So, I asked again about a guide being available. I was told, “No, Father wants them to learn the prayers and the steps for Reconciliation.” This was the same when my son made his First Penance, when I made mine and when my husband made his. My thought is if I need to read off a card, I’m not going often enough.
PM me if you would like to express displeasure about how we run our program. I’ll provide the number of the religious education coordinator.
A guess here, but it might depend somewhat on the penitent.
I have always had the ability to memorize things and recite them back word-for-word. I did learn the Act of Contrition before my first Confession, and didn’t find it hard. However, I know that different people have different strengths in academic areas, and not everyone will necessarily find it easy to memorize that kind of thing, especially if it isn’t said often. While ideally, the kids would be going every couple of weeks, it sounds like they won’t, so why make them more scared and nervous and so on by making them memorize something they won’t “use” at any other time?
(My mother handled it by incorporating the Act of Contrition into our nightly prayers, so we memorized it by saying it every night. Good idea, that.)
I don’t quite know what the answer is. I wish I did. It seems like this is a very imperfect situation, and no answer will be ideal. I do lean more towards making this as easy as possible on the kids, provided they’re of an age and understanding to know what’s going on sacramentally, in the hopes that they’ll see Reconciliation as more of an opportunity to admit what they did wrong and receive forgiveness and absolution and less of a formulaic, intimidating experience that they have to get through, know what I mean? Of course, in a perfect world, their parents would be taking them at least once a month, but I’m sure you’ve noticed that this ain’t a perfect world.
sigh
I will also say this: my mother, who handled our religious ed, made Confession into a very frightening and formulaic thing, which meant that I stayed as clear of it as possible as an adult for a long time. I wish she had instead focused on trusting that the priest will keep the seal of Confession, is there to wipe away our sins, the wonders of God’s mercy, and so forth.
ETA: re your comment about not going often enough–but these are kids! To them, it’s literally all completely new. If I taught you a prayer today of the length of the Act of Contrition, but told you that you could only expect to say it again perhaps two months from now and wouldn’t encounter it between now and then, would you feel bad if you didn’t remember it perfectly eight weeks hence? Of course not, and you certainly shouldn’t! So my question is–why should these kids, who certainly don’t have your and my history of going to confession for decades, be expected to have it word-perfect on the first go-round, with all the pressure and worry and fears associated with a first confession?
