Help! I like someone who is Baptist

[Bklynguy]

Just one thing. If you happen to be with her on one of the rare “Lord’s Supper” sundays and you are serious about Catholicism do not eat the bread and grape juice.

Sounds easy, but they pass the B&GJ right where you are seated and you will have to handle the trays at least.

Good point–I completely skipped over this part.

One more thing for the OP: feel free to go to Baptist worship service with her (if it ends up becoming more serious–from what I can tell, you haven’t gone out on a date with her yet). However, I would also ask her to attend Mass with you.

 

[Bezant]

My wife is Baptist.

My grandfather was Catholic, my grandmother Baptist. He never missed mass, she never missed Church. They were married 69 years.

It can work.

Same. Most of my family members aren’t Catholic.

 

[Bezant]

AlainVanille’s profile says that he is a university student.

Your comments seem to assume that AlainVanille is in grade school.

Oi! I still have crushes and I’m not in primary school.

 

[TexanKnight]

Yes and your GP’s are proof and I’m throughly happy for you and them.

But still, I’ve been married quit a long time. My wife criticises me and that is just
marriage and I just offer it up most of the time. I’m sure she feels the same about me.
But I must say, that if we were not of the same faith, we would not be the same people we
have become over the years in one faith. And I’m sure something important would have
been missing that we shared together all this time. I believe that faith is the biggest
factor in a marriage for many reasons, number one being, all the family sharing Christ
in unison with no division. “all things become possible”

To give you one example, she is the one who suggested Eucharistic adoration. One of the nicest things we have ever done. I’m the one suggesting the rosary. I encourage some of the women’s activities in the parish as well as the retreats she goes on.
She is the one sho suggests that we pray together for members in the family, especially
to make novenas for them. At other times in discussion of various topics, we share the
Catholic viewpoint and support one another. She is thoughtful about giving clothes, food, and other items to the poor at the parish, and I’m glad she does for I’m a guy and you
know how guys are thoughtless. I forget holydays and she reminds me so I don’t miss
them. Shall I go on? Mariage is so much easier, holier, and better with one faith.
It may be workable in some instances with different faiths, but not as together in so many ways.

It is important who you date, for someday one of them will become your spouse.
And I need to add, pray to Jesus for a good one every day of your life until you meet one
that you don’t know whether to kiss or pray to.

Just a thought.

I can’t imagine any marriage being holier than my grandparents.

 

[AlainVanille]

Your profile indicates you are not yet Catholic. This means I would seriously warn against being in a relationship with this girl. Baptists believe a lot of complete lies about Catholicism and as I assume you are still not fully educated in the faith then being with someone like that would be very dangerous and counter-productive. Be friends, by all means, but do not be in a relationship.

If you are not a baptised Catholic, you are technically free to join their celebrations but if you want to be a Catholic then going is not recommended. I would not go to her church or any worship celebration of theirs - go to a Catholic church, if that is where you feel you belong.

A relationship is a discernment for marriage. With someone of a different church, there are just too many conflicts that arise. It is not advisable.

You are in my prayers.

I understand and I thank you for your wisdom.
Maybe I’m young and a bit stubborn but still…

True that I am not yet a fully indoctrinated into the Catholic Church and her teachings, but still, I believe that I know more than average for someone who isn’t a Catholic.

Just know that I am not really that influenced by anything (except maybe somehow I’m still Catholic biased, since NONE of my friends are.) before and yet I’ve come to the conclusion that the Catholic faith is the most ‘logical’ choice.

 

[AlainVanille]

You can’t be serious. The guy is dating in the hope that he will one day marry her.

How’d you know? Haha.

Yes. SIncere friends are hard to come by. But good wives are also hard, if not harder, to find.

 

[AlainVanille]

My best friends family is Baptist and we ‘talk’ from time to time about religion, and they are told a lot of lies about Catholocism.

