Help, in trouble and need guidance

[fireproofpoodle]

Dear friends,

I am a young Catholic with several problems, your thoughts on which I would appreciate.

I do believe and love the Lord as much as I can, and hence I make him the focus of my life. I am by no means perfect, but i do try to put Jesus before everything else. I try to persue God with all my heart and to imitate the saints as closely as possible - I go regularly to mass and confession and pray often. My family, however, do not seem to understand. My father is an atheist and my mother a christian, but not a particularly strict one. My mom hates my recent conversion to the catholic church and will not allow me to be confirmed. Both of my parents worry that the “balance” of my life is being distorted and that I am making religion too important.

When I respond that religion and God cannot be made too important, they do not understand. My mom has forbidden me to go to confession and is going to get the local priest to talk to me this week - I am frightened she may forbid me to go to mass on sundays as well (if so, what should I do? Should I defy her, as it is a day of obligation?). It seems I am faced with the impossible task of trying to make two non-catholics understand that God is the most important thing in my life.

On top of this, I am worried about my relationship with the Lord. I do not feel close to him at all - I feel like I know who he is and what he did for us in Jesus, but not that I know him. I do not seem to derive any joy from God, althought I know that Jesus’ coming into my life is the best thing that will ever happen to me.

Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle these problems? Please pray for me, brothers and sisters.

God bless.

 

[WinterWH]

As a minor, you need to obey your parents, unless there is severe physical abuse, in which case the authorities would need to get involved … which would include your moving to a foster home. Pretty extreme and unpleasant as an alternative.

So, do as much as you can on your own. Worst case, keep praying on your own.

And as soon as you are able to become self-sufficient on your own, then you can publicly resume the practice of following the Catholic faith.

Once you get to the minimum age for independence, you can get a job and get your own place to live and get a car or join the military and use that venue to develop your own adulthood.

Try to “negotiate” with your parents as politely as humanly or divinely possible. But until you reach 18 or 21 or whatever the age is for your area and are able to earn enough money to be on your own, you really need to be subject to your parents.

Once you are out and about on your own, then you can communicate with a priest and develop a Catholic network and get confirmed and get caught up with what you have missed.

In the meanwhile, each day say a good act of contrition and pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance for yourself and for your parents and brothers and sisters.

Sometimes, just the silent prayers to the Holy Spirit are enough for God to reach down and convert others.

Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and to put the right words in your mouth.

Remember that the Lord does understand your situation. When Jesus was a little boy, he went off on his own and worried his parents, Mary and Joseph, terribly. Recall how they went back and found Jesus lecturing the priests at the temple. And how he was very “cheeky” with them and even rude. “I must be about my father’s business”. The young child, Jesus, is/was God, the Infinite, but he finally decided to be subject to Mary and Joseph and stayed obedient to them until he was much older. In his case, quite a bit older. Remember how even as an adult, Mary his mother gave him orders telling him what to do – at the Marriage Feast at Cana. In fact, she asserted her authority over him by not even speaking to him directly but told the waiters to speak to Jesus.

And as exasperated as he [He was God, for goodness sake!] was [WOMAN!, my time has not yet come], Jesus did as his mother wished and did it so well that the wine Jesus made was the best highest quality wine that there was.

So, in your mind, visit the mysteries of the rosary. And realize that right now you are in the “junior” phase that even Jesus, the Messiah, God the Son of God, went through.

 

[wisdomseeker]

oh dear. there is no need to be desperate. really. our Lord knows your heart and where your heart is. when adversities arises, rejoice in the Lord, for He knows your desires.

if you know the lives of the Saints, none of them had it easy. tests and trials, and courage was what kept them going.

if you are a minor, i would think that the Priest has to listen to what your mother says.
although i believe that if you really honest with your mother and speak to her with love and charity about your faith, i truly believe that your mother will evently accept your Faith. if she sees how patient and obedient you are, she will realize that you are truly in love with the Lord and His Church. use websites to explain your faith to your mother. but do it with calm entusiasm. pray before reply to your mother’s remark. remember that to honor your mother and father is obeying the Lord.

i pray that your Faith will never faint. May our Lord bless you with obedience to Him until the end. Pray the Creed every day for your and your mother. Hear my prayer, Oh Lord.

