Help me to NOT offend you (Catholics)...please?

[alison37]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

 

[pablope]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

First, let me say this…if a catholic is in a state of mortal sin, they cannot partake of the Eucharist until they go to confession. So there are others who cannot take communion.

Your marriage situation is part of the process of making right before the Lord. It is part of your journey to the CC…sometimes, we that are already Cathlics consider this part of our daily trials…so that we can become closer to God, it part of the cross we have to bear. So I would suggest talking to a priest, or a canon lawyer, and continue seeking guidance and prayers that your situation will be resolved.

As for you offending us, not one bit. We will actually welcome you, help you, love you…and actually pray for you that your situation will be resolved. Have you discovered the communion of saints? I would suggest look for guidance in the lives of the saints, find a favorite saint to ask for intercession. The Blessed Virgin Mary is one I would suggest, to continue your prayers and continously ask for her intercession.

And lastly, I think your aim should be to be able to receive the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus in the Eucharist.

 

[Tsuwano]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

I realize it is impossible for you to hop on a plane and come to Japan every weekend, but you are always welcomed at our liturgy here in Nagoya. Come as you are and allow God’s grace to fill in the empty spaces.

 

[Miriam1947]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

Yes of course you can come to Mass, pray, cross yourself and all the rest. You will not be able to receive communion but there are any number of people in the church who do not receive. They do everything else.

There is no membership ID card asked for at the door. All are welcome.

Hopefully in time you may be able to work out the marriage issue so that you can come all the way in but, meanwhile, Welcome Home.

 

[zz912]

Of course you are welcome. I hope you do keep coming. The more time spemt in Mass and Church will hopefully open you to begin annulment proceedings.

I would suggest researching it more. It may be that you dont fully understand annulment and this is causing your conscience trouble. Many people think it declares children of the annulled marriage as illegitimate, which it does not.

God bless and welcome!

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

Offend us? My dear, you are an inspiration to me. Your charity and humility are an example to all of us, Protestant and Catholic alike. Would that all Catholics would be as inspired to participate with the kind of outlook you have, that of above all seeking to worship God in spirit and in truth, and to love your neighbor as yourself. Welcome and God bless you!

 

[Loved_Disciple]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

I generally agree with what you’ve been told so far here. If I may add, though, worry more about not offending our Lord above anything else. We will not judge you lest we ourselves be judged.

Please do continue your journey home and may you have the gift of persevering to the end.

You’re in our prayers +

 

[fermat]

Welcome home!

Just for clarification, you not required to have your previous marriage annulled to be received into the Church and receive the Eucharist. You are correct that your first marriage does need to be annulled if you are to have your current marriage blessed; however, you can choose to live with your spouse as brother and sister (separate rooms, no marital relations). If you do this, go to confession for the past relations and you are free to receive the Eucharist once you are received into the Church.

The proposition to telling your husband that you won’t make love with him until you get all this straightened out is daunting and would encourage you to visit with your pastor about this matter specifically, but I wanted to let you know that the Eucharistic door was not closed completely. It would require great sacrifice, but you could do it.

 

[Labarum]

Welcome home!

You are most welcome! The trials you face many Catholics do also.

I shall pray that you are able to make things right with the Lord and your marriages so that you may participate fully in Christ’s Church.

May the Holy Spirit give you the graces needed to preserver in your journey.

 

[michaelmas]

First off, God isn’t waiting with a Hammer to pound you down but instead reaching for you with open arms. Welcome.

I don’t want to hijack your wonderful post but I hope someone in this thread can explain how a person not in the Catholic faith can be considered in sin if they were not aware that what they were doing was sinful?

I am confused by the post about confessing your sins about martial relations with your 2nd husband. Your current faith did not view it as a sin and thus I would guess it isn’t a sin in the Catholic church since it happened when you were not Catholic.

As for annulment… I don’t know about that but follow the church even though I find it silly and very “jewish” like by living by the law and not the spirit of the law. That is my opinion and the church doesn’t share it so follow the church.

 

[JRKH]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

Alison -
As other have said, come as you are and participate as you are able. Welcome home.

In so far as the annulment situation, have you looked into it at all?
The reason I ask is that I went through something quite similar, feeling very conscience bound for many years. Then, I discovered that God wanted me to apply - and it was granted.
It might be worth some time to talk in depth with someone who is knowledgeable on these matters (there are priests and deacons specially trained).

Also, if you’d like, you can PM me and we can share a bit on this privately. I’d love to help if I’m able and if you are comfortable.

Peace
James

 

[Fan_of_Francis]

Father,
Fill their hearts even further. Give them courage and strength to do Your will.
Through Christ our Lord
Amen

 

[fermat]

I am confused by the post about confessing your sins about martial relations with your 2nd husband. Your current faith did not view it as a sin and thus I would guess it isn’t a sin in the Catholic church since it happened when you were not Catholic.
.

Good point. If the OP ceased relations after she was aware that the Church did not consider her second marriage valid, then an argument could be made that she was not in a state of sin.

 

[zenith15]

First off, God isn’t waiting with a Hammer to pound you down but instead reaching for you with open arms. Welcome.