I did not practice my faith when I got married, so we had the ceremony in my wifes Congregationalist church. When I started going back to the Catholic church my wife fought tooth and nail about having our marriage blessed by the priest and raising our children Catholic. She has since changed her mind and even enrolled in RCIA. She says it was because of my faith example and things I have taught her about the faith that she didn’t know or someone had lied to her about.

My friend, if you are going to become Catholic, learn as much as you can about the faith. And if you feel you want to be involved with this girl, be firm in your faith and set the Christian example. Others will follow.

I will pray for you. God Bless.

-Michael
“For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul?” -Matthew 16:26

Still being firm. Thanks!

For now, we both respect each others views though I know that for both of us, we still feel a bit awkward about this… But I still wish to go for her church celebration. Note that I’m NOT considering Baptist.

Just doing it, as a sign of goodwill or something. As long as I’m not really partaking in serious stuff it should be ok right??

 

[AlainVanille]

Alain hasn’t said specifically that he’s discerning for marriage,and I don’t believe that he needs to, or that different religious viewpoints in itself will cause a problem.

Alain,

God knows best, and sometimes he intends for people to cross paths, but the decision as to whether or not you’ve romantic a future with her has little to do with divine intervention. It’s to do with you (and her).

What you must know is, assuming that she’s interested in you as well, 1) what sort of relationship you’re looking for, 2) and are you ready for it 3) is this the proper time, the proper place? I know it’s difficult, but you need to be frank with yourself.

If you feel mostly satisfied with your life and are confident, if you’ve a couple close friends (needn’t be that many), and if you’re not struggling through a major change in your life (e.g., starting uni/college, going abroad, starting a new job, etc) – I’d say go for it. If not, you’ll want to rethink pursuing her.

Thanks for the (relationship) advice.

But I’m personally willing to wait. Even if we’re not ready. I will wait. I’ve done it a few times before. I think that’s probably the only time I can be that patient. LOL. >.<

 

[AlainVanille]

Your choice depends on what is more important to you, a wife or religion.
That is where it is leading to.
It is easier to make that decision now than later.
Samual or Samson?
In what direction do you think the Holy Spirit is leading you?

I know a relationship with God is more important. That we both know.
But still I wish for someone who can add to the joy.

But then, it is all up to God to decide I guess, whether I’m supposed to be forever-alone.

 

[AlainVanille]

AlainVanille’s profile says that he is a university student.

Your comments seem to assume that AlainVanille is in grade school.

Hey. Thanks for noticing. Haha.

 

[AlainVanille]

As someone who has looked at this very question from the other direction, I would recommend caution. Before you pursue a romantic relationship with this girl, you need to understand Baptist doctrine in general and how her local church lives out that doctrine. Only then can you really make a good decision about whether or not to pursue this girl. It’s likely that neither her nor you actually understands each others faith very well. Baptists don’t spend time learning Catholic doctrine or teachings, and Catholics often don’t understand Baptist doctrine. At least that has been my experience on this forum.

If you’re serious about becoming an obedient Catholic, what you will probably find is that the two faith traditions are too far apart to make a relationship work without great effort. While we have the basics in common, the implementation and understanding of the faith is very different for each faith tradition.

The very best advice I can offer is to pray about the issue and seek the guidance of a priest and to pray for guidance.

I know. Precisely why I want to go to her church and see things from her point of view.
The good thing about not being officially in any religion is yeah, you’re unlikely to be biased. Well, most of the time.

I come from a half-Muslim half-Buddhist lineage yea but I never really considered any.
I had no Catholic influence whatsoever. All the friends are meet are all New Age Christians, or from other Protestant ecclesiastical communities.

I had no idea how how I suddenly feel the pull towards Catholicism.
Like seriously…

But unlike most people I know, I’m kinda into studying religions, or more formally, Theology, despite being an ‘atheist’ and all.

 

[AlainVanille]

I was once a staunch militant atheist. This girl had said she would never date an atheist because of her past with one. What happened? We dated and look at me now. Haha…

I am not saying to do it, nor am I saying not to. There may be a reason for your befriending her. I don’t know.
From a person usually on the rejected-due-to-beliefs side, I would say go for it. It does not matter that she believes differently (to an extent).

