has sailed. Women translate true love differently, and if you truly loved her you would have proposed by now. I bet this is what she is thinking. She may feel you are stringing her along.

I broke an engagement because my then fiance kept pushing off planning a wedding, and that took about 2 years.

How many years were you planning to just date?

If your girlfriend does come back to you, you should start talking marriage.

This is what I was thinking.

Some friends of DH and I recently broke up after dating since high school - so, about 15 years. Obviously we don’t know about the inside, but we knew for years she wanted to get married and have babies, and the guy just wouldn’t propose. He’d have an excuse every time someone brought it up.

I think she just got tired of waiting. I don’t blame her. I would have walked out a lot sooner. The guy has said to his friends that he really wants to reconcile and that he loves her…but why won’t he commit?

Unfortunately, I think your ex-girlfriend may have realized she was just throwing away some important investments, so she decided to quit doing that.

 

[St_Pancake]

Yep. Classic breakup maneuver, she is moving on so best to let her go and see what God has planned for your future.

Classic and clear. When a woman is suggesting no contact and dating others for a month, it is long over.

 

[St_Pancake]

This is what I was thinking.

Some friends of DH and I recently broke up after dating since high school - so, about 15 years. Obviously we don’t know about the inside, but we knew for years she wanted to get married and have babies, and the guy just wouldn’t propose. He’d have an excuse every time someone brought it up.

I think she just got tired of waiting. I don’t blame her. I would have walked out a lot sooner. The guy has said to his friends that he really wants to reconcile and that he loves her…but why won’t he commit?

Unfortunately, I think your ex-girlfriend may have realized she was just throwing away some important investments, so she decided to quit doing that.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve dated or been “set free”, but I think I remember it a bit. With your gf suggesting no contact and dating others for a month, the relationship is nothing but over. All she will tell you a month later is that she is certain it is over.

For whatever reason, this didn’t work. There is no sense chasing someone that is screaming they don’t want you. Pick up your feelings and plan for your life to be very different. May God be with you.