Help me to understand - was this a message from God?

[Andi2007]

I posted this the other day and it was suggested I discuss this in the Spirituality Forum

Tuesday I went to my grandmother’s grave. She died almost a year ago and I go there to pray and cry. I try to draw from her strength and pray for my husband. He has lost faith and wants a divorce. He is suffering from a great deal of emotional pain and depression - he is in the midst of a full blown mid-life crisis. I keep praying for my marriage and feeling like God has forgotten me, or my marriage is doomed.
When I got out of the car I found a tattered index card that a young girl had drawn on and it had the quote “The problem is not your problem, it is your attitude about the problem”. I felt a sense of calm come over me. The young lady’s name was on the back and her teacher’s name. I sent a note to the teacher to let him know that her note crossed my path and to thank her, for her quote made a difference in my day. I prayed for her that night and believed at the time that God meant for me to find that note. I am still trying to process the meaning and the path I should take. Now I am questioning my sanity - was it a sign or just coincidence - Help me to understand -
Lord, I am grateful for all I have, but I need your guidance - I am lost!

My husband has been going through a great deal the past few years. He announced he wants to divorce and move out. Last year at this time he had started an affair with a “friend”. I took responsibility for my failures in the marriage and began working on myself. I prayed to God and my husband began to turn back to the marriage. I believed I was given a miracle in March and my husband and I recommitted to one another. We were reconnecting, except he still had contact with his ex, in that they worked together. We have had a tough financial year and in July we hit a huge road bump. The “ex” used this opportunity to work on his insecurities. She has convinced him he needs to move out and be happy as an individual…we have been together 28 years. He is under immense stress as his brother and father both have terminal illnesses. We have 2 teenagers and I am devastated.

Some people have said that I cannot change my husband and he needs to figure things out. I love him deeply and did not enter into this marriage on a whim. We dated for 6 years and I took my vows very seriously.

So I have been praying. I don’t know what steps to take. I felt like this was a sign from God. I believed God wanted me to save my marriage in the past, but I am not sure. I am not sure what this “sign” truly means. Do I let my husband go and hope he snaps out of it…do I continue to pray that the ex will find it in her heart to do the right thing?

So now the “sign” “The problem is not your problem, it is your attitude about the problem” while it gave me a sense of calm, I am not left wondering what it really means. Help me to understand. I have often believed in signs, but lately this the only one I have really noticed. I need direction.

 

[Mummsie]

So sorry to hear you are going through this.

My take on the message actually matches my thoughts. You cannot fix the problem. It is your husband’s to deal with. Turn your husband over to God. Trust God. Ask him to lead you. God definitely has a plan for you. Pray that you can follow God’s will (change your attitude).

God Bless you.

 

[Andi2007]

I believe it is my husband’s problem to figure out and I keep praying to God that my husband will find it in him to have faith. I pray for my husband’s pain to end and for him to see all he has to be grateful for. I keep hoping he will snap out of it before it is too late. He has 2 wonderful loving children and they have been his “oxygen” and he and I were best friends up until a few years ago when we let everyday life get in our way. That said, I have woke up and began to refocus my life - praying and being grateful. Not taking my husband or family for granted and trying to see the beauty in life again. I fear I woke up too late.

By the way, “mummsie” brought a smile to my face. I was always running about and trying to get things done quickly when my kids were little. Quite often I would drop something or trip. My daughter (now 15) at the age of 2 decided I should be called “clumsy mummsie”. I hadn’t thought of that in a very long time and reminded me to be grateful for my time with her this evening decorating for Christmas.

Thank you for your insight - I had the same thoughts initially, and after several days I began to question my interpretations. (I keep looking for answers).

 

[v21337304]

The attitude to your problem should be one of complete trust in God. Even if you arrive at a point where everything is dark and bad, your trust in God should never waver. Read St John of the Cross. You might find some parts difficult, but persever. And don’t stop praying, not for yourself, but rather that God will give proper insight to his ex. If you do not forgive and forget you might lose. It’s the reason we pray the Our Father.

 

[Holy_Warrior]

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit:
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen.

 

[mamlukman]

The note: coincidence, chance. It’s what you do with this chance event that matters. Chance events happen constantly, you just don’t take notice. Have you ever looked up a word you don’t know, and then the next day you hear it on TV or the radio? Out of the millions of things that bombard your senses every day, you only notice a few.

The idea that attitude is the final act of will is from Victor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” It’s a short book, and you might want to read it. As a Jew, he was put into a concentration camp in WW II, and everything was taken from him–family, profession (psychiatrist), possessions. But he realized there was one thing they couldn’t take from him–the attitude he was still free to take to all that had happened. He’s often called the father of the 4th school of psychiatry (Freud, Adler, Jung…)

You can’t control what your husband does, or what anyone else does. You can only control what you do. You have a vast array of options; consider them carefully, then act. It would be helpful if someone else (therapist?) who is objective could help you work through the consequences of each option.

 

[1jerry]

if you have ever watched the 700 club-- people there function in the 9 gifts of the spirit - with words of knowledge words of wisdon, and words for healing-

in times of confusion it is helpful to know some people who fuction prophetically - and who hear from God - with words of — edification excalation and confort,

this is why in the Book of hebrews it says do not forsake the fellowship of the brothern-

as an adult catholicchurch goer-- you should have developed - spiritual relationships,

 

[pwlj_christ87]

honestly go with your spirit go with the holy spirit and do what you feel God tells you too, dont make rash human choices, honestly by opinion is that if he wants to continue to forsake you and his covenantal vow to marriage a blessed sacrament, then he is unworthy not only of this life but eternal. I would cut him out, sometimes you cant change people or think they are going to get better, youll only take yourself down, everyone makes their own choices, his are pretty aparanent already, contrast his acts with his mistress and your devotion to your grandmothers tomb, remember, very soon you will be with her, dont waste time on him