 

[MarysGirls]

Whatever you do, do it with respect and above all prayer. While you are a minor and therefore subject to your parents, remember that God is above your parents. I am not sure what I would do in your situation, but I can say this: God asks us to honor our father and mother, but this does not mean you should sin to please them. Try to remain obedient to them, but if they ask you to sin, refuse. Also, perhaps you could discuss your situation with your priest. You could also find a saint that faced a problem similar to yours and pray for guidance and strength.
Don’t lose hope! Remember that this too shall pass. While God may seem far away, He is holding you in His arms at this very moment. Don’t be afraid to tell Him everything. He understands. In fact, He too was misunderstood in the worse way. He came through it and now He is helping you do the same. I am praying for you. :hug1:

 

[Alvarillo]

You are definitely in a difficult situation. I cannot give better advice than what has allready been given save to say that your situation is not the first of it’s kind. Many have suffered through similar things and have come out stregthened in their faith. Take this as a test, a test of faith and of virtues. Offer your doubts and your troubles to the Lord and pray with all your heart. Also, if you say your parents are going to send for the local priest there is one more thing you can do there. Open your heart to this man, tell him of your fears and perhaps he can shed some light on the current situation offering some way in which you could both fulfill your obligations as a Catholic and as a son.

You will be in my prairs.

 

[Alvarillo]

You could also find a saint that faced a problem similar to yours and pray for guidance and strength.

Perhaps saint Bárbara, very popular in my part of Spain as she is the patron of miners and there are a lot of coal mines. She was martyred by her pagan father for becoming a Christian. Admittedly quite a bit more extreme than your current situation, but helpful nonetheless. catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=166

 

[Peter_Dawson]

Dear friends,

On top of this, I am worried about my relationship with the Lord. I do not feel close to him at all - I feel like I know who he is and what he did for us in Jesus, but not that I know him. I do not seem to derive any joy from God, althought I know that Jesus’ coming into my life is the best thing that will ever happen to me.

Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle these problems? Please pray for me, brothers and sisters.

God bless.

There’s a way to internally test your relationship with God: The prayer experiment.

Pray to God, once, with faith that He will help, re this business with your mother.

If you can’t find within yourself the faith that He will answer, pray for faith in praying, first, then pray to God fror help.

You will feel secure in the knowledge that He will help.

Next, when the answer to your prayer arrives, you will actually hear God TALK to you, using your own mental voice as well as your first name, along the lines of, “Here is the answer to your prayer.”

Give it a shot. I swear that it will work.

 

[fireproofpoodle]

There’s a way to internally test your relationship with God: The prayer experiment.

Pray to God, once, with faith that He will help, re this business with your mother.

If you can’t find within yourself the faith that He will answer, pray for faith in praying, first, then pray to God fror help.

You will feel secure in the knowledge that He will help.

Next, when the answer to your prayer arrives, you will actually hear God TALK to you, using your own mental voice as well as your first name, along the lines of, “Here is the answer to your prayer.”

Give it a shot. I swear that it will work.

Thanks. I gave it a shot and it did work! The Lord gave me some great advice about how to handle the situation and about how I could improve my prayers. Thanks.

 

[Peter_Dawson]

Thanks. I gave it a shot and it did work! The Lord gave me some great advice about how to handle the situation and about how I could improve my prayers. Thanks.

Isn’t the Prayer Experiment amazing?

One of those agnostic gays who populate the atheist websites is an on-line friend of mine. I challenged her to try the Prayer Experiment, but asked her to report back after she received her answer.

A problem chased her down the street like a barking dog.

She prayed for the faith to at least agree that God MIGHT be there, to respond to prayers.

She prayed for help once.

The answer came.

She reported back, saying, “Listen, Peter challenged me to try the Prayer Experiment. I did. It worked, as he promised it would.”

 

[philipmarie]

WinterWH;5669591, I do not mean to be rude or uncharitable but, man, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? Do you realize what you are saying? The Blessed Virgin will never wish anything contrary to what Jesus wanted and She definitely was not like the way in which you put Her (a Mother who gave Her child no liberty and who ordered him around).

he was not even in the least cheeky. If Jesus was cheeky and rude to His Mother (something which He definitely never did as He loves Her so much and would never break Her Heart), I would leave the Catholic Church as nobody, not even God Himself can be rude or arrogant towards his own Mother, something we despise in every men; especially since Mary did nothing wrong. He just said that He was at His Father business as a response to His dear Mother’s loving complaint (and yes, Mary knew Jesus was God and She knew that She is the Mother of us all).
He was not exasperated, he was just saying that if anybody else came to Him with that same request, He would not have granted it but, since He LOVED His Mother so much, He granted Her wish. And Jesus never went through the troubling situation which the poor OP is suffering.

Anyway, for love of Mary, let us not discuss this topic on this thread and adress the OP’S problem.

 

[philipmarie]

When you mean the local priest, do you mean the priest of your ‘christian church’ or a catholic priest?

I know of loads of stories where people suffered because they were Catholic and they were non-catholic. The Church teaches that we should obey our parents in their household duties, but NEVER NEVER doe sit it teach, nay, THE CHURCH CONDEMNS in the strongest terms these malicious teachings:

-that if your non-catholic/catholic parents were to command you to not join the Catholic Church or to not be pious you must obey them. This erronous. If a woman told her teenage son to abandon his pure, chaste pious girlfriend, would he abandon her? Heck no! So also do not leave the catholic church! Be brave valaint soldier!
-that if your parents told you that you have to get married, even if you did not want to, then you must obey. False. An ignorant Priest will say that since your parents want yo to get married (even though you were planning to enter the religous life), you have to obey them. Don’t, as we must obey our parents in their household duties. But, in our choice of state of life, we don’t even need to tell our parents; we may just enter the religous life as we please even if one’s parents were to be very, very displeased.