I don’t want to hijack your wonderful post but I hope someone in this thread can explain how a person not in the Catholic faith can be considered in sin if they were not aware that what they were doing was sinful?

I am confused by the post about confessing your sins about martial relations with your 2nd husband. Your current faith did not view it as a sin and thus I would guess it isn’t a sin in the Catholic church since it happened when you were not Catholic.

As for annulment… I don’t know about that but follow the church even though I find it silly and very “jewish” like by living by the law and not the spirit of the law. That is my opinion and the church doesn’t share it so follow the church.

I have sometimes wondered the same. Why, if our marriages were legal, with a legal divorce in between, and neither a violation of our previous faith, must they be annulled? The time it takes now is so long it seems forever–I have seen three of my RCIA classes graduate before me and the tribunal has only just now sent out the questionnaires to the witnesses.

 

[Paul_Infirdigno]

Welcome home, you will not be offending us, but please do try to go all the way to the truth,

God bless you

 

[RebeccaJ]

Alison37 coming to mass, praying, sitting with God…who would ever be offended by this? Everyone belongs at mass, everyone is in a different place on the journey, no one is going to judge you.

 

[CopticChristian]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

No. I sometimes wonder about those that come to the Church believing that they are not welcome. Whatever halts the completion of your journey today may not tommorrow. I suggest you consider praying a rosary with a group. I am not one for a rosary on my own however the power of a group rosary is phenomenal. I cannot explain it.

If there is Baptism of desire and there is then your participation and desire should bless you beyond imagination. We judge no one, because to be honest how would I know anything unless I asked or you told me. It is not custom to engage someone and ask them why they are there. You are there. When it comes time to hold hands and pray your hand is welcome. When it comes time to offer a sign of peace you would get one. I doubt that anyone would cause you any conflict and if they did tell the priest.

 

[Jack_Bauer]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

Your practicing the devotions of Catholics are not offensive in any way. If they are to someone that shows their lack of understanding of the devotions, which should lead one to Christ. Any devotion that does not lead one to Christ is not a good develotion or is not being used properly.

The Eucharist is the actual Body and Blood of Christ. No one is allowed to receive in the state of mortal sin or that is not in communion with the Church of Christ, e.g., Catholic Church. To do so would be sacrilegious. You see, the Church must protect the Eucharist from non-believers. If someone who considers themselves Catholic, and does not believe in the Eucharist, they too are not allowed to receive the Eucharist. Their disbelieve is a sacrilege and therefore they are obligated to abstain so that they do not bring condemnation upon themselves. The Church is in kind protecting those non-believers from self-condemnation from desecrating the Body and Blood of Christ - the Eucharist. There are many that can not receive in the Church for many reasons, remarried without proper form, annulment, living in sin, etc. However, they may choose to raise their family Catholic so that they can receive the graces from the sacramental life. I know people that have gone through RCIA for years before taking the plunge. Whatever the reason for hesitating, welcome home and I hope you find your way, eventually, permanently in the fullness of the faith.

Read about**** Father Donald Calloway**** or watch him tell his story on the Journey Home.youtube.com/watch?v=jt9R2agiDAA to discover that he too practiced Catholicism before actually being Catholic.

 

[BILL_PICK53]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

Just keep going to a Cathloic Church and let God tell You what to do,and good lucy to You.

 

[jwinch2]

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. I am a lifelong evangelical Christian and at the age of 51 I find myself being drawn to the Catholic Church. To be honest, I feel like I am finally home. I cannot understand exactly what is going on with me but I cannot deny the reality of it. I started praying the Divine Office about two years ago (just by myself), attending Mass about a month ago, praying the Rosary, and trying to learn as much as I can about the faith, especially in the areas that would differ from my Protestant tradition. I met with the RCIA director last week and, in the process of discussing various things, I realized that in order to convert to Catholicism, I would have to seek and annulment for my first marriage, get my husband to seek one for his first marriage, and have our marriage “blessed” or recognized by the Catholic Church. For reasons that I won’t get into here, my conscience will not allow me to start that process. I feel like my journey toward conversion has been halted. So…that leads (finally) to my questions.

I know that I will not be able to partake of the Eucharist or Reconciliation. I humbly respect and accept that these doors are closed to me. But, can I still come to Mass ( pray, cross myself, kneel, listen), pray the Rosary, adore the Blessed Sacrament, hang out with Jesus in the sanctuary, etc. even though I cannot see a way to convert to Catholicism at this time. I want to be sensitive to the Catholics in the church. I don’t want to offend them in any way. I want to show respect for the things that they hold dear (I understand and consider them precious too). So…what do you all think? What would you think of me if I was in your parish? Am I going to offend you with my participation? Would you judge me to be a fraud?

Thank you to anyone who can offer me some help and perspective.

If you were both married to a non-Catholic, I do not necessarily believe you would need an annulment and convalidation. My wife and I had to go through a convalidation process, and it was actually quite wonderful. I would take some time to make an appointment with a priest. Depending on the status of your first marriage, it might have been null through a lack of canonical form, which is relatively simple in comparison to some other things.

Long story short, I would not give up yet. Talk to a priest who has experience in these things and find out what your options are first.

God Bless,