Help! Kids and Catholic Education

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I’m a convert. I didn’t go through catechism classes, but rather a half-hearted RCIA class. During RCIA, the education director flat out told us that when kids get out of our parish’s Catechism program, they “really don’t know their faith.” (Then, why have a program if they don’t really learn anything???)

So, what questions do I need to ask when approaching other parishes about their catechism programs? What things should I specifically be looking for? I want my kid to know our faith, not just have a vague idea about why we go to mass and do stuff.

I’ve tried asking my Catholic friends, but I’m not sure that they really understand what I’m asking because this is all new to me. In Protestantism, you just send the kid to the age-appropriate Sunday school class. There aren’t forms/fees or the expectation that this learning time will be “too serious.” (I didn’t have any faith guidance from my parents when I was my son’s age, so it’s not like I had a role model for the role that I’m trying to assume in my son’s life.) Am I just making this harder than it should be? That is certainly a possibility, as I am a worry-wart.

It’s one thing for me as an adult to be learning the faith, but it’s another for me to entrust others to teaching my son the faith.

Also, my husband is also a convert, but at this point, he’s not interested in attending mass, so he’s not too worried about our son’s catechism experience. (I give this as additional information, not as something to debate. Thanks, in advance, for respecting that.)
 
THe church teaches that the parents are the number one teachers of the faith to their children.

It is first and foremost YOUR responsibility to teach them. A catechism class is simply a supplemental aid that helps them learn and meet the catholic community.

That being said, it is still important to look for a good program. A good program can be very beneficial and powerful! THAT BEING SAID…it’s sadly pretty hard to find a real good one in my experience.

When looking, one of the big signs I would look for is to make sure its from a parish that has lots of youth and that the youth are very engaged in the churches life (go on retreats, participate at mass and in church programs and so forth).

God bless and good luck!
 
Do your best; that’s what the Lord requires. That means to find the best catechism class you can find for your son and send him there if you can.

Do also your best to teach him yourself.

What else can you do?
 
Many Catholic parents Home School their children. These children end up being better catechized than those from Catholic Schools. I think it is because the parents set the example that religion is important to them. I coordinate our parishes Religious Education. As the previous poster said, the parents are the primary educator. We provide a weekly class that lasts an hour to supplement what children are getting at home. We provide Children’s Liturgy of the Word for children ages 3 to 9 during Sunday Mass. If a family has special needs I work provide resources for them and they can prepare the children at home. Not all parishes are that flexible, but it is important for us to serve the families–not the other way around. You can check out Catholic Home School sites to see what resources they use for religion.
 
Kal2012 said:
I’m a convert. I didn’t go through catechism classes, but rather a half-hearted RCIA class. During RCIA, the education director flat out told us that when kids get out of our parish’s Catechism program, they “really don’t know their faith.” (Then, why have a program if they don’t really learn anything???)

So, what questions do I need to ask when approaching other parishes about their catechism programs? What things should I specifically be looking for? I want my kid to know our faith, not just have a vague idea about why we go to mass and do stuff.

I’ve tried asking my Catholic friends, but I’m not sure that they really understand what I’m asking because this is all new to me. In Protestantism, you just send the kid to the age-appropriate Sunday school class. There aren’t forms/fees or the expectation that this learning time will be “too serious.” (I didn’t have any faith guidance from my parents when I was my son’s age, so it’s not like I had a role model for the role that I’m trying to assume in my son’s life.) Am I just making this harder than it should be? That is certainly a possibility, as I am a worry-wart.

It’s one thing for me as an adult to be learning the faith, but it’s another for me to entrust others to teaching my son the faith.

