Help me with my speech

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Feanaro_s_Wife

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**My younger (and only) sister is getting married this October. I would like to give a short speech about marriage and was hoping you all could add to my thoughts.

I need to keep it secular because neither her or her fiance are religious at all:( but I’m hoping that through prayer and example I can have a hand in changing that;)

So any words of wisdom? Advice to newlyweds? Funny stories or oneliners that I could work in?

My main theme (I think) is commitment and “why” get married. I believe that’s very relevant to a couple who are not religious in today’s society.

I look forward to reading your thoughts!**
 
Let’s see… nothing mentioning religion… hmmm… we can introduce religion without even mentioning it… let’s see if I can wing it…
  • Marriage is self sacrifice. It’s no longer about “me”.
  • The couple needs to be honest. It’s not so much about feelings.
  • Husband needs to take care of the wife and the wife needs to support the husband in taking care of her.
  • When you fight, make sure you don’t go to bed fighting. Resolve it (as much as possible, don’t involve anyone else)
  • You do what is best for your spouse.
    eh, that’s all I could think of at the moment… it’s late afternoon and my brain just slows down at this time… 😛
Notice that they are religious concepts but I never mentioned the Bible or God. Well, I hope they help somehow.

On the other hand, it is quite sad that they do not associate marriage with religion… because, I’ve always viewed marriage as a mirror of God. My “why” to getting married is because God is the ultimate end and our marriage isn’t about me and my wife but about God. (you don’t have to tell them this of course) 🤷
 
I’d like to add:
  • Always treat each other with respect and courtesy. Say please and thank you, and be as helpful to each other in little things as in the big ones.
  • Make your spouse your best friend.
  • Don’t fight over money–make a good budget and set obtainable goals.
  • Remember that your decisions and actions will directly affect your spouse, so share all big decisions and do nothing important without being in agreement.
 
Oh oh! I remembered something else…
  • The husband needs to learn to do chores. Sometimes, this is more valuable than jewelry.
 
My DBIL (best man to my DH) told a funny childhood story involving underwear, and then made everyone die of laughter when he ended the story with, “…and this was just last week!” 😃

I was maid of honor for my best friend from high school, and I can’t remember a word of what I said. I had read that it wasn’t supposed to be a prepared speech, so I just spoke from the heart. Several people complimented me afterwards.

I had planned to do the same for my little sister’s wedding in May, but now you’ve got me thinking… 👍
 
Truly_Beloved said:
I had read that it wasn’t supposed to be a prepared speech, so I just spoke from the heart. Several people complimented me afterwards.

I had planned to do the same for my little sister’s wedding in May, but now you’ve got me thinking… 👍
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**LOL, I want it to come off as “wow, I just thought of this off the cuff” while secretly it was prepared and well planned;)

malia
**
 
CatholicSamurai said:
Let’s see… nothing mentioning religion… hmmm… we can introduce religion without even mentioning it… let’s see if I can wing it… 🤷
Click to expand...
That was my thought. I definitely want the concepts there but don’t want to appear to be shoving God down their throats (which unfortunately some members of my family are sensitive to). I want a “hey, that was great, where did you learn that?” so I can THEN answer with “from God of course”😉
 
Della said:
I’d like to add:
  • Always treat each other with respect and courtesy. Say please and thank you, and be as helpful to each other in little things as in the big ones.
  • Make your spouse your best friend.
  • Don’t fight over money–make a good budget and set obtainable goals.
  • Remember that your decisions and actions will directly affect your spouse, so share all big decisions and do nothing important without being in agreement.
Click to expand...
Thanks:)
 
Hmm, I can sympathize…I just gave a speech at a wedding last week…

Where will you be giving this speech? At the reception? If you’re giving the speech at the reception, remember that EVERYONE will be listening, so you should make your speech into something for everyone to hear, and not just mere advice that’s exclusively for the bride and groom.

Good luck…
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**My younger (and only) sister is getting married this October. I would like to give a short speech about marriage and was hoping you all could add to my thoughts.

I need to keep it secular because neither her or her fiance are religious at all:( but I’m hoping that through prayer and example I can have a hand in changing that;)

So any words of wisdom? Advice to newlyweds? Funny stories or oneliners that I could work in?

My main theme (I think) is commitment and “why” get married. I believe that’s very relevant to a couple who are not religious in today’s society.

I look forward to reading your thoughts!**
Click to expand...
 
ack said:
Hmm, I can sympathize…I just gave a speech at a wedding last week…

Where will you be giving this speech? At the reception? If you’re giving the speech at the reception, remember that EVERYONE will be listening, so you should make your speech into something for everyone to hear, and not just mere advice that’s exclusively for the bride and groom.

Good luck…
Click to expand...
**
Their ceremony and reception are back to back at the same venue. I have no idea when (and even IF) I will be giving the speech/toast…but it is something I believe I am being called to do. Personally I hate being in the spotlight and am terrible at speaking in front of even a couple of people lol so this MUST be a calling…

I do want to make it for everyone…young, old, married, single…and especially those in attendance who would actually ask “why bother” when asked about marriage.

Malia**
 
I would just try to keep in mind that most people expect the MOH speech to be reminiscing about the happy couple’s courtship/dating and why it’s so fantastic that they’ve gotten married. I would be careful not to turn it into a homily, as that might really turn off some people and do more harm then good.

