S
Shocking
Guest
I am in a desperate situation and am facing homelessness. I left my husband because he was abusive. I went to live with my daughter but I was shocked to discover that she is abusive also! When I finally stood up to her she put me out. My son who lives far away negotiated with her to allow me to stay for 1 1/2 months if I can get a job in that time. I am under a lot of pressure and can’t sleep at night. I go to church everyday, take the Eucharist and visit the Adoration Chapel at my church. I belong to a prayer group but they are totally taken up with a 26 year old foreign man. Everyone prays constantly for him and gives him financial assistance. I have asked for their prayers but I was ridiculed by the leader of my prayer group. She told me “If you don’t have a job, it’s because you don’t want one.” I felt so ashamed. Now that foreign man has a green card and a new job and I am still without work. I only have two weeks to find a job. Yet I have become so depressed, I think constantly about killing myself and ending my sorrows. Today I took a great many pills so I could sleep and not have to suffer this misery. I am in such pain! They say God never gives you more than you can handle. But I seem to have lost my taste for life. Now that I am not doing well, my children and relatives look down on me and have abandoned me. I feel lost and without purpose. I ask God “What am I alive for? Do I serve any purpose - with no job, no money, no security” What have I done to sink so low? I was a good mother and I have worked hard all my life. I can not understand why my life has fallen apart like this. I pray for help, for guidance, for rest, to wish to live again, to find kindness and love in this world which has become so hostile. Please pray with and for me that some door or gate opens to me, that I can find a path. Otherwise let me die quickly, since this is all too horrible to bear. Thank you for whoever is out there listening.

