Help! I am in a Quandry! Priest's or Deacon's especially answer please!

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pat197124

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Hello there!,

First, thank you for looking at my question(s). I am 37 years old, just became Catholic, and have a problem on my hands. First, I am trying to determine wether I am supposed to get married to the most loving Catholic woman, who introduced me to the church btw, or if I am supposed to persue a calling to priesthood? As an aside, like I said, I am 37, too old for most orders, not a catholic long enough, and I have no college experience. But I feel this very deep inner burning to learn more and to serve God through the church. I have never fit in like I do with the catholic church, but I also love my fiance’ so deeply that I am very, very confused??? I have prayed about it, I haven’t recieved an answer. Please give me some feedback to help me find an answer. Thanks in advance!

God Bless You!!!,

Pat
 
Do you have a spiritual director? If not, soulds as if you would be wise to find one. Call your Parish Office to find out who is available.
 
You need a Spiritual Director. Take your time in making this decision, the Holy Spirit may be calling you into a direction that you have never thought about. How does the lady in question feel about this?
 
Have you a Catholic retreat house close by? Sometimes it is difficult to find a spiritual director-usually a retreat will give you the opportunity for some quiet prayer, instruction, and spiritual direction. Most priests and deacons spend many hours meeting in discernment groups before they begin any type of formation. 37 is not old. We have many second career priests that have started later than that.There is a program at Hales Corner that has accepted men up to their 80s for priesthood formation. Most deacon candidates are married and most have children. They have also spent some time in lay ministry-sick,homeless, hospice, soup kitchens, prisons Etc. May God bless you in your desire to serve him more fully. I always marvel at the zeal of new Catholics. Many cradle Catholics have grown lax in the faith and don’t realize the tresure that is there’s.

Dcn tony
 
Make that 4 for 4 (so far) strongly recommending that you get a spiritual director ASAP.
 
By the way, the majority of the guys ordained in my group are converts. If you’ve received the Sacraments of Initiation, then you’re Catholic enough for discernment…Holy Orders or/and marriage.

Deacon Ray
 
deacon ray vann said:
by the way, the majority of the guys ordained in my group are converts. If you’ve received the sacraments of initiation, then you’re catholic enough for discernment…holy orders or/and marriage.

Deacon ray
Click to expand...
How many were in your class? What is your main ministry?

dcn tony
 
plato3 said:
How many were in your class? What is your main ministry?

dcn tony
Click to expand...
Deacon Tony,

We were 35 in all. Diocese of Tyler, TX, December 2007. My main ministry is promotion of Life issues.

Deacon Ray
 
Thanks for the info, Deacon Ray. Big class-we had 22 and that was the biggest class so far. You have a much needed ministry in this culture of death. We need many more priests and deacons. Hope some of those reading these forums will consider these vocations.

Dcn tony
Diocese of Fresno, Ca.
 
pat197124 said:
Hello there!,

First, thank you for looking at my question(s). I am 37 years old, just became Catholic, and have a problem on my hands. First, I am trying to determine wether I am supposed to get married to the most loving Catholic woman, who introduced me to the church btw, or if I am supposed to persue a calling to priesthood? As an aside, like I said, I am 37, too old for most orders, not a catholic long enough, and I have no college experience. But I feel this very deep inner burning to learn more and to serve God through the church. I have never fit in like I do with the catholic church, but I also love my fiance’ so deeply that I am very, very confused??? I have prayed about it, I haven’t recieved an answer. Please give me some feedback to help me find an answer. Thanks in advance!

God Bless You!!!,

Pat
Click to expand...
A good spiritual director sounds like a good idea. In my diocese, it’s required to have been a Catholic for more than two years before being considered for the seminary. I wouldn’t at all discourage you from seeking a vocation to the priesthood, if that’s where God is calling you. But, right now, you’ve been given the gift of this loving relationship with your fiancee, and, especially since you’re a new convert, I would be more hesitant about running into a seminary so soon. I think it’s a good policy for a diocese/religious order to require years of delay before accepting someone (and, I think it should be more than two. I know an older priest who had to wait five years after his conversion before he could be accepted) because of the “honeymoon” effect. It is possible that God is calling you to learn more and to serve Him through the Church, but that does not necessarily mean through the priesthood. The fact that you both love each other deeply is not to be underestimated, in my opinion, because that, too, is a gift of God and a sign of a vocation to marriage (i.e., you have not only the desire, but also its “incarnation” in a relationship with another).

I don’t mean to continue to ramble, but I like examples ;). One of my favorite authors, Hilaire Belloc, found himself in a similar situation with his wife. They had met and had fallen in love with one another, but she had been discerning a vocation to the religious life (and had the added pressure of a mother who was convinced that she had a religious vocation). So, she went back to America, both of them extremely distressed about the possibility of losing their mutual love. Belloc sold many prized possessions in order to take a boat to America and travel to California so that he could try to convince her to marry him. She turned him down, and they were both crushed, but she thought she was following God’s will for her life. Belloc’s mother stepped in and wrote a letter to Elodie (Belloc’s love interest) which I think is pertinent to your situation:
“I have already told you more than eight months ago that I only desire to know what is really on your mind; and if you really love my son, you certainly ought not to enter the religious life. Any reasonable priest, indeed any priest, would tell you the same. There is nothing wrong with your love for each other, and I cannot in the least understand the misery which you cause the one to the other. Pray, my dear child, do not waste your life and his, in a struggle of feeling which seems to me quite wrong and useless, and if you do love him, follow the love simply, as God’s will, and come over to me.”
The back-and-forth between Elodie and Hilaire lasted for years, until she finally entered a convent and left it within weeks, convinced that God’s will was right in front of her, but that she had been somewhat blind to it. In the end, they continued their great love affair through marriage and several children.

With prayers,
Kevin
 
Thanks for everyone who’s tried to help me here. I guess my next step is to talk to my parish priest and see what he thinks about it. I have really been struggling with this question in my heart. Still, I feel like I have no concrete answers on what to do. I just wish that I did. I have prayed about this alot, but still, nothing. Thanks again!

Pat
 
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