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Sieglinde

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I have a question and would like an answer for it. There is this guy at my church that is a Eucharistic Minister and he is dating this woman who started to attend my church about a year or two ago, I know both because I was the one who set them up. My question is, well I know that they are sexually active, the man is my brother-in-laws friend and he told him. He spends many nights at her home. Ok, so I found out he was becomining a Eucaristic Minister and I was concerned so I mentioned this to a friend who is also a close friend of our Pastor, he knew right away who I was talking about and said he would bring it up to our Pastor. Well this man started to serve at our masses as a Eucaristic Minister, and I have refused to go to him when he is serving. About a 6 month later I happen to be at confession and just in general asked my Pastor about a person who does this and is a Minister, I said is this not wrong, he said as long as he is going to confession he is fine. I know this is not my problem, but he is giving communion to people in my church when he has commited a mortal sin. I have even heard on Catholic Answers live that if a person continually goes to confession for the same sin, and is not really sorry because they go back and commit the sin again that they are not really forgiven. I guess my thing is do I just continue to ignor this and let him give communion or should I go to the Bishop, since my Pastor sees nothing wrong and speak to the Bishop. Please help. :confused:
 
You’re not actually his judge but you can go to another Minister for your peace of mind. You can’t be sure that anything incorrect is occurring, even if it seems highly possible, even probable. You are allowing this to become a distraction to your own spirit perhaps.

You can’t know more than this man is purtting himself in an occasion of sin perhaps, and yes, we should avoid that. But you still don’t know what his particular truth is. If I wilfully sinned in something on a regular basis then I would wonder who I was kidding, not God, I think.

However there are many sincere Catholics who don’t seem to be informed regarding the Church’s/Christ’s teachings on what is called fornication, and seem quite innocent about it or to sincerely regard it as irrelevant or outmoded. This may be true of this man. It’s not according to Scripture or Church teaching, but how culpable are they in relation to someone who honestly knows he/she is sinning in adultery or fornication? Only God knows. Your priest may have been subtly telling you do mind your own business. How God regards their sincere belief is only known to God.

However it seems there is already judgemental talk, as well as disturbance to devout folk such as you. Your priest is in a difficult position between deeply Catholic and liberal views. Our modern world makes it particularly difficult for priests, and they sometimes struggle.

I can’t say whether or not to speak with your Bishop, but please do so with a respectful appointment or a respectful letter, and don’t broardcast your concerns to others as this becomes gossip, which is also as you know, not desirable regarding love which isWho God is.

God grant healing, courage, wisdom and peace to all dealing with such issues. God bless you, good person that you are! Trishie
 
You have basically evoked the sin of scandal upon this person, probably rightfully. Before going anywhere, I would ask this young man and his girlfriend out to a cafe or something with your brother-in-law, and bring up your concerns with very deep humility and charity. Say what you have heard, say what you understand is Catholic teaching (make sure you are well grounded and get your brother-in-law to back you up if confirmation is needed), and say that IF the rumors are true, you don’t understand how this person can serve the Lord so prominently but still reject his teaching. Even if this doesn’t effect immediate change, it should plant a seed for conversion of heart. By all means, keep your dignity and peace as you preach the Word. They will judge you by your actions. Do not mention the priest who, with limited knowledge of the situation, made hasty words.
 
Do NOT go to the Bishop on this, as that is not the sequence outlined in Matthew 18:15-17. We are all depending on God’s mercy and grace. It is not our place to judge whether someone else is in a state of mortal sin.

Even if the priest himself who (through the Holy Spirit) consecrates the Eucharist is in a state of mortal sin, that does NOT in any way annul the fact that you are still receiving the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ. It is still a valid Eucharist. I believe the Catechism speaks to that point, and would greatly appreciate someone to give the paragraph as I didn’t find it.
 
Thank you for all your help. I do know that I am not his judge and that only God can do that. I am not sure what I am going to do, but I know that I have a lot of praying to do for him and his girlfriend. As for meeting up with them, well that will take some prayers also, I have to find just the right words to say without sounding like I am judging them. As for what they do behind closed doors is not my business but I just feel no matter what anyone says and I understand that receiving the Eucharist is the Body of Jesus but to receive it from someone who is in Mortal sin is something I do not wish to receive. This is just so confusing I just wish I did not worry so much about it, I just love going to church and to receive Jesus in the Body and Blood but being this way I feel that I am in sin. I do realize this and go to confession each week if needed, but now am I in the same boat as him, judging him and then figuring Confession will save me, but I continue to judge him again and again. Well I need to go, thank you all for your answers and please pray for me.:o
 
Who are you? The Vatican Police? MYOB.

If they are doing something wrong…they well know it…gossiping about it, will not end. I am guessing the whole congregation knows about it now.

You should have told your bil not to tell you things about others private lives…it’s called gossip and has nothing to do with you.
 
I am not gossiping about anything, I have mentioned this to two people and one I gave no names. I am just concerned and wanted some answers, but not from someone who seems angry. I do know it is not my business and that is what I am asking for is help and prayers that I can get through or get past it. But you know if we all ignored incidents like this in our church, our church would be full of Mortal sinners but if we try to help them make the right decisions then maybe they will help someone who needs it and so on and so on. Then we could become a Catholic Church that God would be proud of, and not saddened by.
 
YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW IF HE IS IN MORTAL SIN. He could be going to confession just right before he goes to church.

