Help me reflect during next fast as fallen away Catholic

[Scanner]

I am conducting an extended fast for myself here shortly and for an unspecified period of time (I have learned it’s a faux pas to say how long, when and too much details).

I would like at least part of the time to be spent in reflection on how I could possibly fit into the church as a fallen away Catholic. I have a question but I don’t know quite how to pose it so I’ll muttle through it.

Are there like “tiers” of being Catholic?

The reason I ask is I read a post here awhile back where a person started it ranting about people who visit here who are being slightly masochistic in that they disagree with certain aspects of the Church (women in priesthood, abortion, contraception) yet they call themselves Catholic.

I respected the viewpoint and reflected upon what he wrote. . .is that what I am doing to myself (and you nice people)? I thought that perhaps I could be guilty as charged. Maybe I am thinking I can somehow “reconcile” a relationship when none can perhaps be reconciled. . .

A little background - my son has asked me for me to take him to Church to learn about God. He has attended a non-denominational Church with friends within the past year (he’s 10 y.o.) but I am unsure as how to sheppard him through a Church in which I have no frame of reference. I think he attended 2 services and played in a church youth group basketball league (Upwards).

The Church he went to is almost more like a Community Center. . .big screen TV’s, daycare, and basketball, bookshop, and coffee shop in the lobby. This month they are running services centered around the movie “The Secret.” Very difficult for me. The minister is very nice and invited us to attend - you show up in jeans and talk about it. Like one big “rap” session.

I know he wants us to join the Church, he is always saying things like “I’m praying for your baby” and such (my wife is 8.5 months pregnant).

As you can imagine. . .this kind of church would be very foreign to me, although the proselytization isn’t.

So. . .half of me wants to take him to Catholic Church. . .yet, there are some matters of conscience to grapple with.

I guess in short. . .is it acceptable for me to be one of those parishioners that sit in Church politely, listen, and worship but not engage in the sacraments while I grapple with the matters of conscience? Can I let my son experience Catholicism without his father being fully participatory?

(his mother is an aethiest so I have “family peace” to worry about)

I know it’s not optimum by any stretch or. . . am I just being “sado-masochistic?”

Well. . .this is what I am reflecting on at my next fast.

Sorry if that was confusing. . .I’ll stop there and let you all take over.

 

[stbruno]

Along with your efforts at fasting…pray.
Pray for the wisdom to know what is best. Apparently, the Catholic church is nagging at your soul in some way.
St. Augustine once said, our hearts are restless until they rest in God.

Three things I suggest. If you have access to Catholic radio in your community…listen to it, not alone but with your son.
There are so many things discussed on there that may arouse an interest in both of you.

Second, come to church one Sunday or even a weekday and participate if you can. Sing the songs, respond to the prayers. Listen to the homily. And really pray…in your discernment.

Thirdly…pick up a book of the saints. They are even in the public library…and really read it with an open mind and heart.

And hopefuly, when you are ready…make an appointment with a priest, consider making a good confession. One thing is for sure, the roots of your faith are still within you. Reconciliation is only a step away. Like the father who runs out to greet the prodigal son…God will run out to greet you as well.
That’s the difference from the other faiths and the Catholic faith…Fr.Larry Richards said this not too long ago on his Catholic radio show.
Other faiths are looking for God…in the Catholic faith, God is looking for us. Good luck in your discernment. You will remain in my prayers. Apparently God is using your son in your evangelization.

 

[puzzleannie]

begin with confession and communion, and tell the priest what you plan and get his okay if it is a fast that is drastic or beyond the normal practices of the Church.

fast as well from whatever is temptation to you

exercise as well fast of the senses–avoid seeing, hearing, speaking anything that can be a gateway to sin or temptation

especially practice custody of the tongue. read the letter of James for guidance on this topic.

ask the priest for spiritual reading during this time, and if you can’t attend daily Mass, try to come to the sacraments weekly, and spend time each day in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

 

[puzzleannie]

I So. . .half of me wants to take him to Catholic Church. . .yet, there are some matters of conscience to grapple with.

I guess .

the matter of conscience is that if you have come to believe the Catholic Church is the true church you are obligated to raise your children that way. I am confused because I am not understanding why, if you are called to come back, you have not done so. as I said, simply go to confession and return to the sacraments, and how, when and where you do it is between you and the priest. You certainly have no need to justify yourself to anyone here. are their “tiers”? yes there are saints in heaven, the decease in purgatory who are preparing for heaven, and the rest of us who are still sinners.