If you are friends with her and have a foundation of care and trust, perhaps God is calling it to the next level. But you should not make the decision based solely on religion. That is very hurtful. I was rejected by a girl who really liked me and wanted a relationship with me, but I was atheist. Same with a Southern Baptist Liberty University graduate. She liked me until she found out I was Catholic. She said, “I will never marry a Catholic” and cut off anything good we had.

I say there is no harm in trying. Don’t pre-judge before you try.

But as far as the attending Baptist ceremonies, I think it is fine as long as you attend the days of obligation and Sunday Mass and such. I play trumpet at various churches. I see no problem with that. You learn a lot. You may want to ask somebody more knowledgeable than me on that though, but I see no problems with it.

Lastly, since you are obviously willing to check out her place of worship, see if she is willing to check out yours. If not,just leave it at that and do your Catholic thing with or without her. Lead by example. She will eventually tell you one Sunday, “Hey, can I go with you this time?”

“Preach the Gospel always; use words if necessary.” ~ St. Francis of Assissi (I think it was him.)

Thanks. Amen to you too brother!
Perhaps this is one way of God’s calling to reconcile our differences and come back to the Truth… Perhaps…

 

[AlainVanille]

Good point–I completely skipped over this part.

One more thing for the OP: feel free to go to Baptist worship service with her (if it ends up becoming more serious–from what I can tell, you haven’t gone out on a date with her yet). However, I would also ask her to attend Mass with you.

Thanks for the tips guys!

 

[wisdomseeker]

Still being firm. Thanks!

For now, we both respect each others views though I know that for both of us, we still feel a bit awkward about this… But I still wish to go for her church celebration. Note that I’m NOT considering Baptist.

Just doing it, as a sign of goodwill or something. As long as I’m not really partaking in serious stuff it should be ok right??

Maybe you would like to listen to this

youtube.com/watch?v=-4qyL4pR0Rk&feature=related

 

[Beautiful_Epona]

I think it should not matter what religion either of you are.
This bugs me. This is what causes wars etc, when people think their religion is correct and everyone else’s isn’t. Why does it matter?

1. Always trust in yourself
2. Always follow your heart. If you don’t you could miss out on your one and only true love
3. Don’t think too far ahead. Marriage is possibly a long way off. Start the relationship first before considering anything else. She may convert, or you might in the next 5-10 years (this depending on how young you are right now).
4. Live in the moment. Enjoy it now! Please don’t worry about the trivial things, it’s not worth it. Enjoy her company now, enjoy her for who she is.
5. Accept her, completely, and trust and accept yourself that you will make the right choice.

Good luck my friend. I believe God is happy with you regardless. Did you ever think that maybe God put you two together for a reason. You might have some wonderful things to teach eachother. Don’t miss the opportunity I say.

Just my opinion.

 

[Beautiful_Epona]

I say, let the young people find one another and have a little optimism.

I agree, very well said. :yup:

 

[AlainVanille]

Maybe you would like to listen to this

youtube.com/watch?v=-4qyL4pR0Rk&feature=related

Thank you. WIll take that into consideration.

 

[AlainVanille]

For your information, I went resarch into her church’s website and this is their doctrinal view:

OUR DOCTRINAL POSITION

1. We believe in the verbal (word), plenary (entire) inspiration of the sixty-six books of the Bible as recorded in the original manuscripts. We believe them to be perfect, without error and inspired of God, our sole Authority in all matters of faith and practice.

We believe the Canon of Scriptures to be closed with no further revelation coming, the process of inspiration has ceased (Jude 3).
We believe inspiration was limited to the original Greek texts and that the Majority extant Greek Texts represent what we say is in truth the Word of God (II Timothy 3:16-17).

1. We believe in the One True God revealed to us as Father, Son and Holy Spirit;

Who is holy, absolutely separate from and above the world as its Creator, yet everywhere present and sovereign (I Peter 1:16).
Who is a Spirit and personal Being, wise, all-powerful and good, the Upholder of all things (John 4:24).