Also, my husband is also a convert, but at this point, he’s not interested in attending mass, so he’s not too worried about our son’s catechism experience. (I give this as additional information, not as something to debate. Thanks, in advance, for respecting that.)
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Parents are the first teachers of religion in their children’s life. There are many good books that are age appropriate they can read and discuss with you. Also, Ignatius Press DVD’s are very much enjoyed by my grandchildren, particularly Clare and Francis, and St. John Bosco. Another important thing is for families to pray together on a regular basis. CCD is meant to be supportive of the parents education of their children in the faith, the the sole teacher of it.
 
Hi Kal,
Welcome to the Church 🙂

WRT your husband, pray really hard for him: children are much more likely to follow their fathers than their mothers–it does seem unfair, but there it is. Even if he just goes to Mass with you and the children, it will be extremely helpful, so pray a lot.

I was baptized but not raised Catholic, so I know exactly where you are! There is enough about Catholicism to take more than one lifetime to learn, so one thing is to let your children see you learning about the Faith so they will have the model of an adult continuing to learn.

These are what I have learned over the years: the children need to learn the basics of the Faith, to pray, fast, and give alms, and they need to have a relationship with God, Christ, and the saints, as well as a basic knowledge of Sacred Scripture and the virtues.

Some hints: I was fortunate that my children were little when I returned: it gave me a chance to learn enough to be ahead of them. I read: Home Sweet Rome (Hahn–I read this on Wedenesday and that Sunday I went to Mass 🙂 This, imo, is a great introduction, esp for Protestants); the Baltimore Catechism, and Radio Replies. Then I used the Baltimore Catechims (the old ones) with my children. I have also heard that the Faith and Light series is very good.

WRT to prayers, I started by teaching them prayers (basic Catholic and prayers from Mass which helped them participate) during our evening prayers, then the Rosary little by little with the help of a tape–this mostly occurred in the car as we had a couple of long car trips each week.

Reading Bible stories and saints stories and continuing when they are older is very good, and those will lead right into understanding the virtues. If you read about martyrs, you can remind a child about how they behaved when your child complains about something; you can use a saint’s obedience when your child are slow to respond, etc. Setting up a model and drawing children forward to virtue is better than the typical “rules-based” way I tended towards when mine were young :o (Not: quit crying, but, remember how brave St Lawrence was!) And teach them to offer up their “prayers, works, joys, and sufferings,”–I used this little prayer: All for Thee, dear Jesus, Who has suffered so much for me.)

As you learn more, you will have a better idea of what to pass on to your children, bit you want to have the Faith infuse your life and then it will set a good example to your children. Two very good books are Introduction to the Devout Life and Spiritual Combat.

(I have a list with links that I will copy in another post.)
 
Plan on teaching alot of the faith at home. Our parish’s PSR program is a complete joke. I’ve actually volunteered to help with it and I’ve been completely appalled and the complete waste of time. (They also charge two-hundred bucks a kid!) Despite the obvious lacking of the courses, the parents and parish do nothing but dote on what a great program it is. I just don’t get it. I think there are other parishes that have better programs, but I think primarily the parents have to teach the faith. There are lots of resources available for parents who want to teach their kids about the faith. You can get them at Catholic bookstores or online.
 
Hi Kal,
This is a list of online resources which I have been putting together, so some may be irrelevant to your questions, bit here it is:

Mp3 audio Scriptural Rosary

A review of iPieta. Run a search for the version on your platform or search for it in your platform’s store if you want to get it.

Teacher’s edition of Baltimore Catechism which includes explanations

A page on which are linked the sections of several catechisms, including the current CCC, under the appropriate topic, so if you are studying one topic in one, you can easily find alternate explanations.

A note on the Baltimore Cathecism: this comes in several versions some of which are simplified for the use of children. I hope to find one page listing them all soon.

Radio Replies These were a series of collections of letters and answers to 2 Australian priests from the 1930s to the 1960s or so. These are excellent, and a bonus for me is I always feet like my mind has been sharpened up when I read them 🙂 Very thorough explanations of Catholic teaching, and often answering somewhat antagonistic questions and so an excellent resource for people who get a lot of questions about their Faith.