 

[Deacon_Ed_B]

Are there like “tiers” of being Catholic?

Dear Scanner. The most direct answer to this question is NO. There are no tiers to being a Catholic. You either are one are you are not one. . I will give more explanation to this in the answer to the next section.

The reason I ask is I read a post here awhile back where a person started it ranting about people who visit here who are being slightly masochistic in that they disagree with certain aspects of the Church (women in priesthood, abortion, contraception) yet they call themselves Catholic.

Again, this is the most direct answer. To be truly Catholic, you must believe all that the Catholic church believes and teaches. Those who pick and chose what to believe, we call cafeteria Catholics. i.e., like going down the line in a cafeteria and saying, I want some of this, none of that, all of that, etc. The problem with this is that each person who does this sets themselves up as the sole arbiter as to what is true. It is in actuality protestant relativism. Those who do this are not truly Catholic, no matter what they say or claim. As Catholics, we believe we have the fullness of revealed truth and are under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We say this because truth in one, singular and immutable. If it was true 2000 years ago, it is true today and will be true 2000 years from now. Truth does not change. You can see the difference in each protestant church, with each having its own set of beliefs. If one does not like what their pastor is teaching, they start another church. Most protestant denominations hold that scripture means whatever the individual thinks it means. Not So. The Holy Spirit does not contradict himself. This is why protestants believe truth is relative and not absolute. There is only one Catholic Church. There are thousands upon thousands of denominations in protestantism. The only thing they have in common is that they are not Catholic. As Catholics we believe being under the guidance of the Holy Spirit that what the Church teaches on faith (dogma) and morals (right and wrong) that it does so without error, because of the Holy Spirit. I don’t know how far you progressed in your sacramental life as a Catholic before you stopped practicing, but I would strongly suggest you seek out a priest and discuss all this with him and the fact that you have this desire to reexamine your commitment to Catholicism. Possible you could even go to confession. He may ask you to go through the RCIA process, which is an unfolding of Catholicism for those seeking to become Catholic and for Catholics returning to the One True Faith. This would be a tremendous help.

I know he wants us to join the Church, he is always saying things like “I’m praying for your baby” and such (my wife is 8.5 months pregnant).

I will honestly say, I too want you to come home to the Catholic Church. You, your baby, and your entire family will be in my daily prayers that the Holy Spirit may guide you and bless each of you with the choicest of blessings.

.is it acceptable for me to be one of those parishioners that sit in Church politely, listen, and worship but not engage in the sacraments while I grapple with the matters of conscience? Can I let my son experience Catholicism without his father being fully participatory? .

A resounding Yes to each of these questions. But do follow through and talk to the priest. This will be most important in helping you progress in your journey of faith.
Prayers & Blessings
Deacon Ed B

 

[Scanner]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies.

 

[jmcrae]

In answer to what I think might be the real question behind all this:

Yes, you may come to Mass without receiving Holy Communion and without participating in the prayers. You will not be the only one present who is doing this, in most cases.

With regard to your child’s education in the faith, talk to a priest, answer all of his questions thoroughly and honestly, and decide after that what you want to do next.

 

[LilyM]

Scanner, extended fasting can be both spiritually dangerous (as it can lead to things like spiritual pride) and physically dangerous, so get your spiritual adviser’s OK as well as your doctor’s OK before beginning.

Here endeth the lesson

 

[handyman_jim]

You asked for some reflections during your fast, I have a few to offer to you.

_ The Bible which is used by many religions today would not be available if it were not for Holy Monks in the Catholic Church who carefully copied the Bible long before the printing press was invented. It is an authentic Catholic book.

_ Our Holy Father is a direct Spiritual decendent in a line of successors beginning with Saint Peter. “Upon this Rock I shall build my church.”

_ Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert. As you fast, remember that many places in the world today are a spiritual desert.

_“The family that prays together, stays together”, Father Patrick Peyton speaking about the family Rosary.

You are free to use these reflections or not to use them as you see fit. Also, I apologise for any misspelled words. God Bless You. Peace,

handymanjimnoonan.com

 

[Scanner]

Thank you once again for the warnings and thoughts.