My friend, I understand you. I highly suggest that you read Catholic doctrine and history on your computer. Keep on praying but most of all, be very, very devoted towards the Blessed Virgin. You should really read True Devotion to Mary for one thing (here’s a link showing the true, pure authentic text. By far the best translation of the work ever made! our.homewithgod.com/immaculateheart/louis/)

Do not be afraid of loving Mary too much. Saint Maximilian Kole said that the devil always tries to seperate souls from the Blessed Virgin; he know that when a soul strays from Her, he will not recieve so much grace. I’ll pray for you and be assured that the Blessed Virgin will always protect you, no matter what happens.

 

[wisdomseeker]

When you mean the local priest, do you mean the priest of your ‘christian church’ or a catholic priest?

I know of loads of stories where people suffered because they were Catholic and they were non-catholic. The Church teaches that we should obey our parents in their household duties, but NEVER NEVER doe sit it teach, nay, THE CHURCH CONDEMNS in the strongest terms these malicious teachings:

-that if your non-catholic/catholic parents were to command you to not join the Catholic Church or to not be pious you must obey them. This erronous. If a woman told her teenage son to abandon his pure, chaste pious girlfriend, would he abandon her? Heck no! So also do not leave the catholic church! Be brave valaint soldier!
-that if your parents told you that you have to get married, even if you did not want to, then you must obey. False. An ignorant Priest will say that since your parents want yo to get married (even though you were planning to enter the religous life), you have to obey them. Don’t, as we must obey our parents in their household duties. But, in our choice of state of life, we don’t even need to tell our parents; we may just enter the religous life as we please even if one’s parents were to be very, very displeased.

My friend, I understand you. I highly suggest that you read Catholic doctrine and history on your computer. Keep on praying but most of all, be very, very devoted towards the Blessed Virgin. You should really read True Devotion to Mary for one thing (here’s a link showing the true, pure authentic text. By far the best translation of the work ever made! our.homewithgod.com/immaculateheart/louis/)

Do not be afraid of loving Mary too much. Saint Maximilian Kole said that the devil always tries to seperate souls from the Blessed Virgin; he know that when a soul strays from Her, he will not recieve so much grace. I’ll pray for you and be assured that the Blessed Virgin will always protect you, no matter what happens.

I understand what you are trying to say, but isnt this against Scriptures?
doesnt not our Lord says, that we must follow him? if his parents tell him to stop going to Church, is it not wrong for him to stop? should he follow God or man?

 

[philipmarie]

oh dear. there is no need to be desperate. really. our Lord knows your heart and where your heart is. when adversities arises, rejoice in the Lord, for He knows your desires.

if you know the lives of the Saints, none of them had it easy. tests and trials, and courage was what kept them going.

if you are a minor, i would think that the Priest has to listen to what your mother says.
although i believe that if you really honest with your mother and speak to her with love and charity about your faith, i truly believe that your mother will evently accept your Faith. if she sees how patient and obedient you are, she will realize that you are truly in love with the Lord and His Church. use websites to explain your faith to your mother. but do it with calm entusiasm. pray before reply to your mother’s remark. remember that to honor your mother and father is obeying the Lord.

i pray that your Faith will never faint. May our Lord bless you with obedience to Him until the end. Pray the Creed every day for your and your mother. Hear my prayer, Oh Lord.

Yes, that’s exactly what the OP should do. At first, more through pride and hypocrisy rather than lov eof Mary, I tried converting people by being very, very strict towards them: I gave up joking, laughing, always with a serious expression, anyone who didn’t listen to me I deemed him a Pharisee (guess who was the real Pharisee huh?). I pressed too much. But, after reading Bedside book of Saints and after having found out more about the Mercy of Mary, I got convinced that kindness and gentkeness is the only way. You make people sort of like you and will definitely listen to you if you treat them well with love and sincerity. I suggest reading the life of Saint John Bosco. He was very, very devoted to Mary and is one of the most beloved Siants in the Church (he’s my dads favorite saint too!).

(Note: I suggest seeing every type of Catholic website for doctrine or instruction (except of course those of false schismatic catholics like the Palmarian catholic church and the old catholic church super heretics) whether, ahem, they be sedevacantist or sedeimptist or traditionalist. You will not learn the whole catholic faith from CA alone. In fact, devotional sites which are there just for giving prayers do not often give Church documents or articles of what the past Church actually thaught. These are invaluable and I learned alot by reading Catholic Doctrine from a pre-conciliar church perspective.