You might use words like ‘blessing’ or ‘covenant’ or "God’s hand in their relationship,’ but otherwise I’d keep it to telling a story or two about your younger sister’s hopes for marriage as a kiddo (if you can remember something–like, did she write letters to ‘her future husband’ as a small kiddo? that kind of thing) and then how endearing you found their relationship as you watched it blossom. How you knew God had given your sister the ultimate blessing by sending her the gift of this man. That sort of thing. And how pleased you are to have seen them enter into marriage, etc.

My two cents. 🙂
 
This is true. Remember that this is the bride and groom’s special day. So, your first priority should be making a speech that puts the bride and groom’s marriage in a positive light. (More specifically, in your case, people will expect to hear something that will make them feel good about the bride.)
Princess_Abby said:
I would just try to keep in mind that most people expect the MOH speech to be reminiscing about the happy couple’s courtship/dating and why it’s so fantastic that they’ve gotten married. I would be careful not to turn it into a homily, as that might really turn off some people and do more harm then good.

You might use words like ‘blessing’ or ‘covenant’ or "God’s hand in their relationship,’ but otherwise I’d keep it to telling a story or two about your younger sister’s hopes for marriage as a kiddo (if you can remember something–like, did she write letters to ‘her future husband’ as a small kiddo? that kind of thing) and then how endearing you found their relationship as you watched it blossom. How you knew God had given your sister the ultimate blessing by sending her the gift of this man. That sort of thing. And how pleased you are to have seen them enter into marriage, etc.

My two cents. 🙂
Click to expand...
 
**Good points Princess Abby and Ack… thanks!

The last thing I want to do is come off preachy. But my sister is not the “fluffy” type so I figured something a bit more serious and moving would be nice. I’ll try to find the right balance…

As for stories of her as a kid, well, I still think of her that way. And personally, I don’t believe she’s ready for marriage so it’s kind of hard to do the whole “this is a perfect match and wonderful day” kind of thing…

I’m still putting a lot of thought into this and appreciate the help!

malia**
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**
As for stories of her as a kid, well, I still think of her that way. And personally, I don’t believe she’s ready for marriage so it’s kind of hard to do the whole “this is a perfect match and wonderful day” kind of thing…**
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We have the same little sister. 😉
 
This is a true story. I’ll share it with you. The couple were relatives…

Stand up there and say:

"Welcome to the family, Joe or whatever his name is, it gives us all joy to see my sister so happy.

There was a couple who celebrated their 50th anniversary. At the party, someone got up and made a toast comparing them to a pair of scissors. The husband and wife were like the two scissor blades that were always joined. And the blades sometimes moved closer together, and sometimes they moved further apart. But woe to anyone or anything that ever got between them.

May this describe you at your 50th wedding anniversary! God love and bless you both!"

Then sit down. Sometimes the shorter the speech, the better.
 
Hopefully, this attitude won’t subconsciously show through during your speech, or in your encounters with her as her wedding day approaches.
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**And personally, I don’t believe she’s ready for marriage so it’s kind of hard to do the whole “this is a perfect match and wonderful day” kind of thing…
**
Click to expand...
 
ack said:
Hopefully, this attitude won’t subconsciously show through during your speech, or in your encounters with her as her wedding day approaches.
Click to expand...
**
I’m taking great pains to make sure it doesn’t:thumbsup:
I would never want to hurt her.

Malia
**
 
I recently read a book called “Project Everlasting”. The story is two bachelors interviewing couples who had been married for 40 years or more and asked them their secret to staying together. A pretty insightful book for singles like me but a few bits of advice they got that could help your speech…

In marriage, Love is a four letter word spelled G-I-V-E.
Most couples shared something mutual they both liked, such as a song or the couple liked to dance…if you know anything mutual they both like you could incorporate it.
And the couple’s said the #1 secret to a happy marriage…mutual respect.
 
If you are not good at giving speechs have you thought about playing a song that says it all. A very romantic/love song. There is one by Babyface and Mariah Carey called Everytime I close my eyes. It is a very old song but has meaning. The CD is called “The Day (1996)”

Girl, it’s a been a long, long time coming(yes it has)
But I, I know that it’s been worth the wait (yeah)
yeah, It feels like spring time in winter
It feels like Christmas in June
And it feels like heaven,
Has opened up it’s gates for me and you, yeah

Everytime I close my eyes
I thank the lord that, I’ve got you (that i’ve got you)
And you got me too (you’ve got me too)
And everytime I think of it
I pinch myself cuz, I don’t believe it’s true (yeah)
That someone like you, loves me too (yeah)

Ayy, yeah yeah yeah babe

Girl, i think that your truly something (yes you are) yeah
And your, your every dream come true (yes you are) yeah
When you babe, It never rains and it’s no wonder
Sun always shine when I’m near you
It’s a just a blessing
That I found somebody like you, ohhh

And everytime I close my eyes
I thank the lord that, I’ve got you (that i’ve got you)
And you got me too (you’ve got me too)
And everytime I think of it
I pinch myself cuz I don’t believe it’s true (dont believe it)
that someone like you loves me toooooooo…

To think of all the nights i’ve cried myself to sleep
(yeah) You really ought to know how much you mean to me
(its only right) its only right (in my life)
That you be in my life right here with me
oh baby baby yeah…

(instrumental)

o0ooooo…i swear you girl that

Everytime I close my eyes
I thank the lord that, I’ve got you babe
And you got me too babe
And everytime I think of it
I, pinch myself cuz, I don’t believe it’s true (yeah yeah yeah)
That someone like youuuuu, loves me tooooooo (yeah)
(Ay… yeah… whoo) Loves me tooooooooo
 
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