Sonitus Sanctus. A blog containing links to many online audio resources of interest to Catholics. Altho he has not posted very much since he married and had a baby, there was so much up there that it is also a wonderful resource.

Sermons in MP3 and podcast version on many Catholic topics. On the right, there are headings to where the sermons are sorted by topic, so this is helpful when learning.

Catholic ebooks, similar to Sontitus Santus above, only with Catholic e-books online.

Don’t be overwhelmed by all this; it is a list I have developed over the course of many years and should be considered as more of a library than a list of textbooks for one course.
 
I teach CCD in my parish. There are 24 classes each year, two of which of parties for Christmas and the end of year. Each class is one hour long. By the time all the stragglers wander in, I’ve lost five to ten minutes; we close up shop and say our closing prayer at least five minutes before the end of class so they’re all outside when their parents pick them up. That works out to 16 hours of instruction a year. That’s IF the student doesn’t miss any classes. Over 12 years of education (few students attend all through high school), that’s 198 hours.

I went to Catholic school. We had religion class for 45 minutes every day. Over a 180-day school year, that works out to 135 hours EACH YEAR. If you attend for 12 years, you receive over 1600 hours of religious education. Also, other classes, like history and social studies, have a basis in Catholic principles.

Additionally, all of my teachers had backgrounds in education and classroom management. CCD teachers are volunteers, many of whom have no training. Our diocese provides a couple of workshops each year, and our director usually has one or two training sessions.

On top of that, there is a great deal of difference between the knowledge each student brings to class. Some parents have done a wonderful job in teaching their children; others have seldom been to Mass and have absolutely NO background on which to build. If you teach at a level which they can understand, the other students are bored and act up.

Unless their parents are very knowledgeable about their faith and do an outstanding job of sharing their knowledge with their children, there is no way that a child can get a comprehensive understanding of their faith in the few hours they spend in CCD. I am often amazed at the lack of basic knowledge many adult Catholics have.

As PPs have pointed out, YOU will have to be your child’s main teacher on the faith. You ask why bother to have a CCD program if you don’t have a good one. The answer is, if the parish provided a longer, more vigorous program, there would be very few children in attendance. As it is, CCD is competing with sports, music lessons, tutoring, and myriad extracurricular activities, as well as contending with working parents’ difficult schedules. Most parishes do the best they can, but it is impossible, in the short amount of time they have, to provide a good, well-rounded understanding of the Catholic faith.
 
@ Bookworm: Actually, my thought was why bother having a CCD program if at the end of it, the kids don’t come out of it knowing their faith.

Thank you for the different point of view. I hadn’t looked at it from that perspective.

@ Everyone: Thanks for the suggestions.

@ St. Francis: Thanks for the list! I love having a starting point. I get that I’m supposed to be his primary teacher. It’s just that it’s hard knowing what is reasonable to expect from a parish and its programs since I don’t have a lot of knowledge in that area.
 
I taught Faith Formation in my former parish for about 4 years. It is true that many students would leave, and I would feel like they had learned nothing. Part of it was the curriculum, but the majority of it was simply the parents. At the beginning of my third grade FF class, I had to stand at the front of the class and teach them how to make the sign of the cross, and throughout the year I would have to correct them. However, there were other students who could (no exaggeration here!) list the stations of the cross or tell you the mysteries of the rosary. These differences were a clear indicator of parental teaching.

A few things that I have found work with my own children:

1.) YOU get involved and serve in your parish. When you are preparing a lesson each week, you learn more yourself and you are more likely to share this with your kids.

2.) Make God and The Church a regular topic at family dinner time. While we are talking about our day, the news, etc. I might throw in, “I was reading about this saint, and you are never going to believe what I learned…” Because it is not a “lesson,” the kids really do listen. Some of the stories about the saints are better than the most action packed Hollywood movie and then you can change the conversation to them. “What would you do if…”

3.) Talk about the news in front of your kids with your spouse and let them engage. Of course, this depends on the age of your child. My husband and I have talked about healthcare, abortion, gay marriage, etc. all with my almost 11 year old son in the room. He knows not only where we stand on these issues but also WHY and what the Church teaches. I have been shocked at some of the great logic and real questions that he has about these issues.