1. We believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, true God and true man, the perfect Lamb of God given for the sins of the world.

Who as the Son, the Eternal Word, the Only Begotten of God by virgin birth was in truth God manifested in human flesh (I Timothy 3:16).
Who suffered under the curse of sin and death, the full penalty of divine wrath, demanded by the Law, in our stead (Galatians 3:13).
Who rose from the grave glorified and exalted as our High Priest to live evermore at the right hand of God our Father (Hebrews 9:24-26).

1. We believe in the Holy Spirit, Who being sent by the Father and Son, is the Agent in revelation and redemption.

Who convicts the world of sin, righteousness and judgment (John 16:8-11).
Who regenerates, guides, teaches, endows with gifts, empowers, and sanctifies all who become the children of God through Christ (John 16:13-15; Acts 1:8).
Who indwells, baptizes, anoints, seals and fills all who enter the great grace (Romans 6:2-5, 8:9-11; Ephesians 1:2-3).
Who changes us into the image of Christ, continuing His life and work together in us, in this present world (John 14:18-21, 23; Romans 8:29).

1. We believe in total depravity, the universal condemnation of the race in Adam in sin.

Who are sinners dead in trespasses and sin (Ephesians 2:1).
Who are sons of wrath without God in the world (Ephesians 2:3).
Who are alienated from the life of God (Ephesians 4:18).
Who are darkness without life (Ephesians 5:8).

1. We believe that salvation is by grace through faith alone and not by works lest any man should rob glory that belongs to God alone.

By God’s free gift of grace neither merited nor deserved (Romans 6:23).
By God’s righteousness transferred from the riches of Christ’s account (Romans 4:5-8).
By adoption with full rights and privileges into the family of God (Ephesians 1:5-6).
By redemption through His blood purchased back after being lost to the bondage of sin and death (I Peter 1:18-19).
By reconciliation, once enemies, now friends and having peace whereby He satisfied all the demands of the Law (Romans 5:10).
By justification declaring the sinner just as if he had never sinned (Romans 5:16-18).
By faith that repents of past evil works and turns to the living God receiving His unconditional promise of mercy and grace (Acts 17:30-31).

1. We believe in holy, separated living and godly works of service as new creations in Christ.

Whom we love and obey (John 14:2).
Whom we have fellowship with (John 14:23).
Whom we depend upon (John 15:5).
Who is our Friend (John 15:12-15).
Whom we are joined in union with (John 17:21-22).
Who is our life (Romans 5:10).

1. We believe in one Gospel outside of which one would be accursed.

The cross upon which Jesus died (I Corinthians 15:1-4).
The tomb in which He lay three days and nights (Matthew 12:39-40).
The resurrection power in which we have been united (Romans 6:4-5).

1. We believe in the Local Church, the congregation of the redeemed.

Of believers under the headship of Christ being lead by the Holy Spirit free of ecclesiastical dictates (Ephesians 1:22-23).
Of believers who have confessed their faith publicly in water baptism (Acts 8:36-37).
Of believers praying, serving, sacrificing and responsible to God for their own ministries and testimony (Acts 15:1-4).
Of believers organized, disciplined, obedient and covenanted together in the Great Commission (Matthew 18:15-17).
Of believers assembling together to worship, prayer, exhortation, comfort and edification, always remembering the Lord’s death during the Lord’s Table before and in contrast to a wicked world (Hebrews 10:23-25).

1. We believe in the Second Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ to establish His Kingdom.

The resurrection of the righteous to reign with Him (I Thessalonians 4:16-17).
The judgment of the lost into final everlasting punishment (John 5:27-29).
The rewarding of the faithful saints (I Corinthians 3:13-14).
The literal thousand year reign (Revelation 20:6).
The establishing of Christ’s Lordship, began in the redeemed, now extended to all creation at last (I Corinthians 15:24-26).
The casting of Satan and his demon angels into the Lake of Fire and final destitution (Revelation 20:7-10).

 

[AlainVanille]

But of course, that may not really help much…