Help me with telling my parents about conversion

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Brockman138

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I am 16 in southern KY and after months of research have determined that the Catholic Church is the true religion. The problem is that my family and friends are VERY Anti-Catholic and I am not brave enough to tell them I want to convert. When I turn 18 I will definitely convert but I cant wait any longer. Can anyone offer any advice or have any experience with things like this. If you dont would you just pray for me.
 
I am from a Jewish family and became a Christian when I was sixteen. My parents were far less upset than I expected them to be. I found out later that this was because they did not take my conversion seriously. They just thought it was a phase I would grow out of. By the time they realized it was not a phase, they were sort of used to the idea.

I’m in my fifties now and I still haven’t grown out of it. 🙂
 
I was a lot older than you when I converted and it was still a difficult thing to tell my family. I come from the area of southwest Virginia, there near the border to KY, TN, and WV. Dickenson county. My parents were very understanding. Some of my cousins, aunts and uncles however do not speak to me anymore.

My only advice is this: when you are so sure that you are following God in this choice in your life that you are ready to convert, even if it costs you friendships and relationships, then it’s time to tell them. If your family truly loves you they will support you in your decision. My mother doesn’t understand, but she’s there for me. Even though she was concerned for me becoming Catholic, the other day she bought a rosary for my 4 year old and is making it by hand for her. She loves me enough to support me even if she doesn’t understand.

Pray about it. Find a way to tell them, and emphasize that it is God leading you to do this. Make sure that you don’t make it seem like you are leaving them, but that you are simply following God in your heart. Sometimes they feel rejected, as if you are not only rejecting your religion, but your family also. It’s important to make sure that they feel your love for them in your life, so they know you are simply acting out of love for God AND them.
 
I’m confused, I’m sorry. Are you asking for advice now about something that’s not going to happen for over a year? Or is this something you are thinking of bringing up soon?
 
A lot of people talk about this on these forums, so don’t feel like you’re alone. This is unfortunately an increasingly common situation for people to be in. The bottom line in most of these situations is that if you’re still living with your family, then the best idea is just to ride out the next couple of years until you get to college.

By the time you’re 18 or 19 you’ll be independent and in charge of your own life. That means you’ll be in charge of your spiritual life as well.

Personally, my parents were actually both lapsed Catholics. So, the first time I attended Mass in years was when I got to college a few years ago. Since then I’ve been very active in the Church on campus, and I just got Confirmed this Easter!

So, just ride it out. I wouldn’t advise trying to convert your parents right now or anything. Just pray for them. And over time as they see your faith develop they’ll probably be more accepting of it.
 
Brockman138 said:
I am 16 in southern KY and after months of research have determined that the Catholic Church is the true religion. The problem is that my family and friends are VERY Anti-Catholic and I am not brave enough to tell them I want to convert. When I turn 18 I will definitely convert but I cant wait any longer. Can anyone offer any advice or have any experience with things like this. If you dont would you just pray for me.
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Most of my family (my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, old coworkers and family friends) are anti catholic, not in the sense of “the church is unbiblical and the whore of Babylon”, but more of the liberal “why doesn’t the church allow this? Why doesn’t the church allow that? I have a problem with all the rules…blah blah blah”. When I decided that I wanted to become Catholic, the only support I had was from my Catholic gf. I told them with the knowledge that a) what God wants me to do is far more important than the mere criticism I will get from family b) God will help me through this, and c) I have more logical reasons as to why I SHOULD become Catholic than they do for me NOT to become Catholic.

I was just baptized, and have been telling them since March of 2011 that I want to become Catholic. They say “I’m proud of you and respect your decision”, but usually after they cracked a couple of jokes at my or the church’s expense. I take it, just smile and let them do their thing and just remember Christ when he said “forgive them father, for they know not what they do.”. I remember that if they knew the scriptures and knew the church for what it is, they’d be catholic too. So whenever they ask about something about the church, I calmly explain it with charity and pray to God that something to set in their heart so that they might one day come home. That’s all you and I can do: play out part and pray to God.
 
You have my sympathy! I’ve not experienced much prejudice myself, but I can imagine how difficult it must be for those who have to go through it.

I am not sure of what age you must be to convert in opposition to the wishes of legal guardians. I would recommend getting in touch with your nearest parish priest as soon as possible to discuss your situation. (Be sure to mention your age when you call to make the appointment.)

Even if you’re told you cannot convert *officially *until 18, then you will still be welcome in parish groups and at Mass. If the local Catholic Church has a youth group, then its members and leaders could be a valuable source of support and friendship for you. Be sure to ask how you might get involved in parish life in the meantime.

I would also recommend reading as much as you can about the faith. Prepare yourself to answer the typical anti-Catholic presumptions about the Church. It will strengthen your own faith and also help you to counter any objections from your friends and relatives.

Personally, I would not blame you at all if you refrained from mentioning that you hope to convert to your family *just *yet; particularly as it could be some time before you can actually do so. However, if you do decide to tell them, do so gently, in humility, and after much prayer. Make Christ your refuge in all of this.

I will be praying for you!
 
ik exactly were your coming from, most of my friends are anti-Catholic and my parents are too. when i “converted” it took alot of nerve to tell them but i did and my mom still thinks ill grow out of it but ik i wont for its the Truth, the way i got nerve was i told myself that i cant put my fears of men before God
 
CountrySteve said:
ik exactly were your coming from, most of my friends are anti-Catholic and my parents are too. when i “converted” it took alot of nerve to tell them but i did and my mom still thinks ill grow out of it but ik i wont for its the Truth, the way i got nerve was i told myself that i cant put my fears of men before God
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Did you tell us about this on another thread? I’ve been following your posts here and really hoping your parents would be understanding. This sounds like good news overall!
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Did you tell us about this on another thread? I’ve been following your posts here and really hoping your parents would be understanding. This sounds like good news overall!
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Yea, I think. I’m still not allowed to go to Church though :confused: but o well 18 in 1 month woohoo 👍 God bless
 
Brockman138 said:
I am 16 in southern KY and after months of research have determined that the Catholic Church is the true religion. The problem is that my family and friends are VERY Anti-Catholic and I am not brave enough to tell them I want to convert. When I turn 18 I will definitely convert but I cant wait any longer. Can anyone offer any advice or have any experience with things like this. If you dont would you just pray for me.
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I love this short video and always post it when people such as yourself ask the question you are asking. I think it answers a lot of your questions about what to do.

josemariaescriva.info/article/opus-dei-founder-escriva-chile-father-i-am-jewish

Also, See if you can find David Currie’s Journey Home interview on EWTN. He had a similar problem (although he was an adult) about how to tell everyone and I think what he did was write a letter explaining his decision and why he wanted to convert. Then mailed it to the people who would be most affected by it. Let them read the letter and then later on when they had time to calm down and digest what was being said answer their questions and have a discussion with them. He said he did this because he wanted people to get over their initial knee-jerk reactions and to be able to have a conversation with these people without the bombshell “shock” of him saying he was converting to Catholicism. It also kept him from having to explain his choice over and over again. You might consider this approach as well.
 
For what it’s worth, I just recently told my hyper-Protestant, rather anti-Catholic family. I waited until the time felt right (longer for my Dad’s side than my Mom’s). They were all surprisingly understanding and were glad that I’d found a community of people of faith that I felt comfortable and happy in. I’m assuming you still live at home, which will undoubtedly make it a bit harder, but you’ll feel better when you let them know the decision you’ve made. Be prepared to explain why you’ve chosen this path if they ask (my family didn’t).

Best of luck - I’ll pray for you!
 
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