4.) Do not just teach them “what” Catholics believe (Faith Formation usually does at least that), but also teach them the “why.” Prepare them for common arguments against Catholics. When my son was 7, he was told by a neighbor kid (same age) that Catholics are going to hell because they worship Mary. Luckily (or accidentally?) we had just recently talked about that and he knew it wasn’t true. Even at that young age he was able to counter that.

5.) Let them see that for you God is real. He is present in your home and in your daily life. Let them see you pray, reading Catholic books, praying the rosary or even just watching EWTN. They are more likely to emulate what you do than to listen to what you say.

Finally, just realize that you and your kids are a work in progress. Pray for them and pray for guidance. The fact that you are asking for help means you are already on the right track!!👍
 
Honestly, I find the whole thing intimidating because he has apraxia. (a speech disorder)

So while he can understand cognitively, he has a hard time expressing himself verbally. He can keep up with his peers, but the speech issue holds him back in some ways. (He’s doing mainstream kindergarten this fall - full time).

As a result, we don’t have the back and forth that most families have with their kids.

(Though I have to admit that I was a proud mama this weekend when he tried to do the sign of the cross and genuflect.)

Anyway, thanks again for the ideas. They are helpful.👍
 
Kal2012 said:
Honestly, I find the whole thing intimidating because he has apraxia. (a speech disorder)

So while he can understand cognitively, he has a hard time expressing himself verbally. He can keep up with his peers, but the speech issue holds him back in some ways. (He’s doing mainstream kindergarten this fall - full time).

As a result, we don’t have the back and forth that most families have with their kids.

(Though I have to admit that I was a proud mama this weekend when he tried to do the sign of the cross and genuflect.)

Anyway, thanks again for the ideas. They are helpful.👍
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Hi there 🙂 My daughter has apraxia and I can relate to trying to teach and understand…she seems to get things fine but honestly I have a hard time understanding her. We do our religious ed at home as my kids go to public school mainly b/c they just get more help and better resources there…

I’m not putting down catholic schools but honestly I think they are played up more than they are worth…I went to one for 13 years and I know soooo many people who I went to school with who are no longer practicing their faith. I think that a good home life and living the faith at home are the best teaching tools you can give 🙂
 
Book_Worm said:
I teach CCD in my parish. There are 24 classes each year, two of which of parties for Christmas and the end of year. Each class is one hour long. By the time all the stragglers wander in, I’ve lost five to ten minutes; we close up shop and say our closing prayer at least five minutes before the end of class so they’re all outside when their parents pick them up. That works out to 16 hours of instruction a year. That’s IF the student doesn’t miss any classes. Over 12 years of education (few students attend all through high school), that’s 198 hours.

I went to Catholic school. We had religion class for 45 minutes every day. Over a 180-day school year, that works out to 135 hours EACH YEAR. If you attend for 12 years, you receive over 1600 hours of religious education. Also, other classes, like history and social studies, have a basis in Catholic principles.

Additionally, all of my teachers had backgrounds in education and classroom management. CCD teachers are volunteers, many of whom have no training. Our diocese provides a couple of workshops each year, and our director usually has one or two training sessions.

On top of that, there is a great deal of difference between the knowledge each student brings to class. Some parents have done a wonderful job in teaching their children; others have seldom been to Mass and have absolutely NO background on which to build. If you teach at a level which they can understand, the other students are bored and act up.

Unless their parents are very knowledgeable about their faith and do an outstanding job of sharing their knowledge with their children, there is no way that a child can get a comprehensive understanding of their faith in the few hours they spend in CCD. I am often amazed at the lack of basic knowledge many adult Catholics have.

