Help...I hate feeling this way!

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CrawlingBack

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I know this may sound petty, but it is really eating at me. A short time before lent started we had our parish auction, and I was the chairperson. I worked very hard on the event and it was quite a hit…we had more people than ever and the money generated exceeded all expectations. Our pastor seemed very pleased at the time, but I was more than a little hurt at our wrap-up meeting recently when he talked about the great success of the auction and just generally gave a nod of thanks to all who were involved whereas in the past he had always also mentioned & personally thanked the chairperson. I gave up several weekends and hours of time with my family during the past year to make sure all the details were taken care of so everything would run smoothly. I don’t mean to complain, but I find myself in the uncomfortable position of feeling wounded and upset, but yet unable to tell anyone. I can’t stand that I feel this way, for it seems so infantile and futile. I keep wondering if I did something to annoy or offend him, but I can’t consciously think of anything. I know we are not supposed to be seeking praise or recognition when we do something good for our church, but his indifference & apparent lack of gratitude for my time, energy & sweat confuses me greatly. I’ve been praying to just bite the bullet and move on, but I can’t seem to shake it off. How do I handle this? I will be grateful for any advice that you can give me.
 
Recognition.
Some people do not know that is that important.
To see that someone give time unselfish to another.
You need just to see that this kind of problem you can have with some people not all.
Do not watch behind, watch in future.
 
CrawlingBack said:
I know this may sound petty, but it is really eating at me. A short time before lent started we had our parish auction, and I was the chairperson. I worked very hard on the event and it was quite a hit…we had more people than ever and the money generated exceeded all expectations. Our pastor seemed very pleased at the time, but I was more than a little hurt at our wrap-up meeting recently when he talked about the great success of the auction and just generally gave a nod of thanks to all who were involved whereas in the past he had always also mentioned & personally thanked the chairperson. I gave up several weekends and hours of time with my family during the past year to make sure all the details were taken care of so everything would run smoothly. I don’t mean to complain, but I find myself in the uncomfortable position of feeling wounded and upset, but yet unable to tell anyone. I can’t stand that I feel this way, for it seems so infantile and futile. I keep wondering if I did something to annoy or offend him, but I can’t consciously think of anything. I know we are not supposed to be seeking praise or recognition when we do something good for our church, but his indifference & apparent lack of gratitude for my time, energy & sweat confuses me greatly. I’ve been praying to just bite the bullet and move on, but I can’t seem to shake it off. How do I handle this? I will be grateful for any advice that you can give me.
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The best way I handle it is to realize that everyone has our gifts, and love languages.
Words of affirmation are one of the 5 “love languages.” While a pop psychology term, it still resonates with me, and I believe “all truth is God’s truth, insofar as it is true.”
So, sounds like you have acts of service and words of affirmation as your love languages.
All priests have to wear so many hats, that the auction leader hat might not be his favorite or best mode to work in.
Probably he doesn’t have the love language of “words of affirmation,” so it doesn’t even register to him that he needed to offer some kind of praise and affirmation.

Offer it up.
 
Our need to be recognized for a job well done, and in front of others, is human. And with a little extra enthusiasm too, by darned, especially when we go out of our way, giving up time with family, losing sleep over the details, making sure everything is just so, and setting a record for generating revenues in the bargain. What more do these people want?😉 It’s a big letdown when something we’ve anguished over passes with a whimper, or worse like a punch in the solar plexis, when it seems no one, not even the pastor, realizes what a excellent job we did.

Actually, you’ve come to the right place. You can say all kinds of things here you wouldn’t dare say directly. Don’t hate yourself for feeling the way you do. Next year they’ll be asking you to do it again. That’s when they’ll be telling you what a great job you did. When they need a great job done again. You can always say no…but you won’t, because you’ll be way over it by then. God bless. Oh, yeah, HE knows.👍
 
Your right ; it is petty ; it is childish it is silly and boy do these things gnaw away at you. Join the club we have all been there at some point and it is hard to shake. You have two choices either get over it with time and working with the more adult reasoning part of your brain ; it was probably an oversight and you didn’t do it for the praise or thank you. Or you can casually mention it next time you meet but im guessing the mutual embarrassment would negate any positive benifet.

