Help me please! I don't want to get divorced

[Desperate_Dan]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I have been married for almost 7 years and have 2 beautiful daughters (ages 4 & 5). I still love my wife very much, but the problem is that she doesn’t love me anymore. She has filed for divorce almost 2 years ago and I’m fighting hard to delay, delay, delay as I feel time is on my side if things are not final and I’m still in the house. We would argue over tivial things when our first child was born and eventually my wife started to pull away from the marriage and things would just keep getting worse and worse as the years went on. We went to counselling to no avail and I have spent close to ten thousand dollars on every technique you can think of. We have always been faithful to each other and there never has been and physical abuse. I need to keep this marriage together not only for my children, but for us as well. Please, someone come up with a unique way to stop my divorce as I feel I have tried everything so far. I don’t have too much time left and I am having trouble coping day to day. Thanks so much!

Dan

 

[iluvmybabies]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I have been married for almost 7 years and have 2 beautiful daughters (ages 4 & 5). I still love my wife very much, but the problem is that she doesn’t love me anymore. She has filed for divorce almost 2 years ago and I’m fighting hard to delay, delay, delay as I feel time is on my side if things are not final and I’m still in the house. We would argue over tivial things when our first child was born and eventually my wife started to pull away from the marriage and things would just keep getting worse and worse as the years went on. We went to counselling to no avail and I have spent close to ten thousand dollars on every technique you can think of. We have always been faithful to each other and there never has been and physical abuse. I need to keep this marriage together not only for my children, but for us as well. Please, someone come up with a unique way to stop my divorce as I feel I have tried everything so far. I don’t have too much time left and I am having trouble coping day to day. Thanks so much!

Dan

Hi Dan, I am really sorry to hear you are going through this… I know that when I made up my mind to leave my exhusband it was because of his manipulations and mental and some physical abuse…more physical towards our children…BUT you seem like a great man and I am sorry things haven’t been working out so well with your wife. If she’s made up her mind but you are still in the house then maybe she is willing to still give things a try. Have you tried talking with her and seeing if she’s able to perhaps make an agreement about what she wants for you to do to make her happy and give you another try?

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I have been married for almost 7 years and have 2 beautiful daughters (ages 4 & 5). I still love my wife very much, but the problem is that she doesn’t love me anymore. She has filed for divorce almost 2 years ago and I’m fighting hard to delay, delay, delay as I feel time is on my side if things are not final and I’m still in the house. We would argue over tivial things when our first child was born and eventually my wife started to pull away from the marriage and things would just keep getting worse and worse as the years went on. We went to counselling to no avail and I have spent close to ten thousand dollars on every technique you can think of. We have always been faithful to each other and there never has been and physical abuse. I need to keep this marriage together not only for my children, but for us as well. Please, someone come up with a unique way to stop my divorce as I feel I have tried everything so far. I don’t have too much time left and I am having trouble coping day to day. Thanks so much!

Dan

I’m sorry Dan. Not sure of all the particulars…but, you could contest it, not sign for it? I am not sure of any other way to physically ‘stop’ it…

I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[xxxBlackDogxxx]

Dan,

I am so sorry to hear your story, which is terribly familiar to me. My divorce has recently been finalized, and my situation seems similar to yours. My advice to you is, pray that your marriage will be saved, do everything you can to keep a clean conscience, do everything you can for your kids, go to your parish for help, and understand that there ARE people out there who know *exactly *what you are going through. You are not alone! Focus on doing what you can, the best that you can, and let God deal with the rest. Cling to your faith, with your fingernails and teeth if necessary, but don’t give up!

If after all this, she divorces you, then–HEAR ME!–you will have done what you could, you will have fought the good fight for what is right, and God will recognize it. I can’t overstate this: keep your conscience clean, do the right thing, and give the rest to God.

Get through this day and let tomorrow worry about itself. If you can’t get through this day, get through this hour. Do the best you can and your children will love you for it. Don’t let this darkness be for nothing and pray for everyone else going through this scourge.

God bless you and your family.

 

[Seatuck]

Praying for you all , Dan. See if your wife will go on a Retrouvaille weekend if you haven’t done it already. There have been couples that have already been divorced have reconciled from that program.

www.retrouvaille.org

Other than that , have you tried fasting for your wife’s heart to be softened?

 

[Desperate_Dan]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your message. I will try and convince her once again to go for this weekend.

 

[Seeking12]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I have been married for almost 7 years and have 2 beautiful daughters (ages 4 & 5). I still love my wife very much, but the problem is that she doesn’t love me anymore. She has filed for divorce almost 2 years ago and I’m fighting hard to delay, delay, delay as I feel time is on my side if things are not final and I’m still in the house. We would argue over tivial things when our first child was born and eventually my wife started to pull away from the marriage and things would just keep getting worse and worse as the years went on. We went to counselling to no avail and I have spent close to ten thousand dollars on every technique you can think of. We have always been faithful to each other and there never has been and physical abuse. I need to keep this marriage together not only for my children, but for us as well. Please, someone come up with a unique way to stop my divorce as I feel I have tried everything so far. I don’t have too much time left and I am having trouble coping day to day. Thanks so much!

Dan

**
Dan,

Love is less than feelings and emotions, but a commitment. If she is not committed; you cannot make her committed. The advise BLACKDOG gave is very good; probably because of a similar experience. If you truly believe and trust God, then you will know that if the an unbeliever wants to leave, then you let them. Keeping a clean conscience and being faithful to God is the best you can do for yourself and your children. You will make it through this if you believe God. He promises not to give us more than we can handle; do you believe that?

I will say a prayer for you as I post. God bless and things will work as they are suppose to.

God Bless!**

 

[TLM08]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I have been married for almost 7 years and have 2 beautiful daughters (ages 4 & 5). I still love my wife very much, but the problem is that she doesn’t love me anymore. She has filed for divorce almost 2 years ago and I’m fighting hard to delay, delay, delay as I feel time is on my side if things are not final and I’m still in the house. We would argue over tivial things when our first child was born and eventually my wife started to pull away from the marriage and things would just keep getting worse and worse as the years went on. We went to counselling to no avail and I have spent close to ten thousand dollars on every technique you can think of. We have always been faithful to each other and there never has been and physical abuse. I need to keep this marriage together not only for my children, but for us as well. Please, someone come up with a unique way to stop my divorce as I feel I have tried everything so far. I don’t have too much time left and I am having trouble coping day to day. Thanks so much!

Dan

ADVICE FOR ANY MARRIAGE IN TROUBLE:

Read John Bradshaw’s “Creating Love”. He is a former Catholic priest and his work absolutely saved my marriage. Ten years ago, we on the verge of divorce. Today, we cannot imagine life without each other.

In the short term, tell your wife that you love her and the children with all of your heart. Tell her that you are a broken man who has let her down. Ask forgiveness and promise her today that you are going to “fix” your shortcommings and commit to becoming the very best husband you can be.

Don’t force the issue or rush her… Just let her know that you are going to fix yourself. Realize that she plays a part in this too. But by shouldering the 100% of the blame yourself, she has no chance to go on the defensive and will see no need to attack. On her own, she will look inwardly at herself and probably see that she needs work too. If she acknowledges any fault, simply say:
“I love you so much and I am so deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused you”

Like I said, if not for Bradshaw’s work, It’s about breaking destructive relationship patterns. I would have lost my family ten years ago.