As PPs have pointed out, YOU will have to be your child’s main teacher on the faith. You ask why bother to have a CCD program if you don’t have a good one. The answer is, if the parish provided a longer, more vigorous program, there would be very few children in attendance. As it is, CCD is competing with sports, music lessons, tutoring, and myriad extracurricular activities, as well as contending with working parents’ difficult schedules. Most parishes do the best they can, but it is impossible, in the short amount of time they have, to provide a good, well-rounded understanding of the Catholic faith.
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I second all this. You could have the best program in the world with the best, most qualified catechists using the best, most-orthodox textbooks. But with the limited face time, kids pick up far more of their formation in other venues.

Parents need to take seriously their role as primary educators of their children. We cannot simply drop them off at CCD (even if it’s the best CCD program in the world) and expect that we have met our obligations towards our children with regards to faith formation. What they learn in class needs to be reinforced at home.

This is all not to say that parish CCD programs are a waste of time. That’s not the case. Having our children gather with other Catholic children and hear good Catholic things from third-parties is also very helpful in formation. It helps them to realize that being Catholic isn’t just a private family thing.

I would encourage any parent to ask about the textbook being used and to go over it themselves. Get a schedule from the DRE for what lessons will be taught when. Go over the lesson with the child beforehand and again afterwards.

It is also critically important to pray with our children every day. They need to see that this “Catholic stuff” is important to us. That greatly increases the chances that they will be receptive in those few hours where they are in CCD.
 
I am fortunate that my kids have a wonderful CCD program. I hope yours will as well.
That said, there is plenty you can do at home. Do you have a Catholic bookstore nearby? Maybe visit it and see what kind of books and other materials they have for children. Often these are staffed by very knowledgeable employees you can ask questions of.
I pray with my children at night, not just reciting standard prayers, but also asking them “what do we want to thank God for tonight?” and “is there anything we want to ask God for?”. On Sunday nights at dinner, I often try to bring up either the homily or one of the readings from Mass that day and talk about it.
IMHO, one of the most important things you can do with children is teach them how the Gospel and Golden Rule relate to things in their everyday life. When one of my children is talking to me about, for example, a disagreement with a friend, when an appropriate moment presents itself, I try to ask her to think about the most Christ-like way to respond to those kinds of situations. “What would Jesus do.”
Look into what your parish (or any parish you might consider joining) has in the way of youth or family activities aside from CCD. Take your child to Stations of the Cross during Lent, many parishes do these on Friday nights, and there may be fellowship and a meatless dinner afterward. Try to make friends in your parish. Serve the parish however you can. IMO, showing your child that your church is important in your life, it is more to you than just attending Mass on Sunday, that makes a big impression.
 
To the best of my knowledge, there are few Protestant denominations that have a deposit of faith that is laid down as fully as ours is. Their tenets aren’t articulated in the detail that the Catholic Church teaches, and so it is hard to compare. It would be like comparing a child who has to learn American history to one who has to learn Chinese history. The Chinese kid has a lot more to know!

If you are a new convert, I’d suggest the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church as a good place to start, in terms of laying out the essential basic facts that you’ll want your children to know. I don’t mean to use it as a textbook for your child, but to use it as a guide for yourself concerning what the Church thinks are the most essential facts to pass on to your children as a foundation for their education as Catholics.

As for CCD programs, they are usually handicapped by what the parents will cooperate with. You can’t make students learn what their parents will not insist that they learn, and I don’t see how you get around that. It is like expecting kids to memorize their multiplication tables while the parents fight it: it won’t happen. The parishes do the best they can with the cooperation they get, which leaves a lot of work for parents to do in order to give the children a full education.
 
Don’t be afraid to talk the DRE and ask to sit on a class. If the program’s good, there should be no objections.

I wish more parents were willing to sit in on my classes.:rolleyes:
 
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