I attend church on Sat.'s and right before Mass I go to confession and confess my sins. You don’t know if he is going to confession unless you do a stake out and check if he and she are going to confession.LOL. He may also be going to a different Catholic church to confess his sins so the people in his church don’t really know if he has been to confession.

His personal life is none of your business because you don’t financially support him. Stop throwing stones at him or…the stones may start to go your way for being so interfering in his life.
You may be the one ending up in trouble with God.

I have to tell you… I am not an angry person but I sure don’t like being judged by other Catholics. I can get really offended by other Catholics if they say something negative to me. Only God can judge me.

You asked for HELP and my advise as a counselor with a Masters degree in Psychology is to forget about him and move on in your life to something positive.
 
Sieglinde said:
I have a question and would like an answer for it. There is this guy at my church that is a Eucharistic Minister and he is dating this woman who started to attend my church about a year or two ago, I know both because I was the one who set them up. My question is, well I know that they are sexually active, the man is my brother-in-laws friend and he told him. He spends many nights at her home. Ok, so I found out he was becomining a Eucaristic Minister and I was concerned so I mentioned this to a friend who is also a close friend of our Pastor, he knew right away who I was talking about and said he would bring it up to our Pastor. Well this man started to serve at our masses as a Eucaristic Minister, and I have refused to go to him when he is serving. About a 6 month later I happen to be at confession and just in general asked my Pastor about a person who does this and is a Minister, I said is this not wrong, he said as long as he is going to confession he is fine. I know this is not my problem, but he is giving communion to people in my church when he has commited a mortal sin. I have even heard on Catholic Answers live that if a person continually goes to confession for the same sin, and is not really sorry because they go back and commit the sin again that they are not really forgiven. I guess my thing is do I just continue to ignor this and let him give communion or should I go to the Bishop, since my Pastor sees nothing wrong and speak to the Bishop. Please help. :confused:
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Since your pastor is aware of the situation my adivice is to BUTT OUT(which would be my advice even if your Pastor was not aware of the situation). You have no idea what this couple is doing behind closed doors. and unless Jesus is a EM at your Church EVERYONE you recieve communion from is a sinner.

BTW-Confession is where we confess our sins-not where we confess others sins.
 
Teaching the sinner is a spiritual work of mercy. Failure to do so, under certain circumstances, can be a mortal sin.

I recommend several posters read, the Catholic Encyclopedia’s entry under Fraternal Correction. newadvent.org/cathen/04394a.htm

It’s definitely a hard task to undertake. Much care must be given and all must be done in total humility and charity or the situation is likely to exacerbate. That doesn’t mean we should shirk this duty. Sieglinde, you are in my prayers.
 
BBentrup, you are the first to give me an actual article that can help me to understand more of this. This is to the others who helped, I understand I do not know what goes behind closed doors, all I can do is pray for them. As for confession, as I said before I had heard on Catholic Answers live, if someone commits a mortal sin or just sin and goes to confession for it they get penance and God forgives them. What they said on the radio is that if a person continues this sin and continues to go to confession week after week they are not truly sorry for what they have done, they see it as no big deal. What are we teaching our children if we continue at this pace, does no one see where the world is going. I know I need to get off my high horse but look at what the Bishops did, ignored the Priest and what they were doing to the children and just sent them to different parishes, now our church is paying for it. I believe in this Church, the Pope and all it’s people, all I can do now is get down on my knees and pray for us all. Sorry if I sound angry, I am not, just please pray that I can deal with this and finally let it go.😦
 
You know what, it may not be your right to judge if someone is in mortal sin, but some things are just right in your face. I get it. If you know what is happening, so do others in your parish. If your priest lets it continue to happen, then there is nothing you can do except not take communion from him. I, personally, do not like taking communion from anyone other than a priest or deacon.

Don’t bring the subject up to them. That is a waste of time. They know what they are doing and no matter what you say you will not change it. Just pray for their enlightenment and continue to step into someone else’s communion line!
 
Sieglinde said:
BBentrup, you are the first to give me an actual article that can help me to understand more of this. This is to the others who helped, I understand I do not know what goes behind closed doors, all I can do is pray for them. As for confession, as I said before I had heard on Catholic Answers live, if someone commits a mortal sin or just sin and goes to confession for it they get penance and God forgives them. What they said on the radio is that if a person continues this sin and continues to go to confession week after week they are not truly sorry for what they have done, they see it as no big deal. What are we teaching our children if we continue at this pace, does no one see where the world is going. I know I need to get off my high horse but look at what the Bishops did, ignored the Priest and what they were doing to the children and just sent them to different parishes, now our church is paying for it. I believe in this Church, the Pope and all it’s people, all I can do now is get down on my knees and pray for us all. Sorry if I sound angry, I am not, just please pray that I can deal with this and finally let it go.😦
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I am glad that the article may be of some use to you as you seek wisdom. Regarding the advice you heard on the apologist radio program, I would like to suggest you misunderstood or misheard what was said. When a sinner goes to confession week after week confessing the same sin, it MAY be that he is not truly sorry, although it MAY be the sinner knows what is right, but has already formed a very strong addiction that is hard to break, given our secular culture. No one can say for sure, but I hope and think likely the second is by far the more common. When we fall all too frequently, we have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off in confession, and try to do our best. Life is a long struggle, so we have to assume the best in our brothers.
 
Thank you aime and BBen, I will take all into account. God’s blessings to you all. 😉
 
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