Help from the fellas..... warning foul language

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jessup
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jessup

Guest
Sorry for the foul language but I have to bring this to the table.
Fellas how do you handle living your faith and working around a lot of other guys that like to share their wives or bring pictures of them in having sex with other woman?
without being considered “queer” for not wanting to look at porn or getting prostitutes.
I’ve been dealing with this all my life working in heavy industry. It always seems to attract the weirdest people.
I certainly don’t go around preaching my opinion that’s the kind of thing that gets you run off of a good job. I could go into further detail but the details are a bit harsh.
How do you guys deal with these work environments and manage to hold the job down I’m personally getting tired of it.
Whats your defense?
 
Jessup,

I have not had the problem that you seem to have but one that is close. One of the guys I work with will at times send pictures or videos of some very disturbing things that he finds on the internet. He would send them out saying “you gota see this”. This may be hard at first, but just tell them that you have no desire to see pictures of their wives regardless of what they are doing. I will not tell you it will be easy but you may find that there others that agree with you. And even if no one else supports you in this the only thing that matters is how YOU view yourself and how do you think God would view you.

Also these guys do not seem to be the type that you would interact with outside of work, so who cares what they think. It may also be a good idea to start looking around for another job, maybe one that is not in a “heavy industry”.

Not much in the way of advice but remain strong, and keep faith in God.

Winter
 
My defense basiclly is silence and simple non-participation.
Initially if someone says “Hey look at this” or or “wanna see my naked wife” or whatever…I would simply decline. “No I don’t”…
“Hey Why Not”…
“I simply don’t. Please respect that”.

If others “make fun” of my position, my silence or my lack of desire to participate…I ignore it. Period. I will not be coerced into a response.
Generally they soon tire of the “game” and leave me alone.

Peace
James
 
Jessup said:
Sorry for the foul language but I have to bring this to the table.
Fellas how do you handle living your faith and working around a lot of other guys that like to share their wives or bring pictures of them in having sex with other woman?
without being considered “queer” for not wanting to look at porn or getting prostitutes.
I’ve been dealing with this all my life working in heavy industry. It always seems to attract the weirdest people.
I certainly don’t go around preaching my opinion that’s the kind of thing that gets you run off of a good job. I could go into further detail but the details are a bit harsh.
How do you guys deal with these work environments and manage to hold the job down I’m personally getting tired of it.
Whats your defense?
Click to expand...
The first couple of times its tough to tell someone, especially someone you are friendly with, not to include you in that behavior. If pressed, tell them why.

After the first couple of times it’s a breeze.
 
Winter_Warlock said:
Jessup,

I have not had the problem that you seem to have but one that is close. One of the guys I work with will at times send pictures or videos of some very disturbing things that he finds on the internet. He would send them out saying “you gota see this”. This may be hard at first, but just tell them that you have no desire to see pictures of their wives regardless of what they are doing. I will not tell you it will be easy but you may find that there others that agree with you. And even if no one else supports you in this the only thing that matters is how YOU view yourself and how do you think God would view you.

Also these guys do not seem to be the type that you would interact with outside of work, so who cares what they think. It may also be a good idea to start looking around for another job, maybe one that is not in a “heavy industry”.

Not much in the way of advice but remain strong, and keep faith in God.

Winter
Click to expand...
There are thousands of people who work in"heavy industry" my husband and friends and family mong them.None of them indulge in this kind of behavior and if they met someone who did they would make short shrift of them.Obscenity and vulgarity are found in evry profession and trade .One of the worst offenders I kjnew was a female nurse…Another who had a weird sense of the acceptable was head of finance for a very large hospital,
so changing his occupation is not the answer .All he has to do is glare quietly right into the eyes of the offender ,say nothing , don’t blink ,or smile but stare him down hold his eyes on yours till he starts to squirm ,he;ll soon get the message.The people who use the obscene behaviour have poor social skills and use their sexual conquests to prove how "manly"they’re not.My husband and friends are all steel workers for over thirty years and have come across this behaviour often also the ones who frequent the strip clubs and boast about .REALmen do not do this stuff
 
Tell them you don’t poop were you eat…You might get a rep as a loner or something, but stay professional and build your rep on skills…you don’t need that mess in your life. Samson
 
Jessup said:
…Fellas how do you handle living your faith and working around a lot of other guys that like to share their wives or bring pictures of them in having sex with other woman? …
Click to expand...
:eek::eek::eek:

I’m not a fella, but I am appalled to learn that any man (or woman either for that matter) would do such a thing. That is truly reprehensible behavior for someone to share intimate photos with any other person.
 
SwizzleStick said:
:eek::eek::eek:

I’m not a fella, but I am appalled to learn that any man (or woman either for that matter) would do such a thing. That is truly reprehensible behavior for someone to share intimate photos with any other person.
Click to expand...
I have been in medium industry for 33 years. Back in the 70’s and 80’s, it was common to see scantily clad calendar girls posted around shops, courtesy of the tool companies.

Also saw Playboy calendars posted in locker rooms.

In the last fifteen years, lots of emails with topless or naked women, plus some video porn.
I have struggled with this for the last ten years. Happy to say it has gotten much better through confession and priestly insight.

