Help! I'm being asked to lie for my father!

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dzheremi

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Hello all,

Economic circumstances have forced me to move back into my father’s house as of about 5 months ago. It’s not an ideal situation, but we do get along pretty well and it is only temporary. I feel really blessed to even have a father who would take me, his adult 27-year old son, into his house again even though there’s nothing beyond his own desire to help me out that makes him required to agree to do so. I tell him often how much I appreciate him and what a good father he is (this hasn’t always been the case for all of my or my brother’s lives, so I think it’s good to remind him of what a good job he has done since reaching a point when he could take his parenthood seriously about 15 years ago).

Anyway, as good as all that is, it doesn’t always translate into him making the most moral decisions or holding the most moral views on things. He was baptized Catholic as a child but quickly fell away from the faith once he entered his teeange years. As far as I know he has never turned back to the Church, and has no plans to do so. He is in his 60s now, and I do not make it a point to preach to him how he should be living, even though he does do some things that are most definitely not okay or in conformity with Catholic teachings. Generally I just shake my head and keep praying for him, rather than have an argument that won’t change anything every time he decides to do something I don’t agree with. I don’t know if it does any good, but I try.

The problem is that a few minutes ago he told me, very non-chalantly, that someone may be coming to the house to serve him papers to appear in court. If such a person were to come by, I should tell them that he is out of town until Christmas (he travels as part of his job, so this would be believable to anyone who knows him). But, of course, he is not out of town until Christmas. He is here now, asking me to lie for him. I obviously don’t want him to get sued (the “case” in question does not exactly involve anything morally questionable to begin with; people with whom my family shares a piece of property but does not get along with are trying to force him to sell the property when he doesn’t want to). What should I do? I don’t like lying, even if it is for my father and in his interest.
 
Don’t lie. You kindly tell your father that you’re not going to lie. Plus, you can also get in trouble if you lie to an official of the court like that. It is always wrong to lie most especially when it has to do with court. It’s not easy, I know, but you can pray to God to help you with this difficult situation.
 
Be away from home as much as you can until the papers are served.

Betsy
 
Your father obviously has no problem asking you to place yourself in a position where you could be held in contempt of court. You should have no difficulty telling him that you will not lie.

However, I sense that your real concern isn’t moral, so much as it is concern that your dad will throw you out of the house unless you cooperate.

Then again, you could tell the truth by saying, “I have been instructed by my father to tell you that he is out of town until…”

Start looking for a new place to live.
 
That’s a tough situation, because it might be easy for us to say don’t lie, but that’s your dad and that might be hard for you to say no to him. I guess if I were you I would talk to your dad about it, and tell him that by lying he might get in more trouble. and plus it’s not like they aren’t ever going to come back. So, mine as well deal with it now. Maybe try help getting him a good lawyer, or whatever. And, of course pray for him. Hope that helps!!
 
Then again, you could tell the truth by saying, “I have been instructed by my father to tell you that he is out of town until…”

Start looking for a new place to live.
I agree. Being an adult and living with my own parents (I moved back home when circumstances found me unmarried, unemployed, homeless and pregnant) and while it was amazing that they were completely willing to do so, it was so…HARD. Though my parents are devout Catholics who have never asked me to lie, my parents are devout Catholics and they at times made their disapproval quite clear.

But I digress… I agree that you shouldn’t lie. First of all, they are not able to serve papers to anyone not listed on the documents. Therefore you legally can litterally say “I have been instructed by my father…” etcetra. Or you can pray that your father genuinly isn’t at home. 🙂

Good luck! And good luck finding stable housing! This economy sucks.
 
Don’t lie. And remember, one can never do evil to bring about good.
 
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