Help, mariage problems

  • Thread starter Thread starter lizzy021
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

lizzy021

Guest
Hello all,

I am in need of a lot of prayers, advice and encouragement. We’ve been married for a couple years and we have a young baby(11 months). When I met my husband he was such a wonderful, caring, compassionate man but all that has changed since our marriage. Now he is constantly putting me down, blaming me for all of our troubles, and he treats me like a child any time I try to argue my point or disagree with him. He twists my words around a lot even after I’ve just said them and tries to tell me I’ve heard him wrong or that I’m being oversensitive. For the most part things have been strictly verbal/emotional but he has pushed me a few times, thrown things at me, threatened to hit me and if I bring up how hurtful those things are he says I haven’t forgiven them and need to move on.

The past couple months in particular have been rough, I’m begging him to get counseling for his anger and said I would go marriage counseling if he would get counseling for himself, but he doesn’t see the point because I’m the one with issues. We were separated for a few weeks and I spoke with a priest who agreed he needs counseling and encouraged remaining separated for some time. My husband then got me to meet him in public to talk things over and it ended in me coming home, him making me promise to never leave like that again, and said he would call a lawyer for custody. So I’ve stayed. Now he has agreed to marriage counseling if I figure out the finances for it (he says we can’t afford) and we won’t do anything separate, and he refuses to see the priest I had spoken to previously. I am so lost and confused of what to do, I know marriage is not supposed to be about happiness but I am so unhappy and hurting, and feeling like everything is my fault.
 
You should pray for him. It seems he probably has some kind of mental illness so if you can, you should have him go to a psychiatrist. If not, perhaps separation would be best and judging from what you’ve said, I think you would get custody of your child if he tries to take him or her away. Your child should not have to watch his or her mother be abused and you should be free to live a happy life.
 
You might ask your Priest if the Church has any marital counseling available at no or low cost. They may have a resource either through the Church directly, or through a Parishioner who is a counselor that offers low cost/no cost counseling to fellow parishioners.

I will be praying for you, this is a very tough situation.
 
Michael the Archangel is a prayer that might hit home. Thinking of you and I will lift you both up in prayer.
 
You are never required to allow yourself to be abused. Also, what if he starts abusing your child…he most likely will if he’s already started on you. Separation is necessary here. If you won’t do it for you, do it for your child. If he tries to chase after you with further threats or abuse, get a restraining order on him.
 
lizzy021 said:
Hello all,

I am in need of a lot of prayers, advice and encouragement. We’ve been married for a couple years and we have a young baby(11 months). When I met my husband he was such a wonderful, caring, compassionate man but all that has changed since our marriage. Now he is constantly putting me down, blaming me for all of our troubles, and he treats me like a child any time I try to argue my point or disagree with him. He twists my words around a lot even after I’ve just said them and tries to tell me I’ve heard him wrong or that I’m being oversensitive. For the most part things have been strictly verbal/emotional but he has pushed me a few times, thrown things at me, threatened to hit me and if I bring up how hurtful those things are he says I haven’t forgiven them and need to move on.

The past couple months in particular have been rough, I’m begging him to get counseling for his anger and said I would go marriage counseling if he would get counseling for himself, but he doesn’t see the point because I’m the one with issues. We were separated for a few weeks and I spoke with a priest who agreed he needs counseling and encouraged remaining separated for some time. My husband then got me to meet him in public to talk things over and it ended in me coming home, him making me promise to never leave like that again, and said he would call a lawyer for custody. So I’ve stayed. Now he has agreed to marriage counseling if I figure out the finances for it (he says we can’t afford) and we won’t do anything separate, and he refuses to see the priest I had spoken to previously. I am so lost and confused of what to do, I know marriage is not supposed to be about happiness but I am so unhappy and hurting, and feeling like everything is my fault.
Click to expand...
He is trying to control and intimidate you in remaining in this abusive relationship. The priest was right, you should leave again and stay away until he actually goes to counseling and starts showing real change. You also should call a good family lawyer and look into your rights to protect yourself and your child in case things don’t work out. This is not your fault.
 
Thank you for everyone’s thoughts and prayers. I’m going to be trying to contact the priest again sometime this week or next and see what he has to say about separation and counseling. Since I brought up marriage counseling, husband has been extremely nice and helpful around the house and with our child. It’s nice but part of me thinks it’s just so I don’t do anything?🤷
 
lizzy021 said:
Thank you for everyone’s thoughts and prayers. I’m going to be trying to contact the priest again sometime this week or next and see what he has to say about separation and counseling. Since I brought up marriage counseling, husband has been extremely nice and helpful around the house and with our child. It’s nice but part of me thinks it’s just so I don’t do anything?🤷
Click to expand...
Good idea to talk to the priest again! 🙂 You should still separate now for your safety and health that of your child. You certainly don’t have to divorce, but definitely should get a safe separate place to dwell until your husband agrees to help for his aggressive/abusive behaviors. Most likely, he is just trying to avoid you getting a third party involved here and that is why he’s being so sweet and helpful.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top