We all need a pat on the back but this time its your lot to be a behind the seen hero. Offer your hurt feeling up in prayer for all the people suffering in the world today and earn a real clap on the back from the one that counts.

But a big well done from me for what its worth 👍
 
Well I sure appreciate you sharing that with us. I know it really does stink when we know we should just let these things just roll off our shoulders and we just can’t seem to do it. And the more you tell yourself it’s so small and petty the bigger and harder it seems to get. I’ve been there too…lots of times and it just plain stinks.

Why don’t you try giving yourself permission to feel sad for a couple of minutes, then try to accept what happened and let it go…sometimes that works for me. Also, just spend sometime in the garden with Jesus, just imagine just kneeling next to Him, holding His hands and just being with Him as He goes through His Agony…that will help you too.
 
This is a very good opportunity for you to work on doing things purely for the love of God. Of course even Jesus was disappointed when only one of the ten lepers returned to thank Him, so we know it’s better to be grateful. But when it’s you who are not thanked, you can join your disappointment to His for all the times people do not thank Him. Maybe you could think of this as a big present to offer Jesus in honor of His passion and in reparation for those who do not thank Him at all, ever.
 
CrawlingBack said:
I know this may sound petty, but it is really eating at me. A short time before lent started we had our parish auction, and I was the chairperson. I worked very hard on the event and it was quite a hit…we had more people than ever and the money generated exceeded all expectations. Our pastor seemed very pleased at the time, but I was more than a little hurt at our wrap-up meeting recently when he talked about the great success of the auction and just generally gave a nod of thanks to all who were involved whereas in the past he had always also mentioned & personally thanked the chairperson. I gave up several weekends and hours of time with my family during the past year to make sure all the details were taken care of so everything would run smoothly. I don’t mean to complain, but I find myself in the uncomfortable position of feeling wounded and upset, but yet unable to tell anyone. I can’t stand that I feel this way, for it seems so infantile and futile. I keep wondering if I did something to annoy or offend him, but I can’t consciously think of anything. I know we are not supposed to be seeking praise or recognition when we do something good for our church, but his indifference & apparent lack of gratitude for my time, energy & sweat confuses me greatly. I’ve been praying to just bite the bullet and move on, but I can’t seem to shake it off. How do I handle this? I will be grateful for any advice that you can give me.
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There is someone who knows every bit of effort and sacrifice that you had put forth and appreciates it and has counted it all to your benefit. His name is Jesus. He also knows how much it hurts you to not receive personal thanks for the job you did…

11 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

Luke 17:11-19 NIV
 
Thank you so much for all your wonderful advice! I think I’m ready to move on now, and especially since this is Holy Week I can attach my sufferings to the Cross and be there with Jesus for a while. Good grief, when I think of what He went through, I feel so silly for complaining about such a trivial matter, but yet you all made me feel better about the whole situation. This was definitely a “safe place” to go with my problem and I’m glad I did!
Bless you all!
 
CrawlingBack said:
. Our pastor seemed very pleased at the time, but I was more than a little hurt at our wrap-up meeting recently when he talked about the great success of the auction and just generally gave a nod of thanks to all who were involved whereas in the past he had always also mentioned & personally thanked the chairperson…
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what do you want of your pastor?..you said yourself that he seemed pleased and gave a nod of thanks to ALL who were involved…meaning you and all the others who sacrificed their time to help out…
 
Yeah you’re right, Crystal Waters, I shouldn’t have let it bother me so much. I should be happy knowing that the auction was a huge success and that Father was very pleased with the results. I let my ego get in the way…sorry.
 
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