Help me to sort out this mess I am in . My health and relationship and life in general is in chaos

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Mine was emotional, let me tell you, one of my daughters I think, is scarred for life from it. I’m praying HARD for you!!!
Love,
Clare
 
Well, just know that LOTS of people are praying for you, your daughter, and your safety and well-being.
 
I am praying for you.

Please follow the advice Pianistclare has given here.

A few of us have been where you are. I would be changing locks and locking him out of your home too. It’s a long hard road. But cling to Jesus, live as a single Catholic woman should, and let all that be your guide.

It’s great you follow your faith. Pray to Our Lady for strength.

Please be aware that our faith teaches no sex outside of marriage. That right there is one of the biggest reasons you can have for doing what needs to be done.
 
Abuse is abuse whether physical, emotional, verbal or mental. Emotional, verbal & mental abuse is but one step away from becoming physical. Praying for you & your child’s safety & well-being.
 
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Thank you !
This has been a major concern of mine . I’m so sad that I have offended God and that this situation was wrong . I want to make things right . This has happened for a reason . In my thoughts it would never be right as I love my faith .
 
Amen, 🕊️🙏:angel:t3: Very well said.

It’s simple faithfullyyours

Take full advantage of the Sacrament of Reconcilliation. You will get so much strength from it. Just keep going on a regular basis .

It helps so much with resolve. We women who have been there, need strength and courage and resolve.
 
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I agree with Roseeurekacross! Go to the Sacraments, especially Confession and make time for a ‘healing’ mass or service with the church, or ask your pastor for the sacrament of extreme unction, you have health issues and you don’t have to be seriously ill such as on your deathbed to it.

Have a mass said for this man, it’s not very expensive usually at your local parish. When he comes to mind, or the feeling of shame you might feel when he comes to mind, say a short prayer for his soul.
You can even make a novena for him. But, don’t be tempted to think you need to figure out how to fix this.

Place this ‘man’ in God’s hands. Leave him there.
 
Thank you I have never had anyone tell me what I was doing was a sin and I do want to make things right with God . Do you think I can be forgiven . May I ask for extra prayers for good health as I am struggling with that at the min . Physical problems like my legs not working very well and fatigue due to the various autoimmune problems . I suppose I feel more vulnerable when I’m not physically at my best even though I have always done everything on my own . I really want to break out of this prison I have built around me and stop being afraid of everything . So prayers for getting out and about again and to be able to look to a peaceful and happy future . Please pray for me to get stronger mentally and physically and not feel so alone . But the major problem is the agoraphobia maybe I should post but I do not want to over do asking for help .
 
Thank you . You are not the first to tell me to pray for him . Why do I have to do this ? I used to pray that he would change but I don’t want that anymore it is too late for reconciliation x
 
Faithfullyyours said:
Thank you . You are not the first to tell me to pray for him . Why do I have to do this ? I used to pray that he would change but I don’t want that anymore it is too late for reconciliation x
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He will always be the father of your child. His changing to be a responsible man may not change your relationship but could change her life.
 
It’s not for him to change to be good to you or reconcile with you. That may happen, but really it’s the "Pray for your enemies, be good to those who hurt you’ sort of thing. Jesus taught us that. He was giving us a great instruction.
Praying for and having a mass said for someone who has wounded you or harmed someone you love dearly, such as your child or friend, is the ultimate charity. I have seen in my own life the healing power of God’s answer to prayers like this.

I am telling you the truth, by praying for someone like the man you have lived with you will witness healing. Starting with yourself.

Be grateful to God that although you are going through such difficult times, that you are now free to live in a healthier way.

Also in your response to Roseeurekacross, today hardly anyone will correct a person ‘living’ with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Or any other bad behaviors and lifestyles. That is one of the tragedies of today. Many people will live in deep sin and darkness without that charity. It is with great Love when someone cares enough to tell someone the Truth. Eventually those who don’t deal with their situation and look to Reconcile with God will find themselves in the afterlife cursing all those who could have and should have told them the Truth and didn’t.

God Bless you, You and your child will be in my prayers, along with this man.
 
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Faithfullyyours said:
Thank you I have never had anyone tell me what I was doing was a sin and I do want to make things right with God . Do you think I can be forgiven . I really want to break out of this prison I have built around me and stop being afraid of everything . So prayers for getting out and about again and to be able to look to a peaceful and happy future . Please pray for me to get stronger mentally and physically and not feel so alone . But the major problem is the agoraphobia maybe I should post but I do not want to over do asking for help .
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Until we know, we don’t know. Of course God forgives us, we only need to go to Reconcilliation and ask. And we can go as much as we need. God understands we are imperfect sinners.

But this knowledge now, that God calls us to chastity outside of marriage is one of your strongest allies.

Here is your truth about your situation.
  1. This guy is divorced, so he is not free to marry until he seeks and is granted, an annulment.
  2. So it follows you and he are not married in the eyes of God and the Church.
So it follows you and he are called to chastity for this stage in life.

Have you ever been married?

Now here is how this knowledge becomes one of your strongest allies in gaining your life back. When he comes calling for a ‘romantic night’ and a bed for the night , Just say NO. God forbids it. I am single. I can offer you nothing, no sex, no bed, nothing.

This guy sleeping over and wanting romance will put you in a near occasion of sin. Just say NO, because God forbids it.

God and the Church teach that you are to say NO . Because you are a single woman. And the simple reason to tell this guy NO is the honest reason.

NO , I am sorry, I cannot offer you a romantic night or a bed because God calls all singles to Chastity. And breaking that Chastity is putting my mortal soul in grave jeapordy, and will offend God.

Change your locks. Can you do that asap?

So ‘romantic nights and a male sleeping over’ completely out of the question, because we must put God first,

You will find, in time, not too much time, you can start to breathe again. When you stand up for your mortal soul, and God’s law.

And yes, everyone will think you have become a religious nut, but that’s fine. And your example is what we are called to do. Bear witness to the truth.

I will pray for you tonight on the 100th anniversary of Our Lady of Fatima. Please pray to our Lady for strength to say NO and change those locks!

Go to Reconcilliation, talk to the Priest, get strength and grace.

My Priest gave me great advice about guys from my pre coming back to God life. You know the ones thinking we are single and available sexually, Those who don’t live for God.
He said be nice in your response, don’t engage in any dialogue about how old fashioned etc the Catholic Church is. And say to them, I will pray for you.

You can always ask your Priest for advice in rejecting men who don’t respect Chastity.

A good man will respect this.
 
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Consider you are on the right track if people do,start telling you you’re a ‘religious nut’ once you start living in Christian kindness. Often they start seeing the change in you and the contrast to themselves makes them uncomfortable sometimes. Keep on the Good path and you will probably see at some point these same people come to you to find out why you have peace and joy in your life.
 
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