But I never heard of anyone sending pictures of their wives! Is that more of a “conquest” thing? There’s always gonna be a little of the “boy, you sure are in a good mood today…” as banter among the guys. I may smile but that’s about the extent of my participation. I’m happy that everyone else has good sex lives with their wives, but I don’t need to see it.
 
fastenatingguy said:
…But I never heard of anyone sending pictures of their wives! Is that more of a “conquest” thing? There’s always gonna be a little of the “boy, you sure are in a good mood today…” as banter among the guys. I may smile but that’s about the extent of my participation. I’m happy that everyone else has good sex lives with their wives, but I don’t need to see it.
Click to expand...
Exactly. Who would do such a thing? What kind of man (or woman) would share an intimate picture of his/her spouse?
 
Maybe I’m coming from an office worker’s perspective, but don’t most companies have rules about inappropriate material that would either fall under sexual harassment or improper use of company computer/internet policies?
 
Norseman82 said:
Maybe I’m coming from an office worker’s perspective, but don’t most companies have rules about inappropriate material that would either fall under sexual harassment or improper use of company computer/internet policies?
Click to expand...
I would say that yes they do…but such things would only be enforced if someone complains.

Peace
James
 
I am a woman, so I have not been in your exact situation but I do find woman can talk about inappropriate things. I think women tend to talk more than bring in pictures

However, I hope it will help to know that I think you are a man of great character and would love to live in a world full of men like you in it

CM
 
cmscms said:
I am a woman, so I have not been in your exact situation but I do find woman can talk about inappropriate things. I think women tend to talk more than bring in pictures

However, I hope it will help to know that I think you are a man of great character and would love to live in a world full of men like you in it

CM
Click to expand...
Hey thanks for the " flowers" as I’ve always called it when a compliment is given . But I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I was a fraud like everyone else around me. I just do the best I can to avoid the obvious.
Cheers! and God bless, 👍

What does cmscms mean ?
 
Jessup, I’ve been around this type of behavior all of my working life. I think the adultry has gotten even worse with the advent of “smart” phones.

I join in, with the kidding, and joking that does not offend me. I steer clear of the things that do. Some people really can’t wrap their mind around the fact, that their behavior is wrong. Nothing is going to reach them, and they will talk behind your back.

What makes it even harder. Is that so many Catholics engage in the same behaviors. They treat their religion as a joke. So, people expect you to do so as well. I guess that why they call it a struggle.🤷

Stay safe!
 
Don’t take this the wrong way, but you really have to just grow a pair and stop caring what the other guys think about you. All it really takes is once or twice of you saying ‘no’ to looking at their porn (which will start a conversation, most likely including some ridicule) for them to get the idea. You have to know that you are in the right and stand up for yourself, no matter what they say. “If they persecute you, know that they persecuted me before you…” If you can have a smart comeback or two (easier if you naturally have a smart mouth like me…) you can shut them down pretty quick. Once, when a guy asked if I like gay porn because I didn’t want to see the porn on his phone, I said ‘why? do you have some of that on your phone too?’ Conversation = over. No more issues with that guy.

In all honesty, the guys that I have had to tell to stop trying to show me things I don’t want to see end up seemingly having more respect for me…eventually.

Just remember when it is tough (and it will be)…do you care what *they *think about you or what *God *thinks about you?
 
This kind of stuff is common. If you want an easy way to get out of looking at it and for future issues, just say something like:

“Man, what’s wrong with you? If somebody sees that, you’re going to get us in trouble. I don’t need it. I’ve got enough problems without all that drama. Keep that stuff away from me”.

This disarms the holier-than-thou attack that many would give you if you simply said it was immoral to look at it. Granted, you’re kind of dodging the moral issue here in favor of worrying about the consequences only. Sometimes, it’s necessary.
 
Nec5 said:
This kind of stuff is common. If you want an easy way to get out of looking at it and for future issues, just say something like:

“Man, what’s wrong with you? If somebody sees that, you’re going to get us in trouble. I don’t need it. I’ve got enough problems without all that drama. Keep that stuff away from me”.

This disarms the holier-than-thou attack that many would give you if you simply said it was immoral to look at it. Granted, you’re kind of dodging the moral issue here in favor of worrying about the consequences only. Sometimes, it’s necessary.
Click to expand...
That is good idea. mMy Sister is a executive in a large firm and summarily dismissed 4 employees because they were trading Porn. How do you think that looks on their resume.

Of course what i would be be tempted to say is "Ive seen more revealing pictures than that of your wife…
 
I just say that I do not want to do mortal sins and that I am Catholic and not going to hell. They have usually respect this opinion and are still my friends. At Least by me.🙂
 
Jessup said:
Hey thanks for the " flowers" as I’ve always called it when a compliment is given . But I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I was a fraud like everyone else around me. I just do the best I can to avoid the obvious.
Cheers! and God bless, 👍

What does cmscms mean ?
Click to expand...
CMS are my itinials and I just repeated them for whatever reason when I joined.

Your welcome for the compliment, but I am not sure what you mean by ‘I was a fraud’. Does that mean you use to do it and then repented? If you went to confession, then it is no longer